Almost there

[RyanSuicide]

You probably should not try this method as failure rate is high although I do empathise with your suffering I do not want you to feel like more of a failure than you already do when your attempt fucks up. There are easier ways

 

[Floraknife]

@ReadyasEver i love you to bits for this - this is the kindest thing and you are lovely.

See, Florabunny, no-one wants you to take yourself onto the mean old streets of Michigan, curl up in a doorway and risk all sorts of grim things happening to you. You are far too special for that.

And, besides, in a few short weeks your fiancé will come after us with a shovel!

Before people start slamming me for being a "gatekeeper" - I'm not. I'm pro choice. But this feels like putting a cat to sleep because you're going on holiday.

Hope you got some sleep, darling girl xx

Xxxx

You're a very kind soul, I adore that about you, but Ann Arbor is basically the kids' table town of Michigan, I'll likely be left alone. And I'm certainly not special, I've made choices in life that landed me here, it wasn't all random circumstance.

He doesn't get out until May... And I've taken precautions to make sure he knows there is nothing he could have done and this is in no way his fault. It's a natural part of life, quite literally, this happens to people on the streets all the time. Not that it SHOULD, our society is massively fucked up, but it's the way it is, in all reality. I'm just lucky enough to have a bit of internet before I go. I do wish I could say goodbye to him properly... answered his call for the first time in a month tonight, just so he knows I'm here and I love him, and got another call a minute after that saying if I accepted it would be free of charge. But I couldn't bring myself to accept. That's when I realized I already made my choice to leave. I only wish him peace from here on out, and I hope he knows I'm sorry.

Thank you for caring, for what it's worth. <3

 

[Floraknife]

You probably should not try this method as failure rate is high although I do empathise with your suffering I do not want you to feel like more of a failure than you already do when your attempt fucks up. There are easier ways

Thank you for the input, but failure is literally impossible for me unless it rains heavily or a stranger force feeds me a sandwich.

 

[Floraknife]

Thank you and take a deep breathe. We all are here under dire circumstances, different, but nonetheless serious. I hope you can find some comfort and peace to chart your course.

I'm as uncomfortable in a plush bed as I am sitting in a wet gutter, these days, to be honest. Comfort doesn't mean much, but thank you. I have a feeling peace will find me soon enough if I don't find it first. :)

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I am so sorry you are resorting to this. Really am. I'd survived the unsurvivable over the last few years and can deeply relate. There were many days when I just wanted to slip and go and leave this place. But things have gotten marginally better. Still horrible, but not an immediate crisis. Things may get better just enough so you don't have to do this. I have a feeling that if it got just a touch better for you, you'd give it all another chance. Good luck.

 

[Guess]

I hope you find your peace. We all love youu

 

[Floraknife]

Update: I found a place in the boiler room I could fix up a noose and some rope out back, if I can get the knots right and the rope holds my weight I think I'll be going for full suspension instead. I still have to wait to get the 1,4b because someone's likely to open the package eventually and I don't want it to be traced to methods of ctb. Anyway I'll keep you guys posted, thank you for the love and support. It means the world right now

 

[ReadyasEver]

In whatever you decide, safe journey to the end.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Update: I found a place in the boiler room I could fix up a noose and some rope out back, if I can get the knots right and the rope holds my weight I think I'll be going for full suspension instead. I still have to wait to get the 1,4b because someone's likely to open the package eventually and I don't want it to be traced to methods of ctb. Anyway I'll keep you guys posted, thank you for the love and support. It means the world right now

Dear Flora-Bella, so glad to hear from you - you're the type of girl that gets under someone's skin! (In a good way ) please keep us posted with your plans whatever they may be. You can do anything you want. Remember that. Take care honey xx

 

[Floraknife]

I love you guys.
Just to be sure, I've actually tried out the partial method with the rope I have, and have nearly made myself pass out within ~20 seconds both times, so I'm planning on giving my all to this method tonight. Gonna take Benadryl, smoke some weed, then relax into the rope and hopefully pass out. It will likely be a few days until anyone finds me, only once my letters have been received. I wasn't expecting to go so soon but my circumstances are only worsening by the day, so I'm making my peace with it. Thank you guys for being here for me I really have never felt so accepted and understood without having to explain myself. Happy to have been a part of this community even if it was only for a little while <3 and I sincerely wish you all the best

 

[Floraknife]

Here are some songs that are running through my head.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

Before you go Floraknife, just please consider if you are 100% sure. I have tried a similar technique in the past, but I wasn't 100% sure and the survival instinct kicked in every time, hard. Not writing this to influence you in any way. It just feels to me that a person needs to get to that place from the place of being very very sure of what they want. That's all. Sincerely wish you the best.

