Discussion All or nothing?

[WorthlessTrash]

Anyone else just ruminate about having their ideal lives and/or their ideal set of circumstances and won't settle for anything less and that is why you're here?

I really just want to be an attractive cis woman start to finish, or at the very least average looking. I know transitioning is an option for me, but I don't think I will pass, I don't want to invest the time and money in a grueling process when I will be in my 40s by the time it ends, and I just don't want to compromise with life on this.

Anyone feel similar about settling and that's why you don't want to recover?

 

[Doom]

so much effort so that in the end happiness is not guaranteed, because there are so many other problems I cannot fix, just accept. I was perfectly fine before my life happened and so I see no reason to just "accept" or even struggle for it.

 

[mateodolores]

Absolutely.

In my fantasies, I'm a gorgeous cis man with an amazing family and friends, no trauma, no physical and mental pain — just the most perfect life you could ever dream of.

Unfortunately, I'm the product of some drug-induced shallow partnership between two people who were way too broken to find each other.

Like you, I don't think I'll ever pass, nor do I really want to because I look like my father already and if I ever get on T, I'll definitely look just like him. Even if I didn't, I also don't want to spend all my money and time on transitioning. I don't have a support system. I grew up in a fundamentalist household and was even part of a cult in my childhood. Not to mention the fact that trans people get the shortest end of the stick. We're seen as all sorts of awful things and shunned from society. Maybe it's getting better, but there is a lot of pushback and outrage that I'm not in the mood for dealing with as a trans person.

I really don't like being trans at all (no hate to the rest of the community. I just personally hate having dysphoria and feeling the need to transition.) Although, even if I was a cis man, my life wouldn't have been any better due to my SZ and other disabilities.


Sorry for the rant...

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Absolutely.

In my fantasies, I'm a gorgeous cis man with an amazing family and friends, no trauma, no physical and mental pain — just the most perfect life you could ever dream of.

Unfortunately, I'm the product of some drug-induced shallow partnership between two people who were way too broken to find each other.

Like you, I don't think I'll ever pass, nor do I really want to because I look like my father already and if I ever get on T, I'll definitely look just like him. Even if I didn't, I also don't want to spend all my money and time on transitioning. I don't have a support system. I grew up in a fundamentalist household and was even part of a cult in my childhood. Not to mention the fact that trans people get the shortest end of the stick. We're seen as all sorts of awful things and shunned from society. Maybe it's getting better, but there is a lot of pushback and outrage that I'm not in the mood for dealing with as a trans person.

I really don't like being trans at all (no hate to the rest of the community. I just personally hate having dysphoria and feeling the need to transition.) Although, even if I was a cis man, my life wouldn't have been any better due to my SZ and other disabilities.


Sorry for the rant...

Ah, so you are AFAB. If only body swapping existed, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I am very sorry that we were both born in the wrong bodies.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, although not for the same reasons. I don't enjoy being female but I don't have a desire to be anything else. I'm sorry that you suffer from this. It must be awful to feel entirely at odds with your body.

For me, my obsession is my creative work. It has been my coping mechanism to get through this far. It's so hard to sustain financially though and I'm also so sick of being exploited. So many firms expect you to work for low or no pay because you happen to enjoy what you do (nevermind that you spent an equal- if not more money on the courses to better your skills.)

I also know that I'm not good enough to do really well and I'm not great at working around others (creatively)- lack of confidence magnified by social anxiety.

I know I need to look for a regular job. I'm begrudgingly doing that now but I HATE it all. I know it's spoilt of me but my work is my life and my purpose. I simply see no point in working some shit job for just about enough money to survive on when I don't even want to survive.

 

[mateodolores]

Ah, so you are AFAB. If only body swapping existed, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I am very sorry that we were both born in the wrong bodies.

Same! Although, you don't want this body lmao. It's been put through some insane stuff.

There's no need to be sorry. We couldn't help it after all.

 

[Doom]

Ah, so you are AFAB. If only body swapping existed, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I am very sorry that we were both born in the wrong bodies.

