Discussion AMA Former CTB Chat Volunteer

[NodusTollens]

As the title suggests, I previously volunteered with a helpline for ppl thinking about CTB, for a year. Everyone I worked with, was a volunteer.

Doing so as part of my schooling, I chose this option, to (1) see what this aspect of MH support was like, but (2) wanting to support others who thought like me bc I understood wanting to CTB.

- I did not have a script: We must only as 3 questions to confirm current action & whether immediate medical intervention is required
*Are you thinking about CTB?
*When was the last time you thought about CTB? (To establish a pattern)
*Have you done anything to currently harm yourself?

- CTB Helplines are triage services: their job is not to solve your issue, merely to hear you out & get enough info to support you, (more "effective" if you're acutely suicidal) & connect you with a service that can support you. (These are regular people, not trained therapists)

 

[lookingtoendit]

Did anyone ever ctb whilst you were on the phone to them? what was the protocol if that happened?

 

[NodusTollens]

Did anyone ever ctb whilst you were on the phone to them? what was the protocol if that happened?

No.

I did have a few people who would fully describe being on a bridge, & tell me they were going to jump.

When I would try to ask what was bothering them to try to see if I could help, they would cut me off, tell me how their breaking bones would feel hitting the ground, how I could do nothing to help them, then disconnect the chat

BS. I will not say what I think of those who support such a despicable policy or group, but I never want to see your name again. Ignore is a handy button.

Bye.

 

[lookingtoendit]

is this Samaritans?

 

[NodusTollens]

is this Samaritans?

No. I am not in Europe.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Bye.

kill em with kindness? i dont even understand commenting if thats all they had to say. or even why just because you worked there and specifically said

see what this aspect of MH support was like

more "effective" if you're acutely suicidal

this much i did expect however. it didnt seem to be a system for people who've had a really rough go at life.

ok then if its not a script, how does it go after those 3 questions?

 

[bornfree]

i assume they're geared towards suicide prevention by which I mean preventing successful suicide. I am sure there might be a few who genuinely care about suicidal individuals but I assume most believe in the prevention of suicide.

It beggars believe that those who work on these lines don't support the legalisation of assisted suicide. They hear from suicidal individuals in pain and it is good they try to listen but when they're not recognising the beyond awfulness of feeling suicidal then they're not fighting for protection and care such as assisted suicide. They hear from so many suicidal individuals in pain but they're not feeling the pain so they're not supporting the choice of suicidal individuals to end the pain.

 

[NodusTollens]

kill em with kindness? i dont even understand commenting if thats all they had to say. or even why just because you worked there and specifically said


this much i did expect however. it didnt seem to be a system for people who've had a really rough go at life.

ok then if its not a script, how does it go after those 3 questions?

After asking the three questions, it just becomes a conversation. The thing is, if you've never been suicidal, you have NO IDEA what to say. So there are people who say the BS wornoutlife heard (which, smh, is absolutely maddening), bc they genuinely do believe they are helping.

 

[Life_and_Death]

After asking the three questions, it just becomes a conversation. The thing is, if you've never been suicidal, you have NO IDEA what to say. So there are people who say the BS wornoutlife heard (which, smh, is absolutely maddening), bc they genuinely do believe they are helping.

i can understand not knowing what to say but...idk.....shouldnt there be a suicidal person or recovery person or something to give guidelines to say "that doesnt actually help try this.."

 

[NodusTollens]

i assume they're geared towards suicide prevention by which I mean preventing successful suicide. I am sure there might be a few who genuinely care about suicidal individuals but I assume most believe in the prevention of suicide.

It beggars believe that those who work on these lines don't support the legalisation of assisted suicide. They hear from suicidal individuals in pain and it is good they try to listen but when they're not recognising the beyond awfulness of feeling suicidal then they're not fighting for protection and care such as assisted suicide. They hear from so many suicidal individuals in pain but they're not feeling the pain so they're not supporting the choice of suicidal individuals to end the pain.

