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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
I asked for advice on mumsnet which is a British online forum for mothers. I thought because it was a mother's fourms the women would be more understanding however the mums just viciously builled me.

I finally started to believe I got the father I always wanted all these years but now I realise I was wrong. Rescently I have come to realisation my stepfather will never love me the way he does with his stepsons.My stepfathers only child is a 8yr old boy from a previous relationship. His son has two older teenage brothers (16-17). When it comes to his teenage stepsons my stepfather he treats his stepsons like they are his actual sons.He does everything for them and is currently more involved in their lives than his with mine . There so many examples of the blatant favouritism and deep commitment my stepfather shows his sons but doesn't do the same for me. Other family members have noticed this. I am invisible to him.

I asked the mothers for advice on how to deal with the realisation my stepfather will never love me like a daughter.
The responses where
" grow up you are adult"
" your stepfather has been in those boys lives longer than yours deal with it "
" immature "
I was also called "entitled "

Am I wrong for wanting to be loved?
 
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Jack4230

Jack4230

Lame
Sep 8, 2019
83
I'm so sorry but you absolutely deserve to be loved just as much as everyone else
 
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K

Ken Ough

Member
Jan 28, 2021
25
The "society" decides what's right or wrong. And as "society" is just a combination of different groups based on similar worldview, you should decide which group you'd like to listen to. I doubt you need to hear the advice from British Karens.
Though the adjective "entitled" is used too much to simply brush it off. I believe the majority of people think this way.
 
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Panna

Panna

Enlightened
Aug 31, 2020
1,005
Of course not, being loved is something everyone deserves. It isn't entitlement to want something that should be universal. The real shame is his inability to show love to his daughter regardless of -step or anything else. That is a wonderful thing to be apart of and it should be valued more highly.
 
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Pluto

Pluto

Cat Extremist
Dec 27, 2020
4,861
Your desire for love is perfectly valid, but we cannot ever ask any particular person to love us. This is where the British Karens are hinting at a valid point.

My biological father neglected and rejected me in exactly the same way as your stepfather. But he felt so much love for total outsiders, leaving me jealous and bitter. Over a long period of time, I learned that I can never persuade him to care about me, nor manipulate him with guilt. He simply will never love me.

Your best bet is to give up on him and see if there are other friendships or relationships on your pathway to be a part of your healing.
 
Midgardsorm

Midgardsorm

Paragon
Apr 28, 2020
917
The lack of empathy of people never fails to amaze me. I guess toxicity is more common than ever these days, not that isn't already were.

You're absolutely not wrong for wanting to be loved. Biological or not, it's expected from a father to love his daughter.
We could understand things like "Reminding him of past relationships of your mom or his prior relationships" but that is not an excuse, it's something that he, as a father, should work on it.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
I'm so sorry but you absolutely deserve to be loved just as much as everyone else
Jack4230 I am just upset because I believed a mother's fourms would be more understanding and the least judgemental. We are always told women are caring and empathic .There many step families nowadays in the modern age we are living in. The forum users are so open about issues in their lives so I naturally I assumed I would be just OK in such spaces

The most hurtful comments were the ones saying he "has been in their lives longer so he is their stepfather " and "not yours". It's not fair because my stepfather stepsons will see their father again whereas I will never see my father again. The boys dad lives aboard and the boys rescently contacted their father . They know where their father is . My father doesn't even contact me and just doesn't care about me.

My stepfather lives with my family and his stepsons live much further away however he is doing so much for them.

I hate this world it is full of mean judgemental people. When I reach out all I get is treated badly. I didn't kill myself living in this world killed me. I am too sensitive, empathic to be living in this world.
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
974
You're not wrong. We all want to be loved, but only a few will reciprocate and the feeling of not being loved makes us feel empty.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
Your desire for love is perfectly valid, but we cannot ever ask any particular person to love us. This is where the British Karens are hinting at a valid point.

My biological father neglected and rejected me in exactly the same way as your stepfather. But he felt so much love for total outsiders, leaving me jealous and bitter. Over a long period of time, I learned that I can never persuade him to care about me, nor manipulate him with guilt. He simply will never love me.

Your best bet is to give up on him and see if there are other friendships or relationships on your pathway to be a part of your healing.
Pluto sorry to hear that and I will take your advice.

