Am i being unreasonable expecting my parents to suggest suicide?

[thetwilightzone]

It's funny how it seems that most parents (from what I've read online) would rather their children go to jail or homeless than prison. My parents have been threatening me with the last two. They say that they won't force me to study because it's my own problem if I like life poor.

I honestly can't comprehend the incongruity. I told my parents when I was 17 that I'd kill myself and my dad reacted really badly calling me "immature" and saying I should "Toughen Up" but he's okay with kicking me out of the house just because I pawned off one thing.

In all honesty, why are parents against suicide even when they realize their child is a "mess" (according to them)? What benefit does society get from keeping someone alive who has problems and can't get educated?

 

[MEoDP]

1 word,3 syllables: Selfishness.

Parents selfishly want to force you to keep on living even when they themselves know that there is no real future for their children for whatever reason. I suspect that part of it is because all their investment(all the time,money,effort they spent in trying to raise you,even if they do a horrible job of it overall)will go down the drain if their children CTB's. again,its all just selfishness disguised as "caring about you." It makes me sick.

In all honesty,some people lose the life-lottery so badly that they are better off catching the bus(apologies if I'm preaching to the choir,lol),but people wish to selfishly keep them alive even it doesn't benefit anybody.

 

[MEoDP]

I must chime in with this however:

Even if your parents secretly want you to do yourself in,its legally risky(and ethically risky to themselves,they probably won't be able to look at themselves in the mirror if they tried encouraging you to kill yourself)to incite someone to die. If you want to die,don't wait for their permission,because chances are it isn't gonna come.

 

[bigj75]

Yae I made this mistake. I was drunk off my ass with a glock 22 in my hand ready to off myself in a hotel room but my dad called me at the wrong damn time and my drunk ass spilled the beans and thought he would understand. Huge mistake. Don't ever tell your parents.

 

[ThisIsTheEnd]

I have been told to tell my parents, to see if they can help, but I honestly think that it won't and will just make it harder to ctb when the time comes.

 

[bigj75]

I have been told to tell my parents, to see if they can help, but I honestly think that it won't and will just make it harder to ctb when the time comes.

If you know that your depression/mental illness is to severe to be fixed then I wouldn't tell them. But your parents may be different.

 

[ThisIsTheEnd]

If you know that your depression/mental illness is to severe to be fixed then I wouldn't tell them. But your parents may be different.

They are the norm - selfish people who forced me into this life. My Dad would just yell at me and Mum would just say that she "cares about me" while forcing me to see to a shrink. So, you know, I get that it wouldn't end well, but I sometimes think about telling them so they aren't surprised when they find my body, and that they keep my sister away from my body. I don't want her to see me hanging from a tree.

 

[zadig777]

they do care and are not selfish
ur thinking is immature
they love u and u are part of them
if i knew i would mess my brain and body with AD medication i would never start
now its either suicide or living with miserable 30% or less with what i was capable months ago
having a gun ready would be dream,but with hanging its fucked idk
i don't even have a real rope so have to improves
if i hadn't come to this condition i would never thought about suicide,but now it even comes as necessity..
I loved life and it's a shame,since all i gave into it..

 

[hunter_lewis]

Because it is pretty hard accepting the death of a human you pressed out of your body, then cleaned its shit for 24 months and then raised it for another 16 years.
Just saying.
It's a difficult situation for all

 

[bigj75]

Because it is pretty hard accepting the death of a human you pressed out of your body, then cleaned its shit for 24 months and then raised it for another 16 years.
Just saying.
It's a difficult situation for all

Yae but parentes should learn about depression/mental illness and stuff and take that into consideration before having children.

Most parents destroy their kids lives because they don't understand developmental psychology. It baffles my mind how some parents just have kids and have the ego to think they will raise perfect children when their own life is in complete shit or they teach their children the wrong thing.

 

[okyeah]

No one in real life will encourage ur suicide due to law and their own contentment with life.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Yae but parentes should learn about depression/mental illness and stuff and take that into consideration before having children.

Most parents destroy their kids lives because they don't understand developmental psychology. It baffles my mind how some parents just have kids and have the ego to think they will raise perfect children when their own life is in complete shit or they teach their children the wrong thing.

No parent gives birth to a child expecting it to be mentally ill. You just never know how your kid is going to turn out. and most of us go on living, so things are pretty okay or at least bearable for most of us

 

[okyeah]

No parent gives birth to a child expecting it to be mentally ill. You just never know how your kid is going to turn out. and most of us go on living, so things are pretty okay or at least bearable for most of us

I wish more people would take a look at their own life objectively. My parents are delusional people that are happy/content having no friends and being shut-ins that read books all day etc. They can't even take care of a cat and yet decided to have a child. Look how well that went lol. It's not enough to love your child or whatever. You are building an infrastructure to raise a successful person. Otherwise that person will be unsuccessful (like me).

