Anhedonia

[Wizard999666]

My anhedonia is so bad that I have to lay in bed half the day and do nothing. It's impossible to do anything, and just laying in bed gives me some sense of relief. I used to think that I had depression for years, but what I'm experiencing now is on a different level. Looking back at it now I was very functional in that period where I thought that I was depressed. I wanted to escape, I was considering a van life/homeless existence because I was tired of everything. I did a bike tour for 2 weeks. I was a full time worker and I was very productive. Right now the anhedonia is basically making me disabled. I feel so shitty all the time that just getting through the day is a huge challenge. Doing anything is difficult. The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that this will pass some day. I mean I would just die now if I had the option, but my parents are the thing that's keeping me here. I don't think I can endure this vegetable existence for much longer though.

Does anyone else have experience with anhedonia?

 

[BigG91]

Yes
I'm on the bed all day constantly thinking of everything that has happened or might happen in the future. Time passes very quickly. I just eat and the sleep at night for 6 hours. And the cycle repeats.
For me it's probably a symptoms or phase of my Bipolar Disorder or a side effect of the medication but i have been like this for more than a year now.
I always feel weak and have cognitive impairment i can say like my concentration and memory isn't so good. I feel weak and am not able to work.

 

[downndone2]

Yes, I've actually experienced this 4 a few years after I quite literally ruined the perfect life. I work remotely and my schedule is flexible, thank goodness.

The rest of my time is spent in bed. It takes all motivation I have to clean my house, take a shower, brush my teeth, do laundry, etc.

I HATE who I've become

 

[Wizard999666]

Yes
I'm on the bed all day constantly thinking of everything that has happened or might happen in the future. Time passes very quickly. I just eat and the sleep at night for 6 hours. And the cycle repeats.
For me it's probably a symptoms or phase of my Bipolar Disorder or a side effect of the medication but i have been like this for more than a year now.
I always feel weak and have cognitive impairment i can say like my concentration and memory isn't so good. I feel weak and am not able to work.

I notice too that time passes by quickly when I'm in bed. I have schizophrenia but I've been symptom-free for a while. I don't know if it's due to the medication or if it just passed on it's own. Maybe the medicine is giving me side effects, but I don't really believe much in the medicine anyway, I bet it's all placebo. I feel weak too, very weak.

Yes, I've actually experienced this 4 a few years after I quite literally ruined the perfect life. I work remotely and my schedule is flexible, thank goodness.

The rest of my time is spent in bed. It takes all motivation I have to clean my house, take a shower, brush my teeth, do laundry, etc.

I HATE who I've become

Everything would be great if it weren't for this. I had a job that I loved, and they still want me back. I used to be very different from this. I was super active in school, the teachers loved me. I was strong mentally. Now I'm weak, very very weak. I don't see how I can recover from this. Even when I was psychotic I was happy. It's just this hardcore depression started almost a year ago that's destroying me.

 

[downndone2]

I notice too that time passes by quickly when I'm in bed. I have schizophrenia but I've been symptom-free for a while. I don't know if it's due to the medication or if it just passed on it's own. Maybe the medicine is giving me side effects, but I don't really believe much in the medicine anyway, I bet it's all placebo. I feel weak too, very weak.

Everything would be great if it weren't for this. I had a job that I loved, and they still want me back. I used to be very different from this. I was super active in school, the teachers loved me. I was strong mentally. Now I'm weak, very very weak. I don't see how I can recover from this. Even when I was psychotic I was happy. It's just this hardcore depression started almost a year ago that's destroying me.

I'm so sorry. Do you think going back to work is possible? Work and my dogs keep me busy to a point. But other than that I have zero motivation

 

[BigG91]

I notice too that time passes by quickly when I'm in bed. I have schizophrenia but I've been symptom-free for a while. I don't know if it's due to the medication or if it just passed on it's own. Maybe the medicine is giving me side effects, but I don't really believe much in the medicine anyway, I bet it's all placebo. I feel weak too, very weak.

Everything would be great if it weren't for this. I had a job that I loved, and they still want me back. I used to be very different from this. I was super active in school, the teachers loved me. I was strong mentally. Now I'm weak, very very weak. I don't see how I can recover from this. Even when I was psychotic I was happy. It's just this hardcore depression started almost a year ago that's destroying me.

Same with me too..I used to be active too , i was into soccer and used to work hard and never missed out on work ...i also think psychosis and some antipsychotics cause some brain damage so that could be the reason too

 

[loststar]

Yeah it sucks, i used to be very social but now i really only see 1 friend and even that isnt very often

 

[Wizard999666]

I'm so sorry. Do you think going back to work is possible? Work and my dogs keep me busy to a point. But other than that I have zero motivation

I was perhaps able to work 3 months ago, that was my original plan when I got out of the asylum. Now it's gotten so bad that I just can't do anything any longer.

 

[downndone2]

I was perhaps able to work 3 months ago, that was my original plan when I got out of the asylum. Now it's gotten so bad that I just can't do anything any longer.

I'm certainly not one to be suggesting anything because I feel the same. I literally lay in a dark room as much as possible.
But maybe take it day by day or week by week, trying to push yourself just a bit more
Then maybe you can go back part time at first

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Yeah, what's the point of any of this? My situation will be unchanged.

 

[9BBN]

Relatable.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, I live a very empty existence, like I have already died in a way. I am very tired and nothing brings me any enjoyment, I exist for the sake of existing. There is no future for me. The thought of death is comforting and it is a relief, but the problem is that I could potentially have many decades left if I do not ctb and that is a horrifying thought.

 

[Cancún]

I have anhedonia it's fucking horrible can't do shit one of the reason to be here same as you idk if it's a side of meds or it's my brain who knows but I'm fucked

 

[NegativeSymptoms]

I have anhedonia because of schizophrenia and depression. Apathy, cognitive impairment and anhedonia. Been lying on my bed for the last 8 years and I'm only 24. Psychiatry says it's irreversible, but there is evidence that modern psychoanalytic therapy (Spotnitz) can reverse it. Hope in therapy and unwillingness to cause trauma to my close ones keeps me alive. Other than that I'm psychologically dead.

 

[September5th]

Oh, yeah. That's pretty much how I've been living. I can still do some things, though. In the weekends, however... Yeah. 100% in bed all day long.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Yes just lay in bed - everything else too frightening….

 

[Niirvana]

I'm dead in life, I don't have the strength or energy to continue, I live yawning at work, coffee doesn't do anything for me anymore, it's my main cause of ctb, how useless I am and the depression I've had all my life. I want to die right now and sleep forever :(. Any other person in my place would have already killed herself

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Whenever I'm not in bed (and I'm usually in bed longer than I have to be), I'm wasting my time in front of the computer screen. I haven't done anything truly productive and for myself in a long time. I feel like wasted space. I would feel better if I gave my resources to somebody else and just died. Why even bother?

 

[Yeeyee]

I'm a little relieved that I'm not the only one who was pretty normal and productive and then all of a sudden everything hit the fan. I wasn't amazing but I was working and doing a play.

 

[September5th]

The worst part is pretending that everything is fine and you're ok. Seriously, some times I just want to cry in public and throw everything at the wall. I'll say it again: I, no jokes, would rather burn my hole body up than having to stay one more second of my day in this hell.