He does everything for them this is what makes me cry and so furious. When his stepsons are having problems in their lives he more active in trying to help them whereas he is just passive and at times distant when it comes to myself and my other immediate family . When his stepsons when they are are arguing with their mother he is involved in trying to resolve it by talking to the mum and other people to resolve the problem. Rescently he completely forgot about my mother birthday as he was trying to fix a conflict his stepsons were having with their mother.

My stepfather shows more interest in what is happening in their lives in general compared to myself. He will would want to know what is happening in the boys school. When his stepson uploads a YouTube music video he quick to tell everyone in across his family and my own. He even drove his stepson and his friends to film a music video.
My teenage sister even said " he doesn't even make the effort to know us he knows nothing about me"

He lives with my family but he is always running after his stepsons who live further away.

I am just so upset because I will NEVER see my father again whereas these boys can see theirs even in the future.The boys father lives in the USA. The boys recently even talked to their father on the phone . My stepfather does so much for them and is so heavily involved their lives like a father for boys who already have one.

He doesn't know the real person I truly am.
The "society" decides what's right or wrong. And as "society" is just a combination of different groups based on similar worldview, you should decide which group you'd like to listen to. I doubt you need to hear the advice from British Karens.
Though the adjective "entitled" is used too much to simply brush it off. I believe the majority of people think this way.
Riley Qolar I thought a mother's fourms would be the least judgemental place ever but all everyone did was make feel bad. The comments have broken me . I have spent my whole being rejected and excluded by women especially in a group. I was builled by a group of girls at school, my friendship group who was a group of girls at school just said mean things when I was not around and excluded me from things, I struggle to relate to most women my age as I have not experienced what they have in their lives.
I was a born a female but I feel like a total outsider in the sex group I was born in.

Then the site bans me. I can't login anymore.
 
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WaterHemlock

WaterHemlock

Student
Dec 18, 2019
112
No, you deserve to be loved.
There could be any number of reasons for your stepfathers behavior, but none of them relate to your value.
It's not your fault that you want to be loved. It's a basic human need and you deserve it.
The sad thing I'd that you can never make people love you like they should. You didn't create this problem, but it's left to you to fix it.
You have to make a family of choice, one that's more worthy of YOU.
Good luck.
 
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Marktheghost

Marktheghost

Paragon
Feb 20, 2020
911
No you're not wrong for wanting to be loved.
 
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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,801
A lot (if not the majority) of mothers on that site had their children for the wrong reasons. You can sense the smugness dripping from all of their gossipy posts on that cesspool. MumsNet is more like MumsInferno tbh.

I am disappointed but not surprised they treated you this way. The cultural attitudes of stiff upper lip, individualism, and "just get over it" are alive and well in that toxic waste dump, despite the assumption one would make that the user base would be compromised of caring and compassionate parents.

I bet the same people who are calling you entitled for wanting love (which at this point the 'term' entitled might as well be a throwaway moniker imo, because it has completely lost its meaning and is being used as a petty insult for the most part) are the ones who barely give their own children any attention and leave them sitting alone in front of the TV and the tablet for ages.

It is not morally wrong whatsoever to desire love, especially from someone whom you have to share a home with. Your stepfather should be a bit guilty that he has engendered a bias for his faraway sons whilst ignoring his daughter who is right in front of him.

The fact that these people would ban and silence you for seeking legitimate advice, whilst allowing endless circlejerks about their "annoying children", husbands, and teachers speaks volumes about the character of your average MumsNet jannie.
 
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Sra_TZ

Sra_TZ

Walking Disaster
Mar 6, 2021
65
Love is a human need, like water or food. The sad part is not everyone receives it.
My biological father left before I was born and I spent much of my teen years trying to get in touch with him or do things thinking that he'll come back for me. He never did and I realised too late that my love is too precious to waste on people like him.
I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your experience on MumsNet although I have never personally used the site. Wanting to be loved is the farthest thing from wrong, especially from someone who is supposed to play the role of a father.
Learn to spend your love on those who'll love you back. I found that love in a best friend, you may find it in someone else.. :heart:

Either way, I wish you peace and best of luck.
~S
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
A lot (if not the majority) of mothers on that site had their children for the wrong reasons. You can sense the smugness dripping from all of their gossipy posts on that cesspool. MumsNet is more like MumsInferno tbh.

