Help Am I actually homicidal?

[borntosuffer]

For a while, I thought I was just dealing with intrusive thoughts, but I soon became comforted by the thought of physically harming people. I haven't done anything yet, though, because I know of the consequences. I haven't formulated any plans, yet, either. Is it possible to open up to anyone about this? I feel like this is something I should only keep to myself because I don't want to get in trouble. What are your experiences with homicidal ideations or intrusive thoughts?

 

[Akanea]

Psychiatrist. Though if they believe that you will harm someone soon they can put you in the grippy sock cell (psych ward) involuntarily. But yes intrusive thoughts that become overwhelming is something that should be looked at

 

[Suicidal Ideation]

you might be dealing with ocd

 

[Valky]

Yup yup, dealt with the same things, especially during the time I was in the psych ward. I think it is because I became curious and since I was doing so mentally unwell, also reckless.

I acted on my intrusive thoughts once and will hopefully never again (for obvious reason it was a terrible idea and no, I did not kill or harm someone else).

Intrusive thoughts are normal to some degree but an overload of them can also be a symptom for other conditions like OCD for example.

On the topic of the homicidal thoughts, I have actually no clue why or how they appeared and disappeared. Suffering does unimaginable things to our brains and I guess that sometimes our brain feels the need to share that suffering, the same way we like to share our happiness. Though of course, if it becomes burdening and you feel yourself slowly giving in to such thoughts then you should definitely tell a professional about it!

 

[borntosuffer]

you might be dealing with ocd

That is indeed what my psychiatrist thought of me when she and I first met. I was diagnosed with a prototype schizotypal personal disorder a couple of years ago (although I haven't gotten a proper diagnosis about it since then because I was still a minor), and SzPD can be comorbid with OCD.

Yup yup, dealt with the same things, especially during the time I was in the psych ward. I think it is because I became curious and since I was doing so mentally unwell, also reckless.

I acted on my intrusive thoughts once and will hopefully never again (for obvious reason it was a terrible idea and no, I did not kill or harm someone else).

Intrusive thoughts are normal to some degree but an overload of them can also be a symptom for other conditions like OCD for example.

On the topic of the homicidal thoughts, I have actually no clue why or how they appeared and disappeared. Suffering does unimaginable things to our brains and I guess that sometimes our brain feels the need to share that suffering, the same way we like to share our happiness. Though of course, if it becomes burdening and you feel yourself slowly giving in to such thoughts then you should definitely tell a professional about it!

Thank you for your wonderful insight Valky, I appreciate your interaction on my posts. I feel a lot better about telling my mental health professionals about what I'm dealing with.

 

[Suicidal Ideation]

That is indeed what my psychiatrist thought of me when she and I first met. I was diagnosed with a prototype schizotypal personal disorder a couple of years ago (although I haven't gotten a proper diagnosis about it since then because I was still a minor), and SzPD can be comorbid with OCD.

Thank you for your wonderful insight Valky, I appreciate your interaction on my posts. I feel a lot better about telling my mental health professionals about what I'm dealing with.

i have had violent homicidal thoughts before myself, to the point where things that sicken me now made me feel numb. it lasted a while but eventually it did pass. i feel like its just another one of those things, that comes with the nice and dandy package that is mental illness. however, if you find yourself planning something out regarding these feelings, i would suggest you talk to someone who would understand. most likely a psychiatrist.