I'm not going to speculate, I only tell you about the people I worked with.

i can understand not knowing what to say but...idk.....shouldnt there be a suicidal person or recovery person or something to give guidelines to say "that doesnt actually help try this.."

Well I mean, I agree- but you have to think of the liability an agency would take on, having a known suicidal person on staff.

Let me put it this way, I was often thanked for my ability to listen & support. I am a person who has been suicidal since I was a child.

 

[Kruger]

What is your motive for being here?

 

[justsad&done]

Were most of the people you spoke to truly asking for help because they didn't want to actually kill themselves? I'm asking because to me these are two different things...some people want to CTB and it is their choice, and other people may have suicidal thoughts because of medications they are on, but they are seeking help because they don't really want to follow through on those thoughts.

 

[Life_and_Death]

some people want to CTB and it is their choice

considering you mentioned meds in the next part of your question i want to ask you, what about people that have chosen to ctb but dont actually want to like myself?

 

[NodusTollens]

What is your motive for being here?

On SS? To find like-minded people, to support others if they need it & to not be eaten alive by my suicidal thoughts.

& this is why I never wanted to share this info. I mention volunteering for a year & suddenly my motives are in question.

 

[Maka hiamoe]

Do you think CTB helplines are helpful for suicidal people ? What do you think they could do better ?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Well I mean, I agree- but you have to think of the liability an agency would take on, having a known suicidal person on staff.

Let me put it this way, I was often thanked for my ability to listen & support. I am a person who has been suicidal since I was a child.

yes, i can understand their would be a liability but its also like you said you were often thanked and as we saw in the other thread (im sorry id tag you but im really bad with online names and have to double check a million times even when the name is right there)......isnt this kind of the needs of many out weight the needs of one. that one suicidal person could help so many other simply by giving insight.

I literally feel sick to my stomach...

then why are you still reading this thread?

 

[Deleted member 23374]

@UnaccompaniedJourney do/did you ever take on the weight of those experiences ?
If so does it become part of you, or how do you manage to shake it off ?
It's true that checking out does collateral damage, i'm looking for something
to say in my note i guess.

 

[NodusTollens]

Were most of the people you spoke to truly asking for help because they didn't want to actually kill themselves? I'm asking because to me these are two different things...some people want to CTB and it is their choice, and other people may have suicidal thoughts because of medications they are on, but they are seeking help because they don't really want to follow through on those thoughts.

Most, it seemed so. I could only work with the info I was given. Most often I spoke with teens, but usually between the ages of 14 - 24.

Yes, I agree. I support assisted suicide & a person's right to suicide (I don't say commit bc I don't believe it should be regarded as a crime). Especially since I myself have many attempts under my belt.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Were most of the people you spoke to truly asking for help because they didn't want to actually kill themselves? I'm asking because to me these are two different things...some people want to CTB and it is their choice, and other people may have suicidal thoughts because of medications they are on, but they are seeking help because they don't really want to follow through on those thoughts.

The people who volunteer for such phone lines lie through their teeth. Why would listen to such a low life?

 

[lookingtoendit]

They do not listen. They do not care. They are there, on the phones for extra credits...try calling any of those lines, and you will know in less than 5 minutes of talking that they are NOT there to help...Those who use the sorrow and suffering of others for their own aggrandizement disgust me. I literally feel sick to my stomach...

Why do you assume every person who works for one of these lines is doing it for their own aggrandisement? Because I really don't think that's the case.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I don't say commit bc I don't believe it should be regarded as a crime

i dont see that word as a crime though. commit.....commitment, it just means that youre committed to doing something and after you do it well....then you committed suicide

 

[Deleted member 1768]

yes, i can understand their would be a liability but its also like you said you were often thanked and as we saw in the other thread (im sorry id tag you but im really bad with online names and have to double check a million times even when the name is right there)......isnt this kind of the needs of many out weight the needs of one. that one suicidal person could help so many other simply by giving insight.

then why are you still reading this thread?