 

[bigj75]

I wish more people would take a look at their own life objectively. My parents are delusional people that are happy/content having no friends and being shut-ins that read books all day etc. They can't even take care of a cat and yet decided to have a child. Look how well that went lol. It's not enough to love your child or whatever. You are building an infrastructure to raise a successful person. Otherwise that person will be unsuccessful (like me).

Exactly!

Who the fuck wants bearable/pretty ok life?
Putting a roof over your kids house and putting food on the table is not enough to produce a full potential human being. People think that's all they need to do since it barely gets your kid by enough.

You need knowledge on how to prepare a child into a adult. Mentally, physically, psychology, socially, financially, etc. Everyone is so content with doing the least to be able to get by in the world and then they wonder why the world is shit.

I'm not saying parents don't love their children but most parents do not know how to love their children properly.

Think of it this way with raising a dog (yes I know humans are more complicated than dogs but you will get my point ) alot of dog owners love their dogs with all their heart. But majority of dog owners have difficulty with their dogs and their behavior. Why is that you ask? Because majority of dog owners dont know anything about dog psychology and dogs physical well being. They think they know enough when they don't because they think the basics is enough to get by. Then they wonder why their dog acts up all the time. I've seen it so many times. It's the same with children.

 

[hunter_lewis]

Exactly!

Who the fuck wants bearable/pretty ok life?
Putting a roof over your kids house and putting food on the table is not enough to produce a full potential human being. People think that's all they need to do since it barely gets your kid by enough.

You need knowledge on how to prepare a child into a adult. Mentally, physically, psychology, socially, financially, etc. Everyone is so content with doing the least to be able to get by in the world and then they wonder why the world is shit.

I'm not saying parents don't love their children but most parents do not know how to love their children properly.

Think of it this way with raising a dog (yes I know humans are more complicated than dogs but you will get my point ) alot of dog owners love their dogs with all their heart. But majority of dog owners have difficulty with their dogs and their behavior. Why is that you ask? Because majority of dog owners dont know anything about dog psychology and dogs physical well being. They think they know enough when they don't because they think the basics is enough to get by. Then they wonder why their dog acts up all the time. I've seen it so many times. It's the same with children.

You can't compare children with dogs. They are completely different...dogs are something we created out of wolves whilst kids are homo sapiens just like us. And sure, many kids have behavioral problems but most kids turn out just fine and go on to work, have their own families etc.

 

[bigj75]

You can't compare children with dogs. They are completely different...dogs are something we created out of wolves whilst kids are homo sapiens just like us. And sure, many kids have behavioral problems but most kids turn out just fine and go on to work, have their own families etc.

I just said that. There are more variables to children than dogs but the point still gets across. Most dog owners can't even raise a dog to it's full potential so it baffles my mind how they can even conceive of raising a child. Alot of behavioral problems are caused by bad parenting.

Yes most kids do turn out fine but even then do you know those people personally to truly believe that?
I've known plenty of fucked up people who go on to work, have their own families etc.

For example a coworker told me about her personal life. I've met and had lunch with her husband and he was polite each time. He has kids, a job, etc. But she spilled the beans to me about how he treats her and the kids. I had no idea he was like that but caught on to it.

So just because on the outside you think people are decent you really have no clue unless you have lived with every person you claim has turned out fine or if you have info from someone who lives with them.

 

[BjartNO]

^Good post

 

[hunter_lewis]

[QUOTE="bigj75, post: 74364, member: 2188"

I just said that. There are more variables to children than dogs but the point still gets across. Most dog owners can't even raise a dog to it's full potential so it baffles my mind how they can even conceive of raising a child. Alot of behavioral problems are caused by bad parenting.

Yes most kids do turn out fine but even then do you know those people personally to truly believe that?
I've known plenty of fucked up people who go on to work, have their own families etc.

For example a coworker told me about her personal life. I've met and had lunch with her husband and he was polite each time. He has kids, a job, etc. But she spilled the beans to me about how he treats her and the kids. I had no idea he was like that but caught on to it.

