And they say we're the ones with twisted views...

[stilldreaming]

I read in the Washington Post several years ago an op ed about how beautiful it can be to help your parent die. With her body failing and unable to leave the medical facility, the journalist's beloved mother decided it was time to say goodbye before things got even worse.

I don't recall the possibility of physician-assisted suicide even being mentioned in the article, instead they went straight to starvation/dehydration for this beloved mother. There was even an official term for this, assumably so it can be approved by the doctors so that they don't put the patient on an IV to give them sustenance.

And, how wonderful was this experience of caring for her mother during her twilight days. Talking to her, listening to her, helping to moisten her lips with a sponge to deal with the discomfort of how cracked they become from lack of hydration.

It was like reading some sort of horror story. I would've expected it to be a cautionary tale about why assisted suicide for dying patients should be legalized in every state (instead of just a handful), because otherwise you'll have to sit by as your cherished family member starves to death. But no, this was a lovely experience. And so many comments backed it up, other middle-aged ladies who also thought it was so beautiful to help their mothers die in this gruesome way.

You ever get that feeling sometimes like the world is so insane, and yet almost everyone is fine with it? And like you need to take crazy pills to fit in?

Considering how Dr Kevorkian used to be a boogeyman in the US, it's a wonder that any states today allow assisted suicide for medical reasons. I used to believe that slowly more and more states will allow it for medical reasons as well, but considering the theocratic turn in the US in the red states, maybe not. I don't understand why religious people are so terrified of death, but there you have it. They claim to care about the 'sanctity of life' and that helping the terminally ill die would be like murder.........whilst sending their sons off to the military and war (and declaring capital punishment to be just). Remember: doctors sanctioning death is evil, but state-sanctioned murder is a-okay. (I think it says somewhere in the Bible something about not putting any nation's laws above the laws in the Bible, buuuuut it's probably somewhere toward the back, gosh who can read that far y'know?)

 

[Zegers]

There are so many things that make this a profoundly hypocritical society.

 

[Hollowman]

That's how my dad died but he had alzheimers and they gave him morphine. Hopefully the starvation/dehydration wasn't too uncomfortable. But yeah it's fucked up, they mostly want to drag shit out as long as possible for financial gain.

 

[WhyWasIBorn]

Found that out quite recently that it's legal in 10 US states but you need to have a terminal illness with 6 months or less to live, and no doubt a few of those months are filled with excruciating pain and paperwork not counting the degree of illness that led up to the terminal diagnosis.

The states are California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.

"Whether or not your state has a death with dignity statute, you have a number of options available to hasten your death. These options are legal in every state. However, none can be used on your own. Rather, they require working with your healthcare team and loved ones." The options being listed here including the Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking. https://deathwithdignity.org/resources/options-to-hasten-death/

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

That's how my dad died but he had alzheimers and they gave him morphine. Hopefully the starvation/dehydration wasn't too uncomfortable. But yeah it's fucked up, they mostly want to drag shit out as long as possible for financial gain.

It's more than just financial gain. The UK does it too even though the NHS doesn't get money the same way for the same things. They get paid to treat what they can with relatively fixed sums of money so they prioritise treatments and (long) waiting times

 

[Forever Sleep]

"Whether or not your state has a death with dignity statute, you have a number of options available to hasten your death. These options are legal in every state. However, none can be used on your own. Rather, they require working with your healthcare team and loved ones." The options being listed here including the Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking.

Starving and dehydrating to death doesn't seem very 'dignified' to me... I guess if you are mostly unconscious with drugs it might not be so bad. Just seems dumb though- why not just up the dosage of drugs and let the poor person drift off peacefully? Rather than keep them lingering on for days/ weeks?

If it's to do with religion, why doesn't it work in the reverse? 'God' is trying to kill us all the time with various illnesses. It's modern medicine that 'saves' us. Why isn't that considered 'wrong'? We're basically turning down God's invitation each time our life is prolonged. Some people wouldn't even be born without IVF. If it's ok to muck about with nature to prolongue life, why isn't it ok to peacefully end it?

 

[stilldreaming]

That's how my dad died but he had alzheimers and they gave him morphine. Hopefully the starvation/dehydration wasn't too uncomfortable. But yeah it's fucked up, they mostly want to drag shit out as long as possible for financial gain.

Watching my dad die on morphine didn't always look exactly comfortable. Not that he ever complained. My mother too after some major surgeries recently never complained. The older generations often just don't complain, and when you try to talk to them everything's always peachy keen. Having that problem now with another elderly relative, trying to get him to talk about some recent health problems is like pulling teeth. Nothing to worry about! He's staying active with his friends, don'tcha know? And that recent stay in the hospital was just an inconvenience, quickquick move on! :(

So that's what I thought about when reading the article and comments, because the view of the 'experience' was only informed by the observers. Anyone observing my mother in the hospital or after would've thought everything was fine, she can't complain about pain or discomfort and is always very cheery. But I remember walking into the hospital room, and seeing her lying there, her face pinched in pain and looking very pale - until I said hello and she opened her eyes and her face instantly transformed into happiness.

