Meretlein
Moderator
- Feb 15, 2019
- 1,200
I was browsing r/OCD and come upon this guide. I will link the original reddit thread at the bottom. I have OCD and a lot of this post resonated with me.
So I've had OCD since I was 12 years old (triggered by some trauma I have moved past), I was diagnosed at 17. If you are struggling with this disorder right now and your life is suffering for it, I can tell you I've been there and I want to share the things I've learned.
Every Obsession Has An End
So in chronological order I have had: religious-OCD (afraid of demonic possession), harm-OCD (afraid I secretly wanted to kill people), existential-OCD (afraid I was constantly in a dream/lucid dreaming), POCD (absolutely terrible and my longest obsession), morality-OCD (afraid I didn't have free will/ the philosophical concept of free will), obsession about having OCD (that one was a kick in the head lol), and hyperawareness-OCD (afraid I would never be able to stop focusing on thoughts about clocks/time/passage of time). EVERY ONE OF THESE OBSESSIONS HAS PASSED.
And its almost crazy to me now that I almost did something irreversible (you know what I mean) to end some of them . I was desperate and I just wanted them to stop. They are all so small and irreverent now its baffling to me I ever listened to them. There is always an end.
People Without OCD Won't Understand
My mother thought I was lying my whole childhood and forced me to take birth-control pills because it was "just my hormones" and I needed to "stop being selfish". Most people think its a qUiRkY XD thing where I like to order/color-code things or they tell me I'm just over-reacting at to "get over it". My fiancé had no idea what OCD was until he saw me go through my latest obsession. It scared the absolute living daylights out of him how quickly and severely it affected me, how much I changed. He decided to tell some people at his work how much we struggling during that time and they reacted with the whole "omg quirky" thing. It made him realize how much people really have no fucking idea and how much of a struggle it is for people with OCD and their supporters. I love him with all my heart.
OCD is A Child Not A Monster
I know many people describe OCD as something monstrous, but that's actually giving it wayyy too much power, it's actually more childlike. If a child is throwing a tantrum, begging you for attention, if you stop the child's behavior by giving the child the attention they want it only encourages them to do it again because they know they can push you around. That's OCD in a nutshell, a scared little child telling you about scary things they are afraid of and demanding you check the closet a million times. This child (like any in a tantrum) needs your attention to get what it wants. Ignoring this child's tantum and living your life as if you can't hear it's crying tells the child acting up that it's getting nowhere. Eventually the child will stop.
There Is NO Such Thing As Reassurance
I've wasted months of my life (maybe years at this point) worrying about my fears and trying to convince myself they are untrue. The thing is that even if I found "proof" my fear wasn't real, I then needed more "proof" to prove that first "proof" was true. If you engage with the thoughts you make them stronger. Don't do it. You'll live longer (in my case literally).
It's A Cycle
Everything about this disorder is cyclic, from the thoughts in the obsessions themselves to the fact that once you get rid of one obsession another takes its place. To realize the cycles, the patterns, and actively work to break them is the only way to get out.
Professional Therapy Is Supposed To Teach You The Tools You Need To Fight On Your Own
Therapy is the best treatment for OCD, PERIOD. Talk therapies (such as CBT) are the gold standard in treating this disorder. Talk therapies are short-term programs (usually about 12-weeks long) that give you professional support and tools to combat the disorder. LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR THERAPIST SAYS, because they can help you identify irrational thoughts and teach you the tools to deal with them on your own so you can continue on with LIFE.
There were definitely times I've needed to go back to the therapist to get a "refresher". Therapy for OCD is not long-term, so use that time you have to equip yourself. Most of the progress I made was outside the therapist's office with the tools they helped me develop.
If you don't have access to a therapist, please look up worksheets/resources/books about talk based therapies online and work through them: CBT, meta-cognitive behavioral therapy (my personal fav :) ), exposure-therapy, mindfulness and others. Different therapies will resonate with different people (I hate meditating, it never worked for me but it works for a lot of people) so please talk to a professional about your treatment options and don't be afraid to try different ones.
Medicine Helps But Is Not A Cure
Medicine for anxiety/depression tends to regulate extremes in brain chemicals (make the highs lower and the lows higher). That's it, doesn't do anything more than that. Medicine is a tool to allow you to better use techniques that you learned in therapy to regulate your emotions, not take them away entirely.
Cognitive tools to manage anxiety/depression need you to activate the thinking part of your brain, but if your brain is hocked up on fight-or-flight chemical, its makes reasoning like that more difficult to do (not impossible of course, just harder). Medicine is supposed to regulate these fight-or-flight reactions so its easier for you to access the thinking part of your brain, calm yourself and think logically.
(I know this tends to be a more sensitive/controversial topic especially in mental health spaces. Some people will need meds for the rest of their lives, others won't (like me), others will flat out not want to take them. There is no shame in needing meds, there is no shame in using them to get to a better place then decide to fly solo, there is no shame in wanting to recover without the use of meds and you should never be pressured by anyone to take them. If you are deciding to manage OCD without meds PLEASE exercise regularly and make sure your body gets enough sleep and nutrients. Exercise is a "natural antidepressant". The fight-or-flight response is a biological signal to your brain to do something physical, run or fight! Doing something physical (like work out or go for a walk) is therefore a great way to deal with this reaction in a safe/healthy way of course.)
Bottom Line
Everyone will have a different experience of this disorder, different therapies/meds will help, but the bottom line ...
