Venting Alone in a foreign country

[struggles_inc]

Because of political reasons I had to escape my home country and now I'm living elsewhere. Not to say that I didn't feel lonely back home, now it's just… so much worse.
I know I have no one to come home to.
I have no one to talk sincerely to.
Nobody to wake up for.

…eh. I only have my colleagues. People who don't give a shit about me except for my job being done. I think I told this one before, but I'm a manager of a big team. Some of my teammates are my 'friends', but… the friendships are one-sided and I get as little support as nothing.
Kinda funny having so many people around and having literally no one to talk to at the same time.

Sometimes I start hating my team for that. I know it's not their fault and not their responsibility to take interest in my life, it's just… they all have someone. I have just them.

I didn't speak at all for a few days. When I don't use my voice for too long, it starts to sound weird. Meh.
Haven't seen a lot of boss perspective on this site. Mostly it's just employees having problems with their boss. Welp, being boss sucks as much, I guess. Endless responsibilities, people ditching you at the last moment, projects failing deadlines for fucking stupid reasons.
I have managed to keep my composure for 8 years now with a few exceptions of having straight up public meltdowns. But I swear to God, I'm at my limit.

 

[Raindancer]

It's hard when the buck stops with you.i got lucky in that my assistant and most of my team was good, but of course there were the ones who tried to do as little as possible, cause all kinds of trouble and just were a royal pain in the ass. In all honesty, a lot of the time I felt like a baby sitter. And it's gotten so much worse, I really feel for you. Plus being in another country has got to add so many other dimensions to the situation. I am sorry you are lonely. Colleagues can be great, but usually they are not close friends. Do you have any hobbies or things you like to do outside work where you could meet other people with similar interests, or do you work most of the time? I worked 7 days a week and travelled so my work was pretty much it. Do you get vacations, can you take a break to just get away for awhile. I know it won't help,in the long term, but maybe in the short term.

 

[struggles_inc]

I felt like a baby sitter

So so true. And I try my hardest to keep the 'trust culture' up in my team, so people are comfortable sharing stuff with me and so on. Sometimes this backfires so hard I regret I do this. Like one time one guy in the IT department fucked up all of his deadlines and I had to listen to his story about his girlfriend dumping him… on the day my pet died.

my work was pretty much it

I do get vacations, but… I think my business is the only reason I live, so it really helps only short-term.

 

[Raindancer]

S. Like one time one guy in the IT department fucked up all of his deadlines and I had to listen to his story about his girlfriend dumping him… on the day my pet died.

Exactly, they get so used to venting to you that they forget you have a life, challenges and heart aches too! I can honestly say I do not miss it, and I don't think I would ever want to be in management or over people again. O