I am reading the answers because it showed in 'alerts'. I have already put them on ignore, and I have been sickened by the behaviour of others before, no doubt I will be again. Hard for me to fathom your belief in what they say. A liar lies, and anyone who volunteers on one of those so-called 'help lines' has to lie in order to do their job. As for giving 'insight'? Surely you jest. They are told what to say period, and they say it. If you do not like what I do or say please put me on ignore. Thank you.

 

[botanormal]

Thank you for sharing this with us, and for offering to answer our questions! I think many people who sign up to work for these organisations are doing so because they want to help, even if it might not always work. I appreciate you sharing your experiences.

My question is, what are your opinions on suicide prevention hotlines? Do you think your opinion has changed since you started working there? Did joining this site change your opinion at all? Thank you!

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Why do you assume every person who works for one of these lines is doing it for their own aggrandisement? Because I really don't think that's the case.

Not an assumption. I was at one point going to volunteer.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I am reading the answers because it showed in 'alerts'. I have already put them on ignore, and I have been sickened by the behaviour of others before, no doubt I will be again. Hard for me to fathom your belief in what they say. A liar lies, and anyone who volunteers on one of those so-called 'help lines' has to lie in order to do their job. As for giving 'insight'? Surely you jest. They are told what to say period, and they say it. If you do not like what I do or say please put me on ignore. Thank you.

dont worry i did :)

 

[Deleted member 1768]

dont worry i did :)

Good.

 

[NodusTollens]

considering you mentioned meds in the next part of your question i want to ask you, what about people that have chosen to ctb but dont actually want to like myself?

I found most who called/chatted where overwhelmed with acute ideation, no plan, & no means. Unfortunately, these services are limited by the crap health care systems with year(s) long waits. I waited 2 years for public therapy

Do you think CTB helplines are helpful for suicidal people ? What do you think they could do better ?

Honestly, I think they have potential, I think the issue is that they don't know what to say, and the government has them tied up in SO MUCH red tape bc suicidal is still illegal. If things were different, and the government didn't have it set up so that anybody who mentions CTB will automatically be taken, & assisted suicide were accessible to everyon. I feel like there would be a lot more openness from both parties (individual & responder) about their plans & words used to support.

 

[justsad&done]

considering you mentioned meds in the next part of your question i want to ask you, what about people that have chosen to ctb but dont actually want to like myself?

I don't understand your question.
Meds may be a reason someone has suicidal thoughts. There are countless other reasons. Some people choose to ctb because of these countless reasons - but may not want to - it's what things have unfortunately come to.

 

[NodusTollens]

i dont see that word as a crime though. commit.....commitment, it just means that youre committed to doing something and after you do it well....then you committed suicide

Fair, though I find that statement usually comes from people who look down on suicide. I'm glad you're different, no one should be shamed for wanting to CTB

Thank you for sharing this with us, and for offering to answer our questions! I think many people who sign up to work for these organisations are doing so because they want to help, even if it might not always work. I appreciate you sharing your experiences.

My question is, what are your opinions on suicide prevention hotlines? Do you think your opinion has changed since you started working there? Did joining this site change your opinion at all? Thank you!

Glad I could help. :)

Prior to joining them, I had never used the service. As a child I kept bringing home a helpline number from school, but my abusive parent would throw it out. So I always had this thought, "pfft- these people can't help me." Especially once I moved away from home, I thought I would feel better- nope.

Since working there, my opinion of these services has expanded, neither good, nor bad- but heavily flawed. I believe they have potential if you remove the bureaucratic red tape, and remove automatic holds for talking about CTB. That & if the services they referred you to ACTUALLY had the capacity to help: shorter wait times to access counselling/therapy, meds ONLY if the person wants (in lieu of relying on them). Though one key thing I've noticed is the inability to support long term desires to CTB.

Many people aren't aware, but I have been using SS since Reddit. Volunteering with that Organization came during my last attempt to "get better." This is simply a newer account, I self banned my last one.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I'm glad you're different

lol thnx? thats a first XD