almost seriously tried not too long ago

[loserr]

i got curious so i was doing my research on basic otc stuff and found out with my weight 120 ibuprofen was a lethal dose. i had/have 300-400 and one night i felt an ungodly strong urge to just take as many as i could, i swallowed one, two, six, and another six before i realized i was trying something crazy. it's not just that i am real damn fucked and wanted to die, it might be more that i had such a hell bent urge on taking them. can't explain it. it got rid of any fear i had of dying but my gf or friend snapped me out of it. before it got bad. the next day i was arguing with my friend because he said 15 could kill you. dumbass. then i showed him myself taking another 15 within 17 hours. sure it's not gonna kill me, it didn't even have any effects. but jesus. imagine if it was something bad i was taking like that. i know ibuprofen and OD is unreliable in general, but a couple lethal doses had to do it wether it sucked or not.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it sounds like trying to attempt anything like that would just lead to more suffering, if that was a reliable method that can be used for suicide then it wouldn't be so accessible. But anyway to me it's really understandable just wishing to be gone, I just hate how suicide isn't more straightforward.