I am disappointed but not surprised they treated you this way. The cultural attitudes of stiff upper lip, individualism, and "just get over it" are alive and well in that toxic waste dump, despite the assumption one would make that the user base would be compromised of caring and compassionate parents.

I bet the same people who are calling you entitled for wanting love (which at this point the 'term' entitled might as well be a throwaway moniker imo, because it has completely lost its meaning and is being used as a petty insult for the most part) are the ones who barely give their own children any attention and leave them sitting alone in front of the TV and the tablet for ages.

It is not morally wrong whatsoever to desire love, especially from someone whom you have to share a home with. Your stepfather should be a bit guilty that he has engendered a bias for his faraway sons whilst ignoring his daughter who is right in front of him.

The fact that these people would ban and silence you for seeking legitimate advice, whilst allowing endless circlejerks about their "annoying children", husbands, and teachers speaks volumes about the character of your average MumsNet jannie.

A lot (if not the majority) of mothers on that site had their children for the wrong reasons. You can sense the smugness dripping from all of their gossipy posts on that cesspool. MumsNet is more like MumsInferno tbh.

I am disappointed but not surprised they treated you this way. The cultural attitudes of stiff upper lip, individualism, and "just get over it" are alive and well in that toxic waste dump, despite the assumption one would make that the user base would be compromised of caring and compassionate parents.

I bet the same people who are calling you entitled for wanting love (which at this point the 'term' entitled might as well be a throwaway moniker imo, because it has completely lost its meaning and is being used as a petty insult for the most part) are the ones who barely give their own children any attention and leave them sitting alone in front of the TV and the tablet for ages.

It is not morally wrong whatsoever to desire love, especially from someone whom you have to share a home with. Your stepfather should be a bit guilty that he has engendered a bias for his faraway sons whilst ignoring his daughter who is right in front of him.

The fact that these people would ban and silence you for seeking legitimate advice, whilst allowing endless circlejerks about their "annoying children", husbands, and teachers speaks volumes about the character of your average MumsNet jannie.
We are always told women are caring and supportive but whenever I have gone on a female dominated online forum asking for advice all I receive is nothing but hostility and pure bullying behaviour from the women on the fourms. This happened to me again whenever I went on a depression fourm during lockdown. See story here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...i-received-was-judgement-and-hostility.64844/

I still shocked at the vile bullying comments especially this one . " Why are you sending fathers day to them I don't send fathers day to my mums partner" and another user said " it's inappropriate " that I send my stepfather fathers day cards.

The fact my stepfather does everything for his stepsons who live much further away it's like he is still tied to his ex gf and not making the effort to know and bond with my own family that he is now a part of. This is one of many reasons I am still upset.

Amoung these women who were vile towards me they are likely to have children who are my age or stepchildren or some other mixed dynamic. I posted even the step parents I still received the same vile and bullying treatment.

How they feel if their children living in their household had the feelings I have and people were being judgemental towards their children.

I noticed SOME women who are much older ie 40+ have this hatred and lack of empathy towards women in their 20s. Why do some older women especially those who are married with children turn out to be so cruel towards younger women who are struggling through life.
No, you deserve to be loved.
There could be any number of reasons for your stepfathers behavior, but none of them relate to your value.
It's not your fault that you want to be loved. It's a basic human need and you deserve it.
The sad thing I'd that you can never make people love you like they should. You didn't create this problem, but it's left to you to fix it.
You have to make a family of choice, one that's more worthy of YOU.
Good luck.
WaterHemlock I love your profile picture. Lilo and stitch was my favourite Disney programme when I was a child. I seen the Lilo and Stitch movies and TV programmes as a child. I even had a Stitch toy.

You are right I can't make people love me. Take care your profile picture made my day. I just love it
 
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LONE WOLF.

LONE WOLF.

PUNISHER.
Nov 4, 2020
1,990
I don't know what Love is in 2021? it was so different when l was growing up and society wasn't such a judgemental place! Then Social media came along and proper fucked everything up Royally! Nark Fuckersburk You're a Twat!
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
You're not wrong. We all want to be loved, but only a few will reciprocate and the feeling of not being loved makes us feel empty.
Stablewater the worst comments were the ones telling me to "grow up" and " seek therapy". I was even criticised for living with my parents.

