Venting An apology to my beloved cat.

[Cyber4ngel!]

My most sincere apologies to my beautiful kitty, my ray of sunshine, the living being that loves me the most and the only one that truly does so without ulterior motives.

I'm sorry for the times you had to listen to me cry all night.

I'm sorry for all the panic attacks you saw me have and for the times I pushed you away and shouted at you to leave me alone when you just wanted to comfort me.

I'm sorry for waking you up from your nap to hug you and seek comfort.

I'm so sorry for making you witness your mom covered in blood and hurting herself; I'm sorry for getting angry when you tried to take the blade from my hands with your little paw.

I'm sorry for making you hear me scream that I want to die.

I'm sorry for taking so long to figure out who to leave you with when I'm no longer in this world, even knowing that there is no one in this world you could love more than me, knowing that you distrust and fear any face that isn't mine.

I'm sorry for taking longer than I should to refill your food and water bowl; I don't want you to go hungry, but sometimes I can't move from the bed.

I'm sorry for going weeks without cleaning your litter box; we both hate the smell, I know. I'm sorry for getting angry when you go outside the box, knowing it's my fault for not cleaning it more often; I just don't have the energy.

I'm sorry for not having a clean room for you; I'm sorry you have to live in a dirty place that smells like cigarette smoke, Im sorry that you have to walk on my clothes scattered on the floor.

I'm sorry for not playing with you more often; I love watching you play and would love to spend more time together; but you have too much energy.

I'm sorry for not letting you socialize more with other cats; I would love to see you get along with them.

I'm sorry for not cooking you homemade food like I said I would; I don't have money even to feed myself.

I'm sorry for not being the best mom for you; I want you to know that you will always be the sweetest kitty in the world to me; you never did anything wrong, you don't deserve all this.

I love you with all my soul and being; I wish I could be better and not have to leave you alone and scared when I'm not with you. If the day ever comes when I'm not present, I hope you can be happy and well taken care of; I hope you can forgive me.

I see you lying on my legs while I write this, and it's as if you know what I'm thinking; lately, you don't want to leave me alone for even five minutes; I know you must be worried about your mom.

My heart breaks for you; I don't know how to apologize to you anymore. I will love you for the rest of my life, my beautiful chubby kitty; thank you for being the best cat that can exist in this world and for loving me unconditionally. I love you Manchitas

Sincerely, your mum.

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

 

[horrorvacui]

I don't want to leave my little fluffball, Bean, alone either. She may not be the snuggliest little cat I've owned, but I would hope for one of my best friends to hopefully take her since they love her as much as I do.

I don't want to project my thoughts onto you, but if you do decide to ctb, please try your very best to find your cat a warm and comforting home before making the decision. That's what I'm planning on doing before departing, even if it's a bunch of alarm bells to my friends that something is up.

 

[kyhoti]

I'm so glad I was able to re-home my sweet chonker. She kept me alive through COVID lockdown. At least she won't be alone when I'm gone.

 

[Steff1337]

My cats will be taken care of by my mom when I die.

 

[piccola anima]

Io ho infinitamente terrore per il mio piccolo principe a 4 zampe. Vorrei trovasse qualcuno che lo ami come lo amo io