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LOVELYDARKDEEP

LOVELYDARKDEEP

will you gnaw off your own leg to escape the trap?
Mar 20, 2024
63
I have very few attachments holding me here. I finished putting my kit together earlier this year, I've made all the proper arrangements and have gotten my affairs in order. I've had many months to change my mind, to reconsider things. I haven't changed my decision, only deferred my fate for a bit longer. The die is cast; it is now it a matter of time.

The greatest of my attachments are my two senior cats. I have had them their entire lives, and they love me unconditionally. I could never leave them behind, knowing how strongly they are bonded to me, knowing that they would be surrendered to a shelter and likely remain unadopted and ultimately put down because of their costly medical issues.

As of today, I only have one cat.

I'll be ready to go when he is.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
6,348
I'm sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved family member. Please find solace in the fact that you gave him/her a great life and unconditional love and they were so much better for it.
 
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Whale_bones

Whale_bones

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
211
I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat, it sounds like he/she got to live a full and happy life with you. I think it's admirable to decide to be there for your senior pets for as long as they need you.

Your username and profile picture remind me of the beautiful Robert Frost poem. The choral composer Eric Whitacre used this poem as inspiration for his piece "Sleep". It's one of my favorite musical pieces, if you enjoy the poem I think you will find the song beautiful as well.



"The evening hangs beneath the moon,
a silver thread on darkened dune.
With closing eyes and resting head;
I know that sleep is coming soon.

Upon my pillow, safe in bed,
A thousand pictures fill my head,
I cannot sleep, my mind's aflight;
And yet my limbs seems made of lead.

If there are noises in the night,
A frightening shadow, Flickerering light;
Then I surrender unto sleep,
Where clouds of dream give second sight.

What dreams may come,
Both dark and deep--
Of flying wings and soaring leap?
As I surrender unto sleep.
As I surrender unto sleep.
As I surrender unto sleep."
 
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LOVELYDARKDEEP

LOVELYDARKDEEP

will you gnaw off your own leg to escape the trap?
Mar 20, 2024
63
Your username and profile picture remind me of the beautiful Robert Frost poem. The choral composer Eric Whitacre used this poem as inspiration for his piece "Sleep". It's one of my favorite musical pieces, if you enjoy the poem I think you will find the song beautiful as well.
Thank you for the kind words.

My profile heavily references another poem by Robert Frost, one which has been my favorite for decades; Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.


It's always been a poem that's held a very personal meaning for me. It brings to mind many memories of pensive evenings spent loitering, quite literally, at the edge of the woods, before turning away. Not for lack of desire or courage, but because I know I must wait and endure for just a little while longer.

Now, finally, my watch is almost over. Not so many miles left, now. And the woods have always been waiting. They are more patient than I.
 
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1043169

1043169

I put the HOT in psychotic
Jul 9, 2024
92
I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is losing a family member.
 
Rosebud0924

Rosebud0924

Member
Jul 6, 2024
11
I'm sorry for your loss. One of the only reasons I'm still here is because of my cats. But losing them is so heartbreaking. I wish you peace.
 
Whale_bones

Whale_bones

Experienced
Feb 11, 2020
211
Thank you for the kind words.

My profile heavily references another poem by Robert Frost, one which has been my favorite for decades; Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

Yes, that is the poem which I was referencing! When I saw the words "lovely dark deep" that's immediately what came to mind. The song I shared wasn't written by Robert Frost, it's an adaptation of Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening (hence why it has a very similar cadence, rhyme pattern and feel).

The choral composer originally set Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening directly to music, but the estate of Robert Frost wouldn't allow him to use the words. So he worked with a writer to create what became "Sleep".

It's always been a poem that's held a very personal meaning for me. It brings to mind many memories of pensive evenings spent loitering, quite literally, at the edge of the woods, before turning away. Not for lack of desire or courage, but because I know I must wait and endure for just a little while longer.

Now, finally, my watch is almost over. Not so many miles left, now. And the woods have always been waiting. They are more patient than I.

You describe this very eloquently and beautifully. Both the poem and the song give me very similar feelings (though I can't put them into words as well as you can.)

Paired together, they have an especially unique meaning to me. The poem's final lines are "and miles to go before I sleep", which speaks to me of more necessary pain and suffering to endure, while the song's final lines are "as I surrender unto sleep"; it's almost as if the song is finishing the story of the poem, in a way that's saying it's okay, you no longer have to watch at the edge of the woods, you have earned your rest. I find it peaceful and comforting.
 

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