Anger is the key to CTB

[pauly1963]

My last attempt at CTB was by attempting the vsed method. This attempt failed due to a bout of delerium caused through severe dehydration. I was screaming out, probably when I was hallucinating, although I barely remember most of it. The neighbors above me became concerned , the police came, and to cut a long story short I was sectioned. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to successfully CTB is to do it in a state of anger, and also use a method that is fast and brutal, with no chance of backing out once you have committed yourself to doing so. Or removing any chance of survival instinct ruining the attempt. I despise the human body, brain and it's automatic survival instinct. Things would be so much easier without it.

 

[Someone123]

This is normal for VSED, something many people don't realize- when the dehydration sets in the brain starts malfunctioning and screaming is normal. VSED works in a hospice setting due to very powerful painkillers and sedatives that only doctors and nurses can access.

 

[jodes2]

There must be more peaceful ways to CTB? I don't think we should have to force ourselves through hell to CTB

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

When I am in a state of anger I become aggressive and get into kind of a fighting mode. In this state there is no room for suicidality.

 

[aladdin]

I never heard of this. What is VSED?

 

[Silent.Tears]

That sounds very painful . People are going to resort to such torturous methods, so pro-lifers should understand that taking away peaceful ways to die is only going to make situation worse. World didn't let me live peacefully, now atleast let me leave peacefully.....

 

[Someone123]

I never heard of this. What is VSED?

Voluntary stopping eating and drinking. At some point dehydration causes the brain to malfunction.

 

[Exact Change]

I was boozed and xannied up, but anger was the main force that had me make my one attempt. However I was found

 

[aladdin]

Voluntary stopping eating and drinking. At some point dehydration causes the brain to malfunction.

Oh thank you. That sounds very hard to pull off. I was severely dehydrated once from gastroenteritis (food poisoning). It was definitely not fun.

 

[Someone123]

Oh thank you. That sounds very hard to pull off. I was severely dehydrated once from gastroenteritis (food poisoning). It was definitely not fun.

It's impossible to pull off outside of a hospice setting, because at some point the dehydration causes the brain to malfunction and you forget what you are doing, plus the apin of extreeme dehydration is so intense that people always start screaming in this situation. Still many people think this method will be peaceful since the first few days can be peaceful.

 

[Green_leaf]

I am very surprised something so obvious is hardly mentioned in other threads, actually discovering yours has been a very reasuring breakthrough.

Anger is the untold Nemesis of SI but it seems to be quite unpopular here. Add to the recipe substantial ammounts of acute despair and ruthless determination, steming from the firm belief (or rather reality) that life has nothing more to offer, and you are in the fast lane to OTB (overtake the bus).

 

[pauly1963]

I never heard of this. What is VSED?

VSED stands for Voluntary Stop Eating and Drinking. It is a very difficult process towards the end, due to cognitive problems. They use it in hospitals and hospices in certain countries. I definitely wouldn't recommend doing it without medical supervision. Patients who die this way under supervision have a relatively peaceful death.

 

[Someone123]

VSED stands for Voluntary Stop Eating and Drinking. It is a very difficult process towards the end, due to cognitive problems. They use it in hospitals and hospices in certain countries. I definitely wouldn't recommend doing it without medical supervision. Patients who die this way under supervision have a relatively peaceful death.

The reason it works under supervision is because they can continually medicate with powerful painkillers by i.v., as well as sedatives by i.v, monitored by doctors and nurses. A person can't make this work on their own.

 

[DonTellMeToStayAlive]

My last attempt at CTB was by attempting the vsed method. This attempt failed due to a bout of delerium caused through severe dehydration. I was screaming out, probably when I was hallucinating, although I barely remember most of it. The neighbors above me become concerned , the police came, and to cut a long story short I was sectioned. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to successfully CTB is to do it in a state of anger, and also use a method that is fast and brutal, with no chance of backing out once you have committed yourself to doing so. Or removing any chance of survival instinct ruining the attempt. I despise the human body, brain and it's automatic survival instinct. Things would be so much easier without it.

I would agree. My own attempts, while not ending up in being caught, have often been stopped by being chickened out because of the (i have no proper way to describe this ) "hellish visions" that came as my survival instinct took over when I was trying to hang myself, or by me involuntarily ripping open the plastic bag I was asphyxiating myself with. It is unfortunate that we are alone in our individual suicide attempts. I wish I were a little more "impulsive", or as you say, "angry", so that I could bypass my survival instincts and just get into what I really want (death lmao)
Alas, such is life

 

[pauly1963]

I would agree. My own attempts, while not ending up in being caught, have often been stopped by being chickened out because of the (i have no proper way to describe this ) "hellish visions" that came as my survival instinct took over when I was trying to hang myself, or by me involuntarily ripping open the plastic bag I was asphyxiating myself with. It is unfortunate that we are alone in our individual suicide attempts. I wish I were a little more "impulsive", or as you say, "angry", so that I could bypass my survival instincts and just get into what I really want (death lmao)
Alas, such is life

So sorry you had to go through that. The brain can play some terrible tricks on us.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this world, I do hate this world that makes it as difficult as possible for us to die. It's disturbing how peaceful and reliable methods get restricted and how people who never asked for this life in the first place have to resort to such horrific methods. Those who are against suicide and see it as a negative thing really are insane.