It's is so insulting because therapy is for people who have suffered serious trauma ie abuse and real hardship. I have a privileged life compared to most I don't need therapy. The people on the site have no medical qualifications and I find irresponsible for someone who has no qualifications in psychology/psychiatry to make such an assessment that I should seek therapy. People just throw the word therapy because they are too lazy to give meaningful helpful advice to people.
I don't know what Love is in 2021? it was so different when l was growing up and society wasn't such a judgemental place! Then Social media came along and proper fucked everything up Royally! Nark Fuckersburk You're a Twat!
Lonewolf Virtual hug for you :)
My family would say the world is becoming more evil and a horrible place and how life in their generation was better. I disagree with my family whenever they say this. I said to my family " the world was ALWAYS evil we have just become more aware of evil the world truly is". My family and the older generation get shocked when I say this.

Growinb up I was always told woman are more caring and nicer than men whenever I have gone on a female dominated online forum asking for advice all I receive is nothing but hostility and pure bullying behaviour from the women on the fourms. This happened to me again whenever I went on a depression fourm during lockdown. See story here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...i-received-was-judgement-and-hostility.64844/

I have noticed Some women over the age of 40+ have this hatred and lack of compassion towards women in their 20s who are having a difficult time in their lives. I noticed this when I have come across older women online.
Love is a human need, like water or food. The sad part is not everyone receives it.
My biological father left before I was born and I spent much of my teen years trying to get in touch with him or do things thinking that he'll come back for me. He never did and I realised too late that my love is too precious to waste on people like him.
I'm genuinely sorry to hear about your experience on MumsNet although I have never personally used the site. Wanting to be loved is the farthest thing from wrong, especially from someone who is supposed to play the role of a father.
Learn to spend your love on those who'll love you back. I found that love in a best friend, you may find it in someone else.. :heart:

Either way, I wish you peace and best of luck.
~S
Sra_TZ I am so sorry. I glad to hear you found love in your best friend. It was your father who lost out not you. You are better off without him.

My family never told me about my biological father growing up because they wanted to "protect" me. I was curious about my father but as a child I just accepted I will never see him in my lifetime. I did see my father when I was 15 at a family funeral.

I eventually learned that my father was so close to me the entire time . He lived in the same city I grew up in but in a neighbourhood a bit further away. He had a new life with a new woman and children with her. My family gave him multiple opportunities to contact me but never did . He didnt care.

I have forgiven my father for never being there and i feel peace. I still get upset sometimes he was never there especially as I grow older. When I marry I will have no one to give me away on my wedding day and I have no one to teach me what a real man is supposed to be. All those things fathers do with their daughters I will never experience. People who grew up with their fathers will never understand this
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
974
Stablewater the worst comments were the ones telling me to "grow up" and " seek therapy". I was even criticised for living with my parents.

It's is so insulting because therapy is for people who have suffered serious trauma ie abuse and real hardship. I have a privileged life compared to most I don't need therapy. The people on the site have no medical qualifications and I find irresponsible for someone who has no qualifications in psychology/psychiatry to make such an assessment that I should seek therapy. People just throw the word therapy because they are too lazy to give meaningful helpful advice to people.
I agree with you. Those people have no qualifications to say anything, and usually, not even the experience. I also hate when people tell me to seek therapy, especially because I already did it many times, without any results. People seem to think that therapy is something magical and that by changing the way I see the world, bad things will stop happening. It's like telling a recurrently tortured prisoner to enjoy his life.
 
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Nunyabinniss

Nunyabinniss

Member
Mar 23, 2019
78
I asked for advice on mumsnet which is a British online forum for mothers. I thought because it was a mother's fourms the women would be more understanding however the mums just viciously builled me.

I finally started to believe I got the father I always wanted all these years but now I realise I was wrong. Rescently I have come to realisation my stepfather will never love me the way he does with his stepsons.My stepfathers only child is a 8yr old boy from a previous relationship. His son has two older teenage brothers (16-17). When it comes to his teenage stepsons my stepfather he treats his stepsons like they are his actual sons.He does everything for them and is currently more involved in their lives than his with mine . There so many examples of the blatant favouritism and deep commitment my stepfather shows his sons but doesn't do the same for me. Other family members have noticed this. I am invisible to him.

I asked the mothers for advice on how to deal with the realisation my stepfather will never love me like a daughter.
The responses where
" grow up you are adult"
" your stepfather has been in those boys lives longer than yours deal with it "
" immature "
I was also called "entitled "

Am I wrong for wanting to be loved?
You're not wrong to want to be loved. You're not wrong at all. So perfectly natural. I feel you friend. I'm here if you ever wanna vent or talk.
 
FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
I agree with you. Those people have no qualifications to say anything, and usually, not even the experience. I also hate when people tell me to seek therapy, especially because I already did it many times, without any results. People seem to think that therapy is something magical and that by changing the way I see the world, bad things will stop happening. It's like telling a recurrently tortured prisoner to enjoy his life.
Stablewater I am sorry to hear that. This is why I find mental health awareness months and campaigns nothing but total bullshit. They bullshit because the campaigns ignore so many things like ie good quality therapy is actually hard to access if you haven't got the money, the people working in psychiatric care have been quite abusive towards vunlerable patients under their care, some forms of mental illness can be very difficult to treat ie severe mental illness fall in to this category.

One of the reasons suicide is sky high amoung my age group is because when young people reach out for help they are just judged and treated awfully. In the end some young people will feel this is not a world worth living in anymore. I reached out people whether in real life and the online world just made me feel so bad about myself even more.

I never seen a therapist and I don't plan to. I would rather prefer people help me with my problems, listen to my concerns and not be judgemental.

I wanted to life and enjoy life and find my real place in the world but I don't know how hence why my suicide in my 30s is inevitable. If I was helped to live things would have been different.
You're not wrong to want to be loved. You're not wrong at all. So perfectly natural. I feel you friend. I'm here if you ever wanna vent or talk.
Nunyabinniss thank you. I realise now mumsnet, the depression fourm I used to be a member of and the real world are all just the SAME. The same which is judgemental, bullying, devoid of empathy and compassion for those who are at their lowest points in life.

The worst thing is the people on these forum think they are better than the people in the real world.
 
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chocolatebar

chocolatebar

Paragon
Jul 11, 2021
974
I wanted to life and enjoy life and find my real place in the world but I don't know how hence why my suicide in my 30s is inevitable. If I was helped to live things would have been different.
This is what hits me harder about you. Deep down, you have the will to live, but just weren't permitted to by your circumstances... I really wish I could do something for you, but it seems that I can only give a virtual hug right now.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,604
I agree with what the others have said, of course you are not wrong for wanting to be loved. I'm sorry you are going through this, those mothers on the forum sound so insensitive. Some people should learn to be more compassionate and understanding towards what other people are going through. I wish you well.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
Stablewater the worst comments were the ones telling me to "grow up" and " seek therapy". I was even criticised for living with my parents.

It's is so insulting because therapy is for people who have suffered serious trauma ie abuse and real hardship. I have a privileged life compared to most I don't need therapy. The people on the site have no medical qualifications and I find irresponsible for someone who has no qualifications in psychology/psychiatry to make such an assessment that I should seek therapy. People just throw the word therapy because they are too lazy to give meaningful helpful advice to people.

Lonewolf Virtual hug for you :)
My family would say the world is becoming more evil and a horrible place and how life in their generation was better. I disagree with my family whenever they say this. I said to my family " the world was ALWAYS evil we have just become more aware of evil the world truly is". My family and the older generation get shocked when I say this.

Growinb up I was always told woman are more caring and nicer than men whenever I have gone on a female dominated online forum asking for advice all I receive is nothing but hostility and pure bullying behaviour from the women on the fourms. This happened to me again whenever I went on a depression fourm during lockdown. See story here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...i-received-was-judgement-and-hostility.64844/

I have noticed Some women over the age of 40+ have this hatred and lack of compassion towards women in their 20s who are having a difficult time in their lives. I noticed this when I have come across older women online.

Sra_TZ I am so sorry. I glad to hear you found love in your best friend. It was your father who lost out not you. You are better off without him.

My family never told me about my biological father growing up because they wanted to "protect" me. I was curious about my father but as a child I just accepted I will never see him in my lifetime. I did see my father when I was 15 at a family funeral.

I eventually learned that my father was so close to me the entire time . He lived in the same city I grew up in but in a neighbourhood a bit further away. He had a new life with a new woman and children with her. My family gave him multiple opportunities to contact me but never did . He didnt care.

I have forgiven my father for never being there and i feel peace. I still get upset sometimes he was never there especially as I grow older. When I marry I will have no one to give me away on my wedding day and I have no one to teach me what a real man is supposed to be. All those things fathers do with their daughters I will never experience. People who grew up with their fathers will never understand this
Stablewater the worst comments were the ones telling me to "grow up" and " seek therapy". I was even criticised for living with my parents.