I'm not saying that this death by abstaining from food/water is horribly painful, because I do imagine the high level drugs help. But just because they help, doesn't mean they feel comfortable. And if they didn't feel comfortable, these types of people probably wouldn't let their loved ones know because they don't want us to worry.

I dunno, I just can't believe how withholding food/water can be seen as an acceptable way to kill our loved ones. They should be made as comfortable as possible, with whatever food and drink they can handle (my dad was really putting away the Trader Joe's chocolate truffles...). And then some humane poison to painlessly and quickly end things when they're ready. Why is this so difficult for the majority of Americans to agree with? :(

 

[アホペンギン]

This society is so hypocritical, its sickening. And the part regarding someone's dying mother really made me shed a tear, why did they have to deprive her of food and water? Just let her have euthanasia or something… And people had the audacity to say how nice it was of them to help her stop this suffering of growing old by literally making her suffer even more than she did before.. Its terrible. This really shows how assisted suicide should legalized throughout the world.

 

[stilldreaming]

Starving and dehydrating to death doesn't seem very 'dignified' to me... I guess if you are mostly unconscious with drugs it might not be so bad. Just seems dumb though- why not just up the dosage of drugs and let the poor person drift off peacefully? Rather than keep them lingering on for days/ weeks?

If it's to do with religion, why doesn't it work in the reverse? 'God' is trying to kill us all the time with various illnesses. It's modern medicine that 'saves' us. Why isn't that considered 'wrong'? We're basically turning down God's invitation each time our life is prolonged. Some people wouldn't even be born without IVF. If it's ok to muck about with nature to prolongue life, why isn't it ok to peacefully end it?

oooh perhaps that why Christian Scientists refuse modern medical treatment! I think I'd heard that they believed in treating illness only with prayer, since then then you're getting 'treated' by God (vs man with his man-made medicine). So you get cancer, you pray, you don't get better - you die because that's what God wants.

But yeah, it does seem utterly inexcusable that the medical establishment can very easily give these dying patients a painless way out, and instead they have to refuse to eat/drink. I'm still thinking about the chocolate truffles my dad was pounding away as he was dying, and don't like the thought he'd be denied that :(

This society is so hypocritical, its sickening. And the part regarding someone's dying mother really made me shed a tear, why did they have to deprive her of food and water? Just let her have euthanasia or something… And people had the audacity to say how nice it was of them to help her stop this suffering of growing old by literally making her suffer even more than she did before.. Its terrible. This really shows how assisted suicide should legalized throughout the world.

Absolutely. And considering the positive way the article framed it, it read like propaganda for this method (and, therefore, why there's no need to fight for euthanasia).

Now, I'm sure they'd argue a few things: these patients are very elderly and dying (so they'll die quicker than a young healthy person). Plus, they'll be on a heavy load of painkillers to help them feel better.

But just from witnessing what my dad went through on a heavy dose of morphine, erm didn't look all that great at times. 100% it was helping, but 'helping' doesn't mean 'getting rid of completely'.

And like I mentioned in another comment, giving him things like chocolate truffles or whatever the frick he wanted was a small thing but very very nice. I really hate the thought of having to deny him those last bits of pleasure. Though, I'm sure many dying people cease enjoying food, but if they still can, then great. (I still remember the hospice nurse explaining how they allow anything for eating, how pleasant - though painful - that was to hear.)

Society sucks. Because most people suck in some way. Most people I meet are so nice, but still, even though they're kind and polite to strangers, too many people hold regressive views that hold back society from advancing. Sad but true.

 

[Hollowman]

Watching my dad die on morphine didn't always look exactly comfortable. Not that he ever complained. My mother too after some major surgeries recently never complained. The older generations often just don't complain, and when you try to talk to them everything's always peachy keen. Having that problem now with another elderly relative, trying to get him to talk about some recent health problems is like pulling teeth. Nothing to worry about! He's staying active with his friends, don'tcha know? And that recent stay in the hospital was just an inconvenience, quickquick move on! :(

So that's what I thought about when reading the article and comments, because the view of the 'experience' was only informed by the observers. Anyone observing my mother in the hospital or after would've thought everything was fine, she can't complain about pain or discomfort and is always very cheery. But I remember walking into the hospital room, and seeing her lying there, her face pinched in pain and looking very pale - until I said hello and she opened her eyes and her face instantly transformed into happiness.

I'm not saying that this death by abstaining from food/water is horribly painful, because I do imagine the high level drugs help. But just because they help, doesn't mean they feel comfortable. And if they didn't feel comfortable, these types of people probably wouldn't let their loved ones know because they don't want us to worry.

I dunno, I just can't believe how withholding food/water can be seen as an acceptable way to kill our loved ones. They should be made as comfortable as possible, with whatever food and drink they can handle (my dad was really putting away the Trader Joe's chocolate truffles...). And then some humane poison to painlessly and quickly end things when they're ready. Why is this so difficult for the majority of Americans to agree with? :(

They didn't withhold food and water from him, he just stopped eating and drinking.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it so inhumane how assisted suicide isn't legalised and instead people have to die in such ways. It's just prolonging suffering so unnecessarily all for the sake of it.