To me the VSED method does sound unbearable to go through with which is why I haven't really considered it, I do agree that it's preferable to go for a quicker method. It sounds agonising dying slowly, but nothing could ever compare to the pain that this pointless and hellish existence continues to bring for living beings. But yes, I do think that being desperate is what makes many people finally go through with less than desirable methods like hanging and jumping. So many have succeeded after all. I just think that many people reach a point that they would do anything to escape and I envy those who succeeded as they managed to free themselves from this awful world.

 

[Pentobarbital_Plz]

World didn't let me live peacefully, now atleast let me leave peacefully.....

Please!

 

[pauly1963]

It's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this world, I do hate this world that makes it as difficult as possible for us to die. It's disturbing how peaceful and reliable methods get restricted and how people who never asked for this life in the first place have to resort to such horrific methods. Those who are against suicide and see it as a negative thing really are insane.

To me the VSED method does sound unbearable to go through with which is why I haven't really considered it, I do agree that it's preferable to go for a quicker method. It sounds agonising dying slowly, but nothing could ever compare to the pain that this pointless and hellish existence continues to bring for living beings. But yes, I do think that being desperate is what makes many people finally go through with less than desirable methods like hanging and jumping. So many have succeeded after all. I just think that many people reach a point that they would do anything to escape and I envy those who succeeded as they managed to free themselves from this awful world

It's like the survival instinct exists just to prolong our suffering and keep us trapped here in this world, I do hate this world that makes it as difficult as possible for us to die. It's disturbing how peaceful and reliable methods get restricted and how people who never asked for this life in the first place have to resort to such horrific methods. Those who are against suicide and see it as a negative thing really are insane.

To me the VSED method does sound unbearable to go through with which is why I haven't really considered it, I do agree that it's preferable to go for a quicker method. It sounds agonising dying slowly, but nothing could ever compare to the pain that this pointless and hellish existence continues to bring for living beings. But yes, I do think that being desperate is what makes many people finally go through with less than desirable methods like hanging and jumping. So many have succeeded after all. I just think that many people reach a point that they would do anything to escape and I envy those who succeeded as they managed to free themselves from this awful world.

I would never recommend attempting VSED alone: It is a very gruelling process, and quite terrible when you come close to death due to the physical and psychological problems it presents. On the other hand, when it is done under medical supervision, the process is relatively pain free and peaceful. It is utterly disgraceful how the medical profession fails to recognize the torment of those who wish to die due to mental illness, existential angst etc. Medically assisted VSED should be made available to everyone who truly needs it, and not just to a select few. Isn't the medical profession supposed to be one of kindness and mercy. Obviously not.

 

[its-about-time]

Anger is where it's at. Anger towards myself combined with utter hopelessness and meaningless is the key for me feeling most impulsive and ready. I've also had times where I am happy and calm and peaceful and been ready to do it. I'd prefer the latter. But really, whatever gets the job done. Blowing my brain out of my skull feels like I should be angry to do it. It's a statement in itself. Last night I felt good and was gravitating towards my SN again. Guess I've got two options for two moods.

 

[Shivali]

Fury ... No not for me for a long time. When I was younger yes but I' m old now and it is enough to feel sick and deadly tired . I only have to give up ... to surrender

 

[Ineedtodie]

There must be more peaceful ways to CTB? I don't think we should have to force ourselves through hell to CTB

Its so frustrating to prolonge our suffering just because available methods for everyone are brutal and descreet.

Only makes us feel more trapped.

 

[Tricondyla ledouxi]

I am very surprised something so obvious is hardly mentioned in other threads, actually discovering yours has been a very reasuring breakthrough.

Anger is the untold Nemesis of SI but it seems to be quite unpopular here. Add to the recipe substantial ammounts of acute despair and ruthless determination, steming from the firm belief (or rather reality) that life has nothing more to offer, and you are in the fast lane to OTB (overtake the bus).

I like that phrase, OTB. Hoping I can OTB by drowning if all else fails.

 

[cherry7]

I would never recommend attempting VSED alone: It is a very gruelling process, and quite terrible when you come close to death due to the physical and psychological problems it presents. On the other hand, when it is done under medical supervision, the process is relatively pain free and peaceful. It is utterly disgraceful how the medical profession fails to recognize the torment of those who wish to die due to mental illness, existential angst etc. Medically assisted VSED should be made available to everyone who truly needs it, and not just to a select few. Isn't the medical profession supposed to be one of kindness and mercy. Obviously not.

How do you know this?