 

[MistakesHappen]

Glad to know that you chose a more peaceful method Flora, send you all the hugs i have, thank you for sharing with us and, again, for being part of this big and vast family. Good-bye Friend <3

 

[Floraknife]

Before you go Floraknife, just please consider if you are 100% sure. I have tried a similar technique in the past, but I wasn't 100% sure and the survival instinct kicked in every time, hard. Not writing this to influence you in any way. It just feels to me that a person needs to get to that place from the place of being very very sure of what they want. That's all. Sincerely wish you the best.

I appreciate you, and yes, I am sure. I'm sad for who I'm leaving behind, but in myself, I am sure. I feel like I'm living on borrowed time. It's long past my time, things just keep popping up to keep me here. Thank you for asking. SI doesn't kick in for me at all - the longer I am into my partial attempt, the harder it's been for me to get myself back out. I'm ready to go. <3

 

[Floraknife]

Glad to know that you chose a more peaceful method Flora, send you all the hugs i have, thank you for sharing with us and, again, for being part of this big and vast family. Good-bye Friend <3

Thank you so much, I'm hugging you in my head right now, too. (Found some change for 1 last bottle of vodka so I'm drinking a bit before I go, my setup was prepared beforehand.) You are so sweet! God I can't get over how compassionate this community is. Even when I feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world, talking to someone on here never fails to at least make me feel human. And that is treasured, with how isolated and agonized I am in life, generally. Good bye friend <3<3

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I appreciate you, and yes, I am sure. I'm sad for who I'm leaving behind, but in myself, I am sure. I feel like I'm living on borrowed time. It's long past my time, things just keep popping up to keep me here. Thank you for asking. SI doesn't kick in for me at all - the longer I am into my partial attempt, the harder it's been for me to get myself back out. I'm ready to go. <3

I understand. Thank you for the songs you've shared. I especially like the Conor Oberst one. This is one of my old favorites. It is bringing me some peace tonight.

 

[Floraknife]

I understand. Thank you for the songs you've shared. I especially like the Conor Oberst one. This is one of my old favorites. It is bringing me some peace tonight.

Hey, I got some time before I need to bite it, please share your musical recommendations with me! Those first two were mostly lyrics that resonated with how I'm feeling, if we're sharing soul-touching/destroying songs, I got a whole arsenal. :)

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

 

[Floraknife]

I was so close. I was past the point of pain of a partial, I was to the point it would've been easier to give in than to write this post*". But I felt I wanted to write something more - No one changes by Conor Oberst and an apology for myself

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I was so close. I was past the point of pain of a partial, I was to the point it would've been easier to give in than to write this post*". But I felt I wanted to write something more - No one changes by Conor Oberst and an apology for myself

Thank you. Listening to the song.

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I like the lyrics. Especially this part:

They say you got to love yourself first, that's a trip
I've been hating myself since I was a little kid
I know it's sad that the game's rained out
And all the bleachers emptied out and the turnstiles spin
All the good ones in the world they keep dropping dead
Everybody's got a bullet flying at their head
I seen it coming, man, I seen it coming
I seen it coming, no

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

The angry boy a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight, you're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong
Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say, "Put the past away"

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

Well he's on the table and he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they're doing here
And your friends have left you, you've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know
Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today, you could put the past away

 

[JustAboutDone]

Sweetest Flora, thank you for the music and for sharing it Xxxxx

 

[ThinkingAboutThis]

 

[JustAboutDone]

If you are gone, FloraBella, may you no longer be tired and have the peace you long for. I wish you nothing but everlasting love and happiness forever. I won't forget you and I look forward to meeting you, with love

 

[BellaKAT]

In a house, by myself
I hear the ice start to melt
And I'll watch rooftops weep for the sunlight
And I know what must change
Fuck my face, fuck my name
They are brief and false advertisements
For a soul I don't have
Something true I have lacked
And spent my whole life trying to make up for

<3

 

[OkTotti]

RIP

 

[GeorgeEastman]

Always envious as hell of these. People with more brains and determination than I have. They know it's over and are taking action. They've had enough.