Venting Always feeling different

[eaturdirt]

I'm trying to connect with other people and I try to make friends but it is so so hard. I never feel comfortable and it always feels like I'm putting up a front. I'm pretty alternative and I also dress that way, so I hoped that I would make friends that were also alternative, but even the alternative and "different" people that live in my city don't like me and think I'm weird. I feel like such an outcast and I always feel like I'm different. I never feel like I actually belong somewhere, and I really want to. I hate how most people nowadays are all so nonchalant or have that idgaf mindset. The only person that actually made me feel safe and heard was also the person who hurt me the most, it feels like I'll never find something like that again. It fucking drains me to try to connect with others, I just want to isolate and completely give up.