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Apr 10, 2018
So my older borther was verbally assulting my mom again. 90% of the time I ignore his tantrums becuase it's all lies and attention whoreing bullshit manipulation. But I just couldn't take it anymore. Went downstairs to beat him with a piece of ply wood, mom stopped me.

After the neighbor and my mom calmed me down. My mom was telling the neighbor how if I weren't home with him, she would move out. She fears for my life at the hands of his bullshit, if she weren't here. And even tho when I'm home alone with him I DON'T CROSS PATHS WITH HIM, she's right. He tried to killed me 3 times already.

So instead of making her stay here, and to not give that psycho the satisfaction it literally would be better to kill myself. That way my mom would be able to live on her own away from that abusive cunt and I would return to the nothing I longingly desire. I fucking hate life to the fullest. If life was good, abusive people like him would not exsist. If there was a god, he would be the one dead, not my dad and not soon to be me. I am so sick of living in fear cuz of him.
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