It's is so insulting because therapy is for people who have suffered serious trauma ie abuse and real hardship. I have a privileged life compared to most I don't need therapy. The people on the site have no medical qualifications and I find irresponsible for someone who has no qualifications in psychology/psychiatry to make such an assessment that I should seek therapy. People just throw the word therapy because they are too lazy to give meaningful helpful advice to people.

Lonewolf Virtual hug for you :)
My family would say the world is becoming more evil and a horrible place and how life in their generation was better. I disagree with my family whenever they say this. I said to my family " the world was ALWAYS evil we have just become more aware of evil the world truly is". My family and the older generation get shocked when I say this.

Growinb up I was always told woman are more caring and nicer than men whenever I have gone on a female dominated online forum asking for advice all I receive is nothing but hostility and pure bullying behaviour from the women on the fourms. This happened to me again whenever I went on a depression fourm during lockdown. See story here https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...i-received-was-judgement-and-hostility.64844/

I have noticed Some women over the age of 40+ have this hatred and lack of compassion towards women in their 20s who are having a difficult time in their lives. I noticed this when I have come across older women online.

Sra_TZ I am so sorry. I glad to hear you found love in your best friend. It was your father who lost out not you. You are better off without him.

My family never told me about my biological father growing up because they wanted to "protect" me. I was curious about my father but as a child I just accepted I will never see him in my lifetime. I did see my father when I was 15 at a family funeral.

I eventually learned that my father was so close to me the entire time . He lived in the same city I grew up in but in a neighbourhood a bit further away. He had a new life with a new woman and children with her. My family gave him multiple opportunities to contact me but never did . He didnt care.

I have forgiven my father for never being there and i feel peace. I still get upset sometimes he was never there especially as I grow older. When I marry I will have no one to give me away on my wedding day and I have no one to teach me what a real man is supposed to be. All those things fathers do with their daughters I will never experience. People who grew up with their fathers will never understand this

I asked for advice on mumsnet which is a British online forum for mothers. I thought because it was a mother's fourms the women would be more understanding however the mums just viciously builled me.

I finally started to believe I got the father I always wanted all these years but now I realise I was wrong. Rescently I have come to realisation my stepfather will never love me the way he does with his stepsons.My stepfathers only child is a 8yr old boy from a previous relationship. His son has two older teenage brothers (16-17). When it comes to his teenage stepsons my stepfather he treats his stepsons like they are his actual sons.He does everything for them and is currently more involved in their lives than his with mine . There so many examples of the blatant favouritism and deep commitment my stepfather shows his sons but doesn't do the same for me. Other family members have noticed this. I am invisible to him.

I asked the mothers for advice on how to deal with the realisation my stepfather will never love me like a daughter.
The responses where
" grow up you are adult"
" your stepfather has been in those boys lives longer than yours deal with it "
" immature "
I was also called "entitled "

Am I wrong for wanting to be loved?

Pluto sorry to hear that and I will take your advice.

He does everything for them this is what makes me cry and so furious. When his stepsons are having problems in their lives he more active in trying to help them whereas he is just passive and at times distant when it comes to myself and my other immediate family . When his stepsons when they are are arguing with their mother he is involved in trying to resolve it by talking to the mum and other people to resolve the problem. Rescently he completely forgot about my mother birthday as he was trying to fix a conflict his stepsons were having with their mother.

My stepfather shows more interest in what is happening in their lives in general compared to myself. He will would want to know what is happening in the boys school. When his stepson uploads a YouTube music video he quick to tell everyone in across his family and my own. He even drove his stepson and his friends to film a music video.
My teenage sister even said " he doesn't even make the effort to know us he knows nothing about me"

He lives with my family but he is always running after his stepsons who live further away.

I am just so upset because I will NEVER see my father again whereas these boys can see theirs even in the future.The boys father lives in the USA. The boys recently even talked to their father on the phone . My stepfather does so much for them and is so heavily involved their lives like a father for boys who already have one.

He doesn't know the real person I truly am.

Riley Qolar I thought a mother's fourms would be the least judgemental place ever but all everyone did was make feel bad. The comments have broken me . I have spent my whole being rejected and excluded by women especially in a group. I was builled by a group of girls at school, my friendship group who was a group of girls at school just said mean things when I was not around and excluded me from things, I struggle to relate to most women my age as I have not experienced what they have in their lives.
I was a born a female but I feel like a total outsider in the sex group I was born in.