Do you feel like you were born in the wrong era? I do, sometimes I fantasize about going into coma and waking up a century later. Maybe in 2100 and up if humanity hasn't self-terminated it's possible that technology is so advanced that we can change any part of our body , that would be crazy.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Do you feel like you were born in the wrong era? I do, sometimes I fantasize about going into coma and waking up a century later. Maybe in 2100 and up if humanity hasn't self-terminated it's possible that technology is so advanced that we can change any part of our body , that would be crazy.

I feel like I was born the wrong sex and I desire to be female. Unfortunately this era further validates my wishes because in this era with the epitome of "women empowerment" further solidifies how great it is to be a woman. Attractive, freedom to express and own your sexuality, being able to use pretty privilage to your advantage (I am aware that men apparently get it too, BUT I don't like the male body and would never consider men being attractive, so it does not resonate with me. My dislike for the male body and my partiality towards the female body is where my dysphoria mainly stems from), and the fact that women have so many ways to customize their body and appearance. It just seems that asides from the likelihood of them being harassed by creeps and being insecure, being a woman (especially attractive) is just more fun. being a male is just bland and boring and asides from my hate towards the male anatomy as a whole, masculinity is cringe to me.

 

[Doom]

I feel like I was born the wrong sex and I desire to be female. Unfortunately this era further validates my wishes because in this era with the epitome of "women empowerment" further solidifies how great it is to be a woman. Attractive, freedom to express and own your sexuality, being able to use pretty privilage to your advantage (I am aware that men apparently get it too, BUT I don't like the male body and would never consider men being attractive, so it does not resonate with me. My dislike for the male body and my partiality towards the female body is where my dysphoria mainly stems from), and the fact that women have so many ways to customize their body and appearance. It just seems that asides from the likelihood of them being harassed by creeps and being insecure, being a woman (especially attractive) is just more fun. being a male is just bland and boring and asides from my hate towards the male anatomy as a whole, masculinity is cringe to me.

yeah, being a man sucks, I guess it always has been like that. Sometimes i feel envious of all the rewards women get these days just by being pretty and sometimes I also wish I could paint my nails or wear makeup, but then I would draw nasty attention or be seen as effeminate. I have no attachment to male biology, but I have no aversion either. I would adapt as either a man or a woman, the important is to be beautiful and a healthy brain that is not ruined by mental illnesses.

hey op, do you like manga? I'm reading one called Juukyuusai no Seifuku and your way of thinking resembles one of the protagonists. if you like manga u may like this one.

 

[murphyy]

I feel like I was born the wrong sex and I desire to be female. Unfortunately this era further validates my wishes because in this era with the epitome of "women empowerment" further solidifies how great it is to be a woman. Attractive, freedom to express and own your sexuality, being able to use pretty privilage to your advantage (I am aware that men apparently get it too, BUT I don't like the male body and would never consider men being attractive, so it does not resonate with me. My dislike for the male body and my partiality towards the female body is where my dysphoria mainly stems from), and the fact that women have so many ways to customize their body and appearance. It just seems that asides from the likelihood of them being harassed by creeps and being insecure, being a woman (especially attractive) is just more fun. being a male is just bland and boring and asides from my hate towards the male anatomy as a whole, masculinity is cringe to me.

I'm not gonna address most of your points, but do you really think being a woman is more fun? Try saying that to the women being raped and killed in Iran. Hell, anywhere that isn't the first world country. And shit like that happens there, too.

I'm sorry for being so harsh, but it just sounds like you have a very... superficial concept of what womanhood is. Which is very far from reality.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I'm not gonna address most of your points, but do you really think being a woman is more fun? Try saying that to the women being raped and killed in Iran. Hell, anywhere that isn't the first world country. And shit like that happens there, too.

I'm sorry for being so harsh, but it just sounds like you have a very... superficial concept of what womanhood is. Which is very far from reality.