So just because on the outside you think people are decent you really have no clue unless you have lived with every person you claim has turned out fine or if you have info from someone who lives with them.[/QUOTE]

we're all a little fucked up, but that doesn't stop most of us from living normal lives. It's still not a reason not to have kids (assuming someone wants to have kids.)
The reality is that there are never perfect circumstances to have kids and you can't deny people the right to have children. So some of us don't want to exist-that is not the reality for most people

 

[bigj75]

we're all a little fucked up, but that doesn't stop most of us from living normal lives. It's still not a reason not to have kids (assuming someone wants to have kids.)
The reality is that there are never perfect circumstances to have kids and you can't deny people the right to have children. So some of us don't want to exist-that is not the reality for most people

I agree we are all a little fucked up. Nobody is perfect.
There will never be a perfect circumstance to have children like you said. But goddamn people love to have children at the worst time and in the worst circumstance.

There needs to be pre-qualifications for people before they can be considered having children. Why? Because it would reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world and future children. Some people should be denied the right to have kids by any means necessary.

It's similar to police officers . These days everyone wonders why police are always trigger happy, killing unnecessarily, psychologically unstable, abusing everyone, fat, raping females they pull over, etc. The qualifications/standards to become an officer are too low.
There needs to be far more extensive psych evaluations, behavioral evaluation, nutrition, physical fitness, training, background, etc.

 

[itsallover]

I wish my family would understand. My life has become unbearable and I am going to make them sole beneficiaries of my estate as they'll get a nice settlement from my malpractice suit. I'm tired of being put down constantly after I was so hardworking when I was healthy. When times get tough, even your own family abandons you. I don't get it. What more do they want from me? I finished college, had a good career and now that I'm sick and just want to go and willing to leave them a lot behind I'm still wrong? If I saw a family member suffering day in and day out with no end in sight then I would help them end their suffering. I had no idea this world could be so fucked up. I really hope it goes to hell.

 

[hunter_lewis]

I agree we are all a little fucked up. Nobody is perfect.
There will never be a perfect circumstance to have children like you said. But goddamn people love to have children at the worst time and in the worst circumstance.

There needs to be pre-qualifications for people before they can be considered having children. Why? Because it would reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world and future children. Some people should be denied the right to have kids by any means necessary.

It's similar to police officers . These days everyone wonders why police are always, trigger happy, killing unnecessarily, psychologically unstable, abusing everyone, fat, raping females they pull over, etc. The qualifications/standards to become an officer are too low.
There needs to be far more extensive psych evaluations, behavioral evaluation, nutrition, physical fitness, training, background, etc.

the reality in my country is that it is being overrun by immigrants and we barely have enough police as it is to deal with all of the crazy stuff that goes on here. And most police in my country are okay-not great, but all right. So there are just not enough people who want to be police officers and we just have to make do with what we have got.
Sorry, but pre-qualifications to do a normal and natural thing like nature intended is a bit absurd-we need to support those in need and help them raise a better generation. It is unrealistic, who would decide on which qualification you need? And there are so many different cultures in the world, every culture would have to have its own qualifications.

 

[bigj75]

I wish my family would understand. My life has become unbearable and I am going to make them sole beneficiaries of my estate as they'll get a nice settlement from my malpractice suit. I'm tired of being put down constantly after I was so hardworking when I was healthy. When times get tough, even your own family abandons you. I don't get it. What more do they want from me? I finished college, had a good career and now that I'm sick and just want to go and willing to leave them a lot behind I'm still wrong? If I saw a family member suffering day in and day out with no end in sight then I would help them end their suffering. I had no idea this world could be so fucked up. I really hope it goes to hell.

same! Good post!

 

[hunter_lewis]

I wish my family would understand. My life has become unbearable and I am going to make them sole beneficiaries of my estate as they'll get a nice settlement from my malpractice suit. I'm tired of being put down constantly after I was so hardworking when I was healthy. When times get tough, even your own family abandons you. I don't get it. What more do they want from me? I finished college, had a good career and now that I'm sick and just want to go and willing to leave them a lot behind I'm still wrong? If I saw a family member suffering day in and day out with no end in sight then I would help them end their suffering. I had no idea this world could be so fucked up. I really hope it goes to hell.

how old are you if I might ask?

 

[itsallover]

how old are you if I might ask?

I'm 31 and haven't really had a life since 29. It's just non stop doctors appointments. I really need this suffering to end.

 

[hunter_lewis]

I'm 31 and haven't really had a life since 29. It's just non stop doctors appointments. I really need this suffering to end.

totally feel you on that, I am also really sick with chronic pain

 

[itsallover]

totally feel you on that, I am also really sick with chronic pain

I know that I would be the perfect candidate for assisted suicide if I lived in the right country.