Then the site bans me. I can't login anymore.

The "society" decides what's right or wrong. And as "society" is just a combination of different groups based on similar worldview, you should decide which group you'd like to listen to. I doubt you need to hear the advice from British Karens.
Though the adjective "entitled" is used too much to simply brush it off. I believe the majority of people think this way.
Riley Qolar I don't call it mumsnet anymore I call it Karen's net
 
Nunyabinniss

Nunyabinniss

Member
Mar 23, 2019
78
Stablewater I am sorry to hear that. This is why I find mental health awareness months and campaigns nothing but total bullshit. They bullshit because the campaigns ignore so many things like ie good quality therapy is actually hard to access if you haven't got the money, the people working in psychiatric care have been quite abusive towards vunlerable patients under their care, some forms of mental illness can be very difficult to treat ie severe mental illness fall in to this category.

One of the reasons suicide is sky high amoung my age group is because when young people reach out for help they are just judged and treated awfully. In the end some young people will feel this is not a world worth living in anymore. I reached out people whether in real life and the online world just made me feel so bad about myself even more.

I never seen a therapist and I don't plan to. I would rather prefer people help me with my problems, listen to my concerns and not be judgemental.

I wanted to life and enjoy life and find my real place in the world but I don't know how hence why my suicide in my 30s is inevitable. If I was helped to live things would have been different.

Nunyabinniss thank you. I realise now mumsnet, the depression fourm I used to be a member of and the real world are all just the SAME. The same which is judgemental, bullying, devoid of empathy and compassion for those who are at their lowest points in life.

The worst thing is the people on these forum think they are better than the people in the real world.
God I'm so sorry and can we like the world is really a judgmental place with faux help. Have you ever tried something along the lines of emotions anonymous personally I fucking hate all alcoholic anonymous off spends but AA have found that emotions anonymous can be decent it does vary from group to group obviously and most of them in my area are small but it has been a place where I have seen some people be able to express emotions without being fucking judged slandered shit on or all that shit kind of just a place to cathartic release emotions. I know it doesn't help everything or even close to a fraction of things but just something that came to mind. Hope all is well.
 
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user_name_here

N/A
May 16, 2021
315
I'm sorry you got those responses on Mums Net. I can't begin to understand that type of mentality some of those users have. Total lack of empathy for adults looking for something as basic as love and care.

And to answer your question, of course your not wrong for wanting to be loved. Other users have answered it better but i just wanted to offer some virtual support for you.
 
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FireFox

FireFox

Enlightened
Apr 8, 2020
1,842
I'm sorry you got those responses on Mums Net. I can't begin to understand that type of mentality some of those users have. Total lack of empathy for adults looking for something as basic as love and care.

And to answer your question, of course your not wrong for wanting to be loved. Other users have answered it better but i just wanted to offer some virtual support for you.
No_Comply Thank you so much. I am more upset that the mums were just nothing but judgemental. I thought they would be understanding because step parent families are the norm.

The worst comment was the ones criticising me for sending fathers day cards and telling me to grow up. Its like these women have no concept of caring for anyone in their own lives.

I was raised to always make people feel welcome who come in to my home.

It is not fair the boys my stepfather spends time with they have a father who they will see again but I will never see mine.

I don't call it mumsnet I call it KarensNet now.
God I'm so sorry and can we like the world is really a judgmental place with faux help. Have you ever tried something along the lines of emotions anonymous personally I fucking hate all alcoholic anonymous off spends but AA have found that emotions anonymous can be decent it does vary from group to group obviously and most of them in my area are small but it has been a place where I have seen some people be able to express emotions without being fucking judged slandered shit on or all that shit kind of just a place to cathartic release emotions. I know it doesn't help everything or even close to a fraction of things but just something that came to mind. Hope all is well.
Thank you at this point I have no accepted my stepfather will never see me like a daughter. The way my stepfather is involved in his stepsons lives it is like he is tied to his ex gf and not making any effort to know my own family.

I have learnt never to seek help ever again for anything especially on online support forums. The people on the online world think they are different from people in the real world but the truth is they are all the same
Real world , online world they are all judgmental. Neither world is better.
 
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