1. Women aren't the only gender to get murdered and raped, though they are more likely to. I agree with that.
2. My reason for wanting to be a woman is not a social issue one, and more of a self image one (also caused my disgust towards my body). EDIT: I should add the points in the above post are added benefits to it, but mainly not having disgust towards my body.


I really hate when people bring up women being raped as a way to try to counter my feelings of dysphoria, because not only do I feel it invalidates my dysphoria, but I also have to look like a jackass by bringing up something equally irrelevant to my problem when I mention point 1 above :/

But no, I would not say that to them. However, that's not an issue with their assigned sex. That's an issue with the people who are doing it, which shouldn't happen in the first place as I think we both can agree on.
And if we're going to veer on the topic of issues with being certain sexes, men are more likely to be falsely accused of rape, especially during the "Men Too" movement.

Both sexes have their downsides, but it doesn't diminish my dysphoria. You also aren't the first person to argue this to me, and probably won't be the last (unless I somehow CTB before then), but it doesn't change the fact that I hate being male.

Asides from the terrible things that happen to women in regards to your point as well the ones I mentioned in my post above, I feel like being female is better for me than being male. Being male is just so bland and boring, and the male body is disgusting to me. Your argument also makes me want to be male even less because I don't want to share the same sex as the ones who do shit like that.

Also you are right. I don't know what womanhood is, because I am not a woman, which is my entire problem. I don't choose to feel this way, but dysphoria is a bitch.

 

[murphyy]

1. Women aren't the only gender to get murdered and raped, though they are more likely to. I agree with that.
2. My reason for wanting to be a woman is not a social issue one, and more of a self image one (also caused my disgust towards my body). EDIT: I should add the points in the above post are added benefits to it, but mainly not having disgust towards my body.


I really hate when people bring up women being raped as a way to try to counter my feelings of dysphoria, because not only do I feel it invalidates my dysphoria, but I also have to look like a jackass by bringing up something equally irrelevant to my problem when I mention point 1 above :/

But no, I would not say that to them. However, that's not an issue with their assigned sex. That's an issue with the people who are doing it, which shouldn't happen in the first place as I think we both can agree on.
And if we're going to veer on the topic of issues with being certain sexes, men are more likely to be falsely accused of rape, especially during the "Men Too" movement.

Both sexes have their downsides, but it doesn't diminish my dysphoria. You also aren't the first person to argue this to me, and probably won't be the last (unless I somehow CTB before then), but it doesn't change the fact that I hate being male.

Asides from the terrible things that happen to women in regards to your point as well the ones I mentioned in my post above, I feel like being female is better for me than being male. Being male is just so bland and boring, and the male body is disgusting to me. Your argument also makes me want to be male even less because I don't want to share the same sex as the ones who do shit like that.

Also you are right. I don't know what womanhood is, because I am not a woman, which is my entire problem. I don't choose to feel this way, but dysphoria is a bitch.

Men are more likely to be falsely accused of rape because the vast majority of rapists are men. I'm aware that false accusations happen, and rare as they might be, they can ruin lives.

And don't take my post too personally. I just see red when people claim that being a woman is easier/better.
Overall, everyone's entitled to their opinion, I guess. We can only speak from the experience of one of the sexes, so our answers are gonna be kinda biased anyway xd

I've been dysphoric since puberty myself. I know how much it sucks. I hope you find peace.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Men are more likely to be falsely accused of rape because the vast majority of rapists are men. I'm aware that false accusations happen, and rare as they might be, they can ruin lives.

And don't take my post too personally. I just see red when people claim that being a woman is easier/better.
Overall, everyone's entitled to their opinion, I guess. We can only speak from the experience of one of the sexes, so our answers are gonna be kinda biased anyway xd

I've been dysphoric since puberty myself. I know how much it sucks. I hope you find peace.

If it's any consolation to you, I did not find your first post offensive. You were rather respectful with it, so thank you for that :) I am sorry we both feel dysphoric. It really sucks.

