W3akCr3atur3
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 358
There's an interesting Russian saying which roughly translates to "And when you thought things couldn't get any worse, there came a knocking sounds from down below". It describes a surprisingly bad event happening when you thought things couldn't get even worse.
And it just happened to me. My mental health had been fucked up since 2018 or so and it never truly got better. This year was bad enough already with mental breakdowns, loneliness, disappointment, you name it.
One night I decided to go out for a bike ride just to unwind. Long story short, I didn't notice steps, fell off the bike and broke my left elbow. Operation was successful and it's healing somewhat well, but I still can't completely bend or straighten my arm. And there's a decent chance I won't ever be able to. As well as putting it under any sort of pressure.
I hated my body and myself enough already and now I might be left with inferior arm which can't be put under any pressure and is pretty limited in movement.
If that happens, it might be enough to put me over the edge.
And it just happened to me. My mental health had been fucked up since 2018 or so and it never truly got better. This year was bad enough already with mental breakdowns, loneliness, disappointment, you name it.
One night I decided to go out for a bike ride just to unwind. Long story short, I didn't notice steps, fell off the bike and broke my left elbow. Operation was successful and it's healing somewhat well, but I still can't completely bend or straighten my arm. And there's a decent chance I won't ever be able to. As well as putting it under any sort of pressure.
I hated my body and myself enough already and now I might be left with inferior arm which can't be put under any pressure and is pretty limited in movement.
If that happens, it might be enough to put me over the edge.