am i suicidal

[Challu]

I'm just fat, ugly, and balding. I become suicidal whenever I think about my future or whenever there's a task that I have to do that is aimed towards "bettering myself". It's just thoughts of suicide that come and go, but they mostly depends on my attitude in that particular moment. So, I guess I'm just an average person? I don't think I have any external or personal reasons to commit it.. and I say "i don't think" because I'm not sure if my reasonings that make me feel positive about committing suicide are valid "enough".

My reasonings may contradict, but my SI usually begins because I think about my desire for a future, and my reason for living and realize that I have none.
I know that sounds so typical, but I legitimately cannot think of any reason to live today. And if I can't.. then seeking out romance and a good lifestyle just seem so vain.
I know alot of you can agree with me about that - that's it is truly so pointless to try to live for anything present or future while we are here.

Maybe everything I'm saying is total bullshit... because if I managed to have children, or find someone to love then I could easily be convinced that I have a "purpose"..
But the reason I don't pursue those things and stay the way I am is because forced responsibility gives people the perception of purpose.

 

[Idkaho2]

No, you are not suicidal. Not sure what "SI" means. Thanks for asking though!

 

[Lonerzepam]

No, you are not suicidal. Not sure what "SI" means. Thanks for asking though!

SI survival instinct
But idk if it's also ment in that context

 

[Idkaho2]

SI survival instinct
But idk if it's also ment in that context

Hm, sounds like the title of this thread is dumb then.

 

[Lonerzepam]

You don't even have to have a reason to commit suicide bro. I don't know I guess everyone thinks different about "being suicidal". I'm suicidal because I think of CTB every second of the day.
But there's no real scale I think for being suicidal. Only you can really know...
Best wishes

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry you're suffering and stuck in limbo
It's not easy

 

[SarRy]

Try doing things that you enjoy. Forget finding a "purpose". Just live your life. Just because things are "vain", that doesn't mean they have no value. Everything is lost in time, but you can still have fun in the meantime. Sounds like it might be something along the lines of passive suicidality. Like, not wanting to cause your own death, but not being upset if it happens.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that in the post, SI means suicide ideation. But after all, only you know if you should leave this world, it's completely a personal decision in which I believe that only the individual knows if it's the right thing. Suicide doesn't need a reason, we all have our right to exit this world and why we wish to leave this world doesn't have to be justified in any way. But yes, life certainly is pointless and serves no purpose. I view life as a terrible and useless concept as it's the source of all suffering after all. The idea that life has any purpose is a delusion. But I wish you the best.

 

[Challu]

You don't even have to have a reason to commit suicide bro. I don't know I guess everyone thinks different about "being suicidal". I'm suicidal because I think of CTB every second of the day.
But there's no real scale I think for being suicidal. Only you can really know...
Best wishes

What's your reason, bro