After having experienced so much toxic positivity, I have lost trust in positive statements. To me, suffering and the truth are so much more reliable, and it's comforting to think about something without the risk of it being a lie. I also discovered that every time I convinced myself it's better to be positive, even for a very short amount of time, the inevitable realisation of the truth would crash down upon me and make me suffer more intensely than before. I don't want positivity or suffering, I just want death. I hope your situation improves.