 

[bigj75]

the reality in my country is that it is being overrun by immigrants and we barely have enough police as it is to deal with all of the crazy stuff that goes on here. And most police in my country are okay-not great, but all right. So there are just not enough people who want to be police officers and we just have to make do with what we have got.
Sorry, but pre-qualifications to do a normal and natural thing like nature intended is a bit absurd-we need to support those in need and help them raise a better generation. It is unrealistic, who would decide on which qualification you need? And there are so many different cultures in the world, every culture would have to have its own qualifications.

There needs to be more intervention/checkups on families at least.

I've known drug addicts who had children then turned their own children into sex slaves and let people fuck them for money and drugs then drug up the children to keep them at bay and turn them into addicts. No way you gonna sit here and convince me or anyone else something like that can be blown off by categorizing it as part of their culture. There are plenty of qualifications that cannot be argued about that need to be upheld and followed to ensure a better quality of life for a child.

 

[hunter_lewis]

There needs to be more intervention/checkups on families at least.

I've known drug addicts who had children then turned their own children into sex slaves and let people fuck them for money and drugs then drug up the children to keep them at bay and turn them into addicts. No way you gonna sit here and convince me or anyone else something like that can be blown off by categorizing it as part of their culture. There are plenty of qualifications that cannot be argued about that need to be upheld and followed to ensure a better quality of life for a child.

of course there are people who do terrible things like the example you mentioned.
But this should not stop most people from having kids if they so desire. Most people are reasonable to a degree and won't traffick their kids...
A system of qualifications will never work in the real world. That's why it doesn't exist. And we have social services in many countries that try to save kids that are living in bad conditions.
Also, how would you go about implementing these minimum qualifications? For example, surely poor people who don't have enough money wouldn't be great parents-banned. People of low intelligence should also probably not be making babies-banned. People who are criminals should not be reproducing-banned. People who are disabled should also not be parents-banned. I think what you don't see is that people can change-criminals sometimes realized the errors of their ways, poor people still somehow make ends meet, disabled parents may have kids that are capable of living, people who are stupid can have smart kids...all of these things are not automatically given from parent to child and it is a great blessing that kids are so different from their parents. You know, there have people who thought of stuff like this before -it lead to WW2 and to the destruction and division of a country which now has to carry that legacy forever.

 

[Lara Francis]

It's funny how it seems that most parents (from what I've read online) would rather their children go to jail or homeless than prison. My parents have been threatening me with the last two. They say that they won't force me to study because it's my own problem if I like life poor.

I honestly can't comprehend the incongruity. I told my parents when I was 17 that I'd kill myself and my dad reacted really badly calling me "immature" and saying I should "Toughen Up" but he's okay with kicking me out of the house just because I pawned off one thing.

In all honesty, why are parents against suicide even when they realize their child is a "mess" (according to them)? What benefit does society get from keeping someone alive who has problems and can't get educated?

I am sorry, your paren'ts don't listen to you to fully understand.If they say you are a mess then it's their duty and should want to help you instead of fobbing you off.
I agree that many parents should not have had kids due to their circumstances or poor mental health but there are those of us who were perfectly happy and life was devastated by the loss of a loved one.
I speak as a parent and suicidal person so I guess I might sound a little contradictory.
If my son were to tell me he felt suicidal I would do everything to help him sooner than later.when we have children we try to nuture them ,providing for them physically and emotionally.We look forward to seeing them do well and achieve, go to college, get married, have kids etc.A parent should always want the best for their children and seeing them die before you seems so wrong.
On the flip side, I totally understand suicide and it does not come with a min age and drags you into the depths of despair.
I think it would be very unreasonable for you to expect parents to suggest suicide as it should make them feel like a failure as a parent in not being able to make everything better for you.I am talking hypothetically of course and I know each and every situation is different.

 

[hunter_lewis]

I am sorry, your paren'ts don't listen to you to fully understand.If they say you are a mess then it's their duty and should want to help you instead of fobbing you off.
I agree that many parents should not have had kids due to their circumstances or poor mental health but there are those of us who were perfectly happy and life was devastated by the loss of a loved one.
I speak as a parent and suicidal person so I guess I might sound a little contradictory.
If my son were to tell me he felt suicidal I would do everything to help him sooner than later.when we have children we try to nuture them ,providing for them physically and emotionally.We look forward to seeing them do well and achieve, go to college, get married, have kids etc.A parent should always want the best for their children and seeing them die before you seems so wrong.
On the flip side, I totally understand suicide and it does not come with a min age and drags you into the depths of despair.
I think it would be very unreasonable for you to expect parents to suggest suicide as it should make them feel like a failure as a parent in not being able to make everything better for you.I am talking hypothetically of course and I know each and every situation is different.

I know this is probably a really heartless question and I'm sorry for it, but would you ever get over your child's suicide? Or could you accept it?