OCD never wins, it will never win. There is an end. Stay strong and trust in your experience even if the others around you are too ignorant to understand.
So I've had OCD since I was 12 years old (triggered by some trauma I have moved past), I was diagnosed at 17. If you are struggling with this disorder right now and your life is suffering for it, I can tell you I've been there and I want to share the things I've learned.
Every Obsession Has An End
So in chronological order I have had: religious-OCD (afraid of demonic possession), harm-OCD (afraid I secretly wanted to kill people), existential-OCD (afraid I was constantly in a dream/lucid dreaming), POCD (absolutely terrible and my longest obsession), morality-OCD (afraid I didn't have free will/ the philosophical concept of free will), obsession about having OCD (that one was a kick in the head lol), and hyperawareness-OCD (afraid I would never be able to stop focusing on thoughts about clocks/time/passage of time). EVERY ONE OF THESE OBSESSIONS HAS PASSED.
And its almost crazy to me now that I almost did something irreversible (you know what I mean) to end some of them . I was desperate and I just wanted them to stop. They are all so small and irreverent now its baffling to me I ever listened to them. There is always an end.
People Without OCD Won't Understand
My mother thought I was lying my whole childhood and forced me to take birth-control pills because it was "just my hormones" and I needed to "stop being selfish". Most people think its a qUiRkY XD thing where I like to order/color-code things or they tell me I'm just over-reacting at to "get over it". My fiancé had no idea what OCD was until he saw me go through my latest obsession. It scared the absolute living daylights out of him how quickly and severely it affected me, how much I changed. He decided to tell some people at his work how much we struggling during that time and they reacted with the whole "omg quirky" thing. It made him realize how much people really have no fucking idea and how much of a struggle it is for people with OCD and their supporters. I love him with all my heart.
OCD is A Child Not A Monster
I know many people describe OCD as something monstrous, but that's actually giving it wayyy too much power, it's actually more childlike. If a child is throwing a tantrum, begging you for attention, if you stop the child's behavior by giving the child the attention they want it only encourages them to do it again because they know they can push you around. That's OCD in a nutshell, a scared little child telling you about scary things they are afraid of and demanding you check the closet a million times. This child (like any in a tantrum) needs your attention to get what it wants. Ignoring this child's tantum and living your life as if you can't hear it's crying tells the child acting up that it's getting nowhere. Eventually the child will stop.
There Is NO Such Thing As Reassurance
I've wasted months of my life (maybe years at this point) worrying about my fears and trying to convince myself they are untrue. The thing is that even if I found "proof" my fear wasn't real, I then needed more "proof" to prove that first "proof" was true. If you engage with the thoughts you make them stronger. Don't do it. You'll live longer (in my case literally).
It's A Cycle
Everything about this disorder is cyclic, from the thoughts in the obsessions themselves to the fact that once you get rid of one obsession another takes its place. To realize the cycles, the patterns, and actively work to break them is the only way to get out.
Professional Therapy Is Supposed To Teach You The Tools You Need To Fight On Your Own
Therapy is the best treatment for OCD, PERIOD. Talk therapies (such as CBT) are the gold standard in treating this disorder. Talk therapies are short-term programs (usually about 12-weeks long) that give you professional support and tools to combat the disorder. LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR THERAPIST SAYS, because they can help you identify irrational thoughts and teach you the tools to deal with them on your own so you can continue on with LIFE.
There were definitely times I've needed to go back to the therapist to get a "refresher". Therapy for OCD is not long-term, so use that time you have to equip yourself. Most of the progress I made was outside the therapist's office with the tools they helped me develop.
If you don't have access to a therapist, please look up worksheets/resources/books about talk based therapies online and work through them: CBT, meta-cognitive behavioral therapy (my personal fav :) ), exposure-therapy, mindfulness and others. Different therapies will resonate with different people (I hate meditating, it never worked for me but it works for a lot of people) so please talk to a professional about your treatment options and don't be afraid to try different ones.
Medicine Helps But Is Not A Cure
Medicine for anxiety/depression tends to regulate extremes in brain chemicals (make the highs lower and the lows higher). That's it, doesn't do anything more than that. Medicine is a tool to allow you to better use techniques that you learned in therapy to regulate your emotions, not take them away entirely.
Cognitive tools to manage anxiety/depression need you to activate the thinking part of your brain, but if your brain is hocked up on fight-or-flight chemical, its makes reasoning like that more difficult to do (not impossible of course, just harder). Medicine is supposed to regulate these fight-or-flight reactions so its easier for you to access the thinking part of your brain, calm yourself and think logically.
(I know this tends to be a more sensitive/controversial topic especially in mental health spaces. Some people will need meds for the rest of their lives, others won't (like me), others will flat out not want to take them. There is no shame in needing meds, there is no shame in using them to get to a better place then decide to fly solo, there is no shame in wanting to recover without the use of meds and you should never be pressured by anyone to take them. If you are deciding to manage OCD without meds PLEASE exercise regularly and make sure your body gets enough sleep and nutrients. Exercise is a "natural antidepressant". The fight-or-flight response is a biological signal to your brain to do something physical, run or fight! Doing something physical (like work out or go for a walk) is therefore a great way to deal with this reaction in a safe/healthy way of course.)
Bottom Line
Everyone will have a different experience of this disorder, different therapies/meds will help, but the bottom line ...
OCD never wins, it will never win. There is an end. Stay strong and trust in your experience even if the others around you are too ignorant to understand.
