An apology

[BipolarGuy]

I would like to make an apology to somebody who I treated unfairly on this forum.
We did speak about whether I should make a public apology or not, and it was her who originally suggested that I should, and I have decided to do so.

This person originally messaged me on here to say that she really likes my posts.
Around a month later I found myself making the 1,300km journey across Europe to see her!
A thread was created to document our time together in her country, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
We got on like a house on fire. I'm sure she would agree.

But over the past few days we have both experienced especially poor mental health, mine perhaps having played out more publicly over the weekend.
I was one of the people who talked her out of SN overdose on Friday night (which I'm not sure if anybody on here knew about until now!) and she was one of the people who talked me out of it on Saturday.

Although our diagnoses are different, we both have issues that effect our emotional stability.

However I did say things on this forum that were unfair and out of character, and there is no excuse for this.
This is a public apology to her.

Things were said off this site to each other on both sides, which were extremely hurtful, and I do fear that a minority have made a judgement only on what they have seen even though what was said to me wasn't seen. Neither of us are perfect.
I do not wish to share what she said to me as it wouldn't serve a legitimate purpose.
This doesn't excuse what I said though.

I apologise.

We no longer have contact as I believe this is the best for both of us.
But I genuinely wish her well.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I had imagined something of this nature might have happened. It's none of my business, though. I would always applaud a heartfelt apology. I hope you are both okay with things.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I had imagined something of this nature might have happened. It's none of my business, though. I would always applaud a heartfelt apology. I hope you are both okay with things.

We got on like a house on fire, as I said.
It was the first time I felt happy in years. Not just less depressed, but happy.

I don't want to talk for her, but this person has told me that she hasn't laughed as much as she laughed when we were together last weekend.

It is a possibility that when we're feeling good we lift each other up but when we both feel bad we drag each other down.
I'm just hypothesising though.

Bipolar (me) and Borderline Personality Disorder (her) is an interesting mix.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Bipolar (me) and Borderline Personality Disorder (her) is an interesting mix.

I can see that being an interesting mix, certainly.

 

[StuFin]

This is what I mean about being manipulative.

You make a point of how far YOU travelled to see her, how much effort YOU put in.

Then, in your apology say " Neither of us are perfect" AND cast aspersions on her mental health AND talk about her wanting to ctb!

So you're expecting her to share equal blame with you, in your apology.

If I apologise to someone for being out of order I apologise, I don't apologise then blame the other person.

I'm sorry, but you sir are so full of your own steam that you can't see beyond the end of your own nose.

 

[BipolarGuy]

This is what I mean about being manipulative.

You make a point of how far YOU travelled to see her, how much effort YOU put in.

Then, in your apology say " Neither of us are perfect. "

So you're expecting her to share equal blame with you, in your apology.

If I apologise to someone for being out of order I apologise, I don't apologise then blame the other person.

I'm sorry, but you sir are so full of your own steam that you can't see beyond the end of your own nose.

Look, I'm going to have to accept the simple fact that nothing I say is going to be good enough for you.
I can see this already.

I didn't say she put in no effort. She did.
She drove 200km to see me in her capital city where she really wasn't comfortable driving as she has only been driving I think less than 2 years.

Don't look too much into everything mate.
Genuine advice.
When I referred to my flight and all that I was just making the point that our friendship had taken off quickly.

And I'm not blaming her for my actions.
I apologise(d) unreservedly:

[...]
However I did say things on this forum that were unfair and out of character, and there is no excuse for this.
This is a public apology to her.
[...]
I do not wish to share what she said to me as it wouldn't serve a legitimate purpose.
This doesn't excuse what I said though.
[...]
I apologise.

Good luck in your relationship with her.

 

[StuFin]

Look, I'm going to have to accept the simple fact that nothing I say is going to be good enough for you.
I can see this already.

I didn't say she put in no effort. She did.
She drove 200km to see me in her capital city where she really wasn't comfortable driving as she has only been driving I think less than 2 years.

Don't look too much into everything mate.
Genuine advice.
When I referred to my flight and all that I was just making the point that our friendship had taken off quickly.

And I'm not blaming her for my actions.
I apologise(d) unreservedly:

So stop talking about her and trying to pull her into your drama.

You made you choices, you said your words, so you take responsibility for it and leave her alone.

And it's not about "being good enough for me" - I don't know you from Adam and I don't give 2 hoots what you do or say, but that very statement - "nothing I do will ever be good enough for you" is exactly the kind of manipulative BS that manipulators use, and anyone who has ever dealt with one will see it and recognise it.

 

[BipolarGuy]

So stop talking about her and trying to pull her into your drama.

You made you choices, you said your words, so you take responsibility for it and leave her alone.

Oh Jesus Christ, this is an apology thread!

Would you like me to coach you socially?


Open goal there, go for it......


Perhaps somebody else could PLEASE.

And it's not about "being good enough for me" - I don't know you from Adam and I don't give 2 hoots what you do or say, but that very statement - "nothing I do will ever be good enough for you" is exactly the kind of manipulative BS that manipulators use, and anyone who has ever dealt with one will see it and recognise it.

Just seen this edit.

Ok buddy, no worries.

As I said, nothing I ever say will be good enough.
But that's OK, because it's not you I'm focusing on.

 

[StuFin]

Yes no.3 - ridicule.

Oh my God I'll need to coach you socially - really - you?

It's not an apology when you try to blame the other person.

 

[BipolarGuy]

Yes no.3 - ridicule.

Oh my God I'll need to coach you socially - really - you?

It's not an apology when you try to blame the other person.

@sanctionedsuicide
How many times do I have to ask for this to be dealt with?
Everybody could see how unreasonable this person was being on the thread on Saturday and again today.

 

[StuFin]

Disagreeing with you and calling you out for who you really are isn't a bannable offence, it's a public service message to save vulnerable people from you.

Perhaps the mods could get clarification for Mahakali about whose who and what's what if there is really any doubt?

 

[BipolarGuy]

Disagreeing with you and calling you out for who you really are isn't a bannable offence, it's a public service message to save vulnerable people from you.

Perhaps the mods could get clarification for Mahakali about whose who and what's what if there is really any doubt?

If the moderators wish I am more than happy to share some of the things that were said over WhatsApp.....
Perhaps that would add a bit of balance.

Anyway, you are now on ignore.
I will not have you hound me for something you know little about.

 

[StuFin]

Okay mahakali has asked me by PM to tell you that you are not a couple, you are not involved, so to leave her alone.

Mods feel free to trawl my messages.