Venting almost succeeded and it scared me

[clawsprit]

had my most successful attempt yet and it scared the shit out of me. i wasnt ready i was just trying to practice my method and i started losing consciousness. stopped as soon as i noticed. im so scared of death and i dont know what to do. i need to die so bad but im so fucking scared

 

[knowledgeseeking]

Nitrogen? I did the same and didn't like the sensation at all. Still have all the gear, but going to try something else.

 

[Unseenteardrop]

Nitrogen? I did the same and didn't like the sensation at all. Still have all the gear, but going to try something else.

Do you mind elaborating on that as it's one of the methods I'm looking into

 

[clawsprit]

Nitrogen? I did the same and didn't like the sensation at all. Still have all the gear, but going to try something else.

for me partial hanging. wishing you the best in life man

 

[Jello Biafra]

had my most successful attempt yet and it scared the shit out of me. i wasnt ready i was just trying to practice my method and i started losing consciousness. stopped as soon as i noticed. im so scared of death and i dont know what to do. i need to die so bad but im so fucking scared

I'm really sorry you are kind of caught between 2 worlds.

You don't have to answer if it is uncomfortable at all, but can you explain why you need to die so badly? I'm not at all suggesting your reasoning is invalid, however maybe you are scared to die because you aren't truly ready to die?

While I don't believe this any more, I remember asking my dad when I was a little kid what it was like to die and I'll never forget his answer. He said "do you remember the year 1922?". Of course I said "no" and he answered "well, it's just like that".

I've never been religious or grew up around that kind of thing, but I've since had an experience with my wife right after she passed away. It convinced me, without any question, that death is not the end. Nor is it a strange or foreign environment. In fact, physical existence is the strange environment we find ourselves in.

I'm curious, are you scared of going to hell or something like that?

 

[kitkatt]

had my most successful attempt yet and it scared the shit out of me. i wasnt ready i was just trying to practice my method and i started losing consciousness. stopped as soon as i noticed. im so scared of death and i dont know what to do. i need to die so bad but im so fucking

The fear is part of survival. I'm remembering so many times I was so close to death and I feel like remember it always being me who saved myself. Maybe I don't want to save myself anymore because it wasn't me last time it was my roommate. My friend. My family. I hate leaving one more hurt person behind but I think she she's me for what I am and she'll understand when I do go. I was drowning in my bath tub and stupidly enough I had to tell her I was okay. If I still lived alone I wouldn't be dealing with any of this that would've been my ticket. Not mad at her maybe at little mad at the us and how expensive crap is tho. I hope you find your peace no matter how you find it it's hard out here

 

[COP2CON]

Did the same thing at county testing if a low anchor point would work. Its a scary feeling.

 

[clawsprit]

I'm really sorry you are kind of caught between 2 worlds.

You don't have to answer if it is uncomfortable at all, but can you explain why you need to die so badly? I'm not at all suggesting your reasoning is invalid, however maybe you are scared to die because you aren't truly ready to die?

While I don't believe this any more, I remember asking my dad when I was a little kid what it was like to die and I'll never forget his answer. He said "do you remember the year 1922?". Of course I said "no" and he answered "well, it's just like that".

I've never been religious or grew up around that kind of thing, but I've since had an experience with my wife right after she passed away. It convinced me, without any question, that death is not the end. Nor is it a strange or foreign environment. In fact, physical existence is the strange environment we find ourselves in.

I'm curious, are you scared of going to hell or something like that?

'You don't have to answer if it is uncomfortable at all, but can you explain why you need to die so badly?'
im an 18yo NEET, no real friends, i live under my abusive dad who doesnt allow me to get a job or leave the house, i cant see myself ever getting out of this situation on my own. i would like to live, move out, experience life but its just not an option for me. im in misery every day of my life and i just dont want to deal with the pain anymore.
'I'm curious, are you scared of going to hell or something like that?'
i dont believe in hell or heaven but i mildly believe in spirits
i think some part of me deep down is still clinging onto hope for life which is why its so difficult for me to commit to CTB.
and im so sorry about your wife :(

 

[wine is fine but]

'You don't have to answer if it is uncomfortable at all, but can you explain why you need to die so badly?'
im an 18yo NEET, no real friends, i live under my abusive dad who doesnt allow me to get a job or leave the house, i cant see myself ever getting out of this situation on my own. i would like to live, move out, experience life but its just not an option for me. im in misery every day of my life and i just dont want to deal with the pain anymore.
'I'm curious, are you scared of going to hell or something like that?'
i dont believe in hell or heaven but i mildly believe in spirits
i think some part of me deep down is still clinging onto hope for life which is why its so difficult for me to commit to CTB.
and im so sorry about your wife :(

you will not want to hear this, so i am sorry if it annoys you or makes you uncomfortable - i believe i do have an understanding on your situation, but

you are so young, but more importantly (in my view) your posts seem to have a maturity about them that most people 20 years older than you do not have

i do not know about your exact situation, but i felt in a hopeless situation possibly similar to yourself at that age until 25. i could not stand my father. i had to learn martial arts to protect (or at the very least stop the threat of being hit from behind) myself from him. i slept with nunchaku under my pillow at times. not only did i live in his house, but worked for him too, so had no chance of leaving. finding a home and a job on the same day, and then trying to ignore the prick afterwards would have been impossible. fortunately he moved to another state when i was 25 in 1994. we stopped talking the next year. he made an attempt at reconciliation at the grand prix in 98, and i gave him a chance, more because my step mum was critically ill with cancer and it gave me some contact with her. 2 months of strained diplomacy and i have not spoken to him in 28 years. he approached me from behind at the grand prix in 99. he knew with formula 1 cars on the track that i would have no interest in him, or anything else at all, so threatened me about how weak i was and how he "oughta hit me" and then slunk off into the distance like the weak wife bashing arsehole he is. it was the best thing he could have done, because while i knew he was afraid of me, when you ran from someone for 22 years, you will, always doubt yourself, but that day proved that he was chicken shit of me. the next year, with 70,000 people at the grand prix, we were somehow standing in a merchandise tent 2 foot away from each other. for the first time in my life, i just stared him down. it was very liberating. i walked away from that tent very slowly to give him every chance to catch up to me if he was brave enough. my girlfriend at the time just saw my face, and how slow i was walking and had no idea what was happening

your situation may not change, but it might. i know from personal experience that you can be more than happy to drop dead at any time, but still be content to live until that great day happens - i hope you choose what ever is best for you, whatever that may be