NSFW Am i the only guy who feels uncomfortable when a guy touches my penis? LGBTQ+ people GTFIH

[MakinItHappen111]

So I (a gay male), had a few sexual experiences with guys once every blue moon, starting at 15 when i would lie about my age on hookup websites, to now at 18. I've always felt like i should only be serving the guy im with, and not the other way around. I dont like the feeling when a guy touches, jerks or sucks my penis. But i have to allow them to do it so i dont end up being in pain from blue balls. I cant be the only one who's like this.

I am starting to think i might be trans though, I always fantasise about having a vagina and having one guy stretch it out. I dont know if im just confused or if im trans. and if i am trans, it would be brutal for me socially.

I live in a first world country that has good legal protections for trans people, but theres still a lot of queerphobic people. so i dont know, i still dont even know if i should come out as gay to anyone besides a few of my semi progressive family members (i told them im bisexual to make it seem less bad, one was chill and the other looked at me in disgust for a bit and sent me a video of a baby asking for "mama" to his 2 dads, but she eventually got over it)

 

[slowlybreaking]

not my case but i've known someone with a similar behavior, who has also lied about their age on hookup websites. was your first sexual experience also with someone way older than they should have? might be blunt to say but my hypothesis is that the discomfort you feel is due to SA but i'm not entirely sure about it and it's probably an idiotic idea, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

[tonicer]

If i was you I would not tell people i know who don't like it that i am not straight just like i am not going to tell people i am suicidal who i know that they wouldn't understand it. Some secrets are better to remain secrets. Also 15 is way too young, you might suffer from sexual assault trauma.

 

[bagel12]

if you dont like others touching you in certain ways, dont force yourself to do it. its perfectly ok to serve the guy youre with and then get yourself off, you dont need the other person to touch you.

for lesbians it's called a "stone top" and it's pretty common. there might be a similar term for gay men. im mostly a stone top and my partners never had a problem with it.

some people are just wired this way, it's pretty common. for some people it's related to asexuality, trauma, gender dysphoria, autism, internalized homophobia and so on. regardless, there is nothing wrong with it. please don't do things that make you uncomfortable.

if you think you might be trans, there are resources online to get hormones

 

[MakinItHappen111]

not my case but i've known someone with a similar behavior, who has also lied about their age on hookup websites. was your first sexual experience also with someone way older than they should have? might be blunt to say but my hypothesis is that the discomfort you feel is due to SA but i'm not entirely sure about it and it's probably an idiotic idea, so take it with a grain of salt.

He was older, but it wasn't sa

Also 15 is way too young, you might suffer from sexual assault trauma.

How is that sexual assault? I consented to having the sexual experience, and lied saying im of age.

 

[slowlybreaking]

He was older, but it wasn't sa


How is that sexual assault? I consented to having the sexual experience, and lied saying im of age.

lying about your age doesn't mean it can't be SA/abuse and it doesn't erase the adult's responsibility especially if he had a reason to believe you were underage and chose to ignore it. i believe adults should be able to recognize when someone seems significantly younger and "they lied about their age" shouldn't be used as a blanket excuse when there were signs. the difference between a 15 and a 18 yo is usually very noticeable; even the difference between 18 and 20 can be noticeable despite both being legal adults. if he was 25 or older, then the fact that he was looking to hook up with someone he believed was barely 18 is already a red flag to me though i know not everyone will agree with that part. but finding out you were actually underage only makes the situation worse.

HOWEVER
we're getting off track.

i don't think you'd want to share any more info about that experience and that's okay we can leave it there.
like bagel12 said, that could be one of the reasons you might experience that discomfort but it doesn't have to be the reason why you feel it. i just wanted to make my point clear because many people i know have been in that place where they think "i consented, therefore it's not abuse" and that isn't always right.

sorry in advance if it seems i'm draggin the topic further or if my tone seems aggressive, i really don't mean to disrespect you in any way

 

[tonicer]

How is that sexual assault? I consented to having the sexual experience, and lied saying im of age.

It's generally understood that underage people can't give consent.

 

[MakinItHappen111]

It's generally understood that underage people can't give consent.

i dont think i was raped

 

[stillbelow]

Im in a very similar situation. Started at 14 w guys, and im 18 now. During each encounter i get more and more uncomfortable as the time passes. Especially when they focus on me. You're not the only one out there going through something like this.

 

[psp3000]

I am pretty sure this is a copied post.

edit: from a previous gay member of SS from approximately a few months to 2 years ago either an exact copy or slightly altered

 

[IHateTheBeach]

So I (a gay male), had a few sexual experiences with guys once every blue moon, starting at 15 when i would lie about my age on hookup websites, to now at 18. I've always felt like i should only be serving the guy im with, and not the other way around. I dont like the feeling when a guy touches, jerks or sucks my penis. But i have to allow them to do it so i dont end up being in pain from blue balls. I cant be the only one who's like this.

I am starting to think i might be trans though, I always fantasise about having a vagina and having one guy stretch it out. I dont know if im just confused or if im trans. and if i am trans, it would be brutal for me socially.

I live in a first world country that has good legal protections for trans people, but theres still a lot of queerphobic people. so i dont know, i still dont even know if i should come out as gay to anyone besides a few of my semi progressive family members (i told them im bisexual to make it seem less bad, one was chill and the other looked at me in disgust for a bit and sent me a video of a baby asking for "mama" to his 2 dads, but she eventually got over it)

I don't think it's like that. Teens usually fantasize about being a girl and being with a guy. When I was 15 I thought I am bisexual because of a boy. But I never liked other gay things. I later found that it's because that guy looked cute and I just wanted to be like him. It's jealousy not gay. 15 is too young to think straight.

I gave up on thinking about my sexuality and gender. I instead just chose gender and sexuality I like. I am male and straight(If I am not a addict to corn I would be Asexual) because it's something I like. You don't have to make it a big deal. If I am gay or bi I won't even tell anyone about it because I don't care whether I am gay or something. Internet force people to be self aware but self awareness is not a big deal just be ignorant and happy.

 

[Seneca65AD]

Can't really contribute to the conversation, because as a straight male, I get uncomfortable when any guy touches my penis.

However, the issue of consent is fairly clear cut. In law school we were told that we can't have sex with dead people, children or animals because none have the capacity for consent. I did not really see anything mind-blowing about that dictum since none of those particular categories were on my potential dating list. But there are statutory rape issues and "close in age" exceptions to those statutory lines.