N
new.solution1
Experienced
- Dec 14, 2021
- 258
I will have to take this day by day.
I hope whatever happens happens soon.
My desperation is once again greater than ever before.
I feel comfort in knowing that I am closer to death. I feel tremendous discomfort in knowing that I could keep on feeling better, and having this stall forever. At a certain point, I will have to CTB regardless that I keep feeling better. Still, that decision does not feel close by. This is not good. This is terrible.
I don't want there to be proof that I will get better, but that is what is necessary for me to not CTB. I do not want it, because I know it is not possible. Still, my mind keeps on hankering for a way out. Unfortunately, all it comes up with is that I can get over it, there will be a miracle, I need to try harder. That does not make facts untrue.
I hope whatever happens happens soon.
My desperation is once again greater than ever before.
I feel comfort in knowing that I am closer to death. I feel tremendous discomfort in knowing that I could keep on feeling better, and having this stall forever. At a certain point, I will have to CTB regardless that I keep feeling better. Still, that decision does not feel close by. This is not good. This is terrible.
I don't want there to be proof that I will get better, but that is what is necessary for me to not CTB. I do not want it, because I know it is not possible. Still, my mind keeps on hankering for a way out. Unfortunately, all it comes up with is that I can get over it, there will be a miracle, I need to try harder. That does not make facts untrue.