Venting Angry and in freeze mode

[ShanaRei]

Y'all. Im stuck in freeze mode. Im behind on everything. My family is pissed at me. Im supposed to be looking for a job, but I can't make myself do it anymore. I've applied to over 50 places in the last two months and only got three interviews and one of them was a scam. I need money yet I don't want money. I hate money and how it means literally everything in society and that you're nothing without it.
And the thought of working all day in some warehouse for 10+hours makes me want to crawl into a hole and die. My family thinks I'm just lazy. They think I don't care about anything but inside I've become numb. They have no idea how bad it's gotten out here in the last couple of months.
My life pre Covid was so much better. I would not be in this mess if not for the f****** that went down in 2020. I would still be working the job I loved and living life enjoying nature and art. I wouldn't be so unstable. I wouldn't be so…dead inside.
I hate this world. I hate banks and world governments and f****** credit scores and money. I hate it all.
And now I just want to die, y'all.
Why is this so hard?

 

[uniqueusername39]

hugs. i felt intense suicidal feelings in the months i was unemployed. and when i did get hired, i was happy temporarily, and then back to suicidal ideation lol. it's become a baseline for me it seems. but well, rather be miserable with money than miserable with no money.

and it's so hard because there are too many humans to compete for work that pays meager shit in this planet.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me existing in this hellish world truly is such a cruel punishment, it's very much understandable hating being trapped here, I also despise existing, there really is too much suffering in this cruel, awful world. And I see it as being insensitive how people so selfishly procreate just to insult that person for not wanting to be a slave. It disgusts me how so many people think that staying here and suffering just to inevitably be tortured by old age is an obligation.

 

[Archness]

My life is "fridged" too. It sucks, basically already over!