imperfectcircle
Member
- Mar 28, 2026
- 15
Honestly I'm barely sure what happened. It wasn't even supposed to be an attempt to ctb, I was just feeling miserable and the idea of practicing and getting a head rush was enticing. So (in the middle of a convo/argument with my bf) I practiced partial hanging.
It was only supposed to be for a second, I was going to answer his next text. I figured I wouldn't lose full consciousness just like all the other times. My last message to him was 7:46 pm, and at 7:54 pm he called me as soon as I woke up on the floor.
My experience was interesting. As I said, I genuienly wasnt ready yet. Fuck and I feel terrible that I definitely traumatized him. I feel like I lost consciousness immediately, I must have hit the best possible spot. Then at some point (I'm assuming the rope fell?) I felt like I was dreaming. It was like one of those dreams where you can't run or breathe because you're scared. I couldn't move at all, and I felt a pulsing tingling everywhere. It was almost like I was in a giant black room with white stars that were tingling. Then I realized I couldn't breathe, however I had no fucking clue what was happening, I genuinely thought I was dreaming and had no recollection of the fact that I was hanging. I tried my absolute hardest to breathe, but I couldn't. So I tried to move but I couldn't at all. With every failed breath I was attempting to move, and eventually (I'd say it felt like 30 secs to a minute) I could start feeling the floor and my legs. I could finally move and open my eyes and eventually I could breathe again. I woke up on the floor, covered in sweat (and drool or snot I think??). It finally hit me what happened after I woke up and my bf was calling me. Fuck me dude. The tip of my tongue is numb, my head hurts like hell, my entire face is red and purple with popped blood vessels. My eyes have popped blood vessels too. I cannot go out in public. I mean shit other than that I'm alive I guess. I'm not gonna lie, I wish it worked! I'd much rather that than this miserable ass outcome. I had to listen to my bf sob on the phone and then go tell his mom i attempted to kill myself. Fuck it was an accident, I'm truly such an idiot for practicing like that in the middle of convo and not being careful.
Insane experience, I've never felt anything like it. I keep wondering, if I didn't wake myself up would I be here? Idk tho lmk, the rope must've had to fall so I probably would've just given myself brain damage or something. I'm just praying I didn't do any serious damage to my body. My relationship is probably fucked tho unfortunately. Before anyone tells me I'm an idiot, I am WELL AWARE! I already got to listen to endless "why didn't you talk to me?! now i have to watch you 24/7?! i can never forgive you for this" etc. I'm just tired, but now I'm watching yt and hitting the bong with someone staying w me cuz Im not trusted alone. Can't say that experience made me want to ctb less, but it complicated things fs. Just a fucking unfortunate experience, I would've rather ctb and been in peace than berated and having to take care of someone else cuz they're traumatized.
Anyways that's my experience
It was only supposed to be for a second, I was going to answer his next text. I figured I wouldn't lose full consciousness just like all the other times. My last message to him was 7:46 pm, and at 7:54 pm he called me as soon as I woke up on the floor.
My experience was interesting. As I said, I genuienly wasnt ready yet. Fuck and I feel terrible that I definitely traumatized him. I feel like I lost consciousness immediately, I must have hit the best possible spot. Then at some point (I'm assuming the rope fell?) I felt like I was dreaming. It was like one of those dreams where you can't run or breathe because you're scared. I couldn't move at all, and I felt a pulsing tingling everywhere. It was almost like I was in a giant black room with white stars that were tingling. Then I realized I couldn't breathe, however I had no fucking clue what was happening, I genuinely thought I was dreaming and had no recollection of the fact that I was hanging. I tried my absolute hardest to breathe, but I couldn't. So I tried to move but I couldn't at all. With every failed breath I was attempting to move, and eventually (I'd say it felt like 30 secs to a minute) I could start feeling the floor and my legs. I could finally move and open my eyes and eventually I could breathe again. I woke up on the floor, covered in sweat (and drool or snot I think??). It finally hit me what happened after I woke up and my bf was calling me. Fuck me dude. The tip of my tongue is numb, my head hurts like hell, my entire face is red and purple with popped blood vessels. My eyes have popped blood vessels too. I cannot go out in public. I mean shit other than that I'm alive I guess. I'm not gonna lie, I wish it worked! I'd much rather that than this miserable ass outcome. I had to listen to my bf sob on the phone and then go tell his mom i attempted to kill myself. Fuck it was an accident, I'm truly such an idiot for practicing like that in the middle of convo and not being careful.
Insane experience, I've never felt anything like it. I keep wondering, if I didn't wake myself up would I be here? Idk tho lmk, the rope must've had to fall so I probably would've just given myself brain damage or something. I'm just praying I didn't do any serious damage to my body. My relationship is probably fucked tho unfortunately. Before anyone tells me I'm an idiot, I am WELL AWARE! I already got to listen to endless "why didn't you talk to me?! now i have to watch you 24/7?! i can never forgive you for this" etc. I'm just tired, but now I'm watching yt and hitting the bong with someone staying w me cuz Im not trusted alone. Can't say that experience made me want to ctb less, but it complicated things fs. Just a fucking unfortunate experience, I would've rather ctb and been in peace than berated and having to take care of someone else cuz they're traumatized.
Anyways that's my experience