 

[Doom]

Men are more likely to be falsely accused of rape because the vast majority of rapists are men. I'm aware that false accusations happen, and rare as they might be, they can ruin lives.

And don't take my post too personally. I just see red when people claim that being a woman is easier/better.
Overall, everyone's entitled to their opinion, I guess. We can only speak from the experience of one of the sexes, so our answers are gonna be kinda biased anyway xd

I've been dysphoric since puberty myself. I know how much it sucks. I hope you find peace.

I doubt they are rare. A lot of men must be falsely accused of rape thanks to feminist movements like "me too", which creates a lot of idiotic criteria to give vengeful women the opportunity to accuse their sexual partners of harassment and rape. The worst part its almost impossible to prove statically how much this is happening, since we will never know that the accusations were really false or true. What we do know is that if a woman opens her mouth against a man on social networks he will be guilty until he prove innocent and given how cruel people are I have no doubt that false accusations are happening a lot more than you think.

 

[nifii]

I'm also like all or nothing. I guess it's true when people say happiness comes from within. You have to make peace with yourself unconditionally in able to get rid of suffering. However i find it hard to do so. I don't wanna make peace with health issues and all my fuck ups eventho i somewhere know thats probably the only way for a fulfilling life.

 

[ineverlived]

When I was a kid my biggest fear was to be an ordinary person. I'm not even ordinary now.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Yes, compromising sucks. Why should we have to cope with what reality gives us? I've never heard a good answer for that - and really, there isn't one.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

The all or nothing philosophy should certainly get you to that ctb place, since all is never really achievable for anyone. The heart wants what the heart wants. Always and still sorry you find yourself where you are in this life. I wish things were different for both of us.

 

[No longer suicidal😁]

The all or nothing philosophy should certainly get you to that ctb place, since all is never really achievable for anyone. The heart wants what the heart wants. Always and still sorry you find yourself where you are in this life. I wish things were different for both of us.

The all or nothing might not be achievable 100% but being close to the 100% helps. I believe that the farther away a person is from his/her ideal life the more miserable they are. The people around me who encourage me to continue to live do have a life that is close to their ideal one and this is why they are happy and enjoying their time being alive. I, however, live a life that's nothing like what I wished for. This is why therapy and anti-depressants are not working for me because I'm not willing to compromise.

 

[makethepainstop]

Anyone else just ruminate about having their ideal lives and/or their ideal set of circumstances and won't settle for anything less and that is why you're here?

I really just want to be an attractive cis woman start to finish, or at the very least average looking. I know transitioning is an option for me, but I don't think I will pass, I don't want to invest the time and money in a grueling process when I will be in my 40s by the time it ends, and I just don't want to compromise with life on this.

Anyone feel similar about settling and that's why you don't want to recover?

There is no way known to science or religion that can make my 6'8 blond hair, blue-eyed, with an uber-rich family that loves me above all else. So dying is going to be like playing black jack. Time for a new shuffle, and new life!

 

[Lucilius]

I wouldn't mind being a non-attractive cis woman. That would be infinitely better than being trapped as a man like I am now.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I wouldn't mind being a non-attractive cis woman. That would be infinitely better than being trapped as a man like I am now.

I am assuming that much like me, you will not transition. In that case, may I ask what your reasons are for not doing so?

 

[Lucilius]

I am assuming that much like me, you will not transition. In that case, may I ask what your reasons are for not doing so?

Depends what you mean by not transitioning. I'm not planning anything. I do what I can at every given moment, which is not much. I can take HRT so I do it. I can't transition socially, so I don't. There is nothing I could do that would result in me transitioning socially (at best I would be transitioning into a full time crossdresser), so there is no choice involved in that.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

yep my main reason is i just want to have a normal penis and feel like a normal man.

i have a micropenis, and i fantasize how nice it must be just to not worry about it, have a bulge in my pants, be naked with confidence, flirt with women and have sex, people have no idea how a penis size can destroy the experience of being a man, let alone a non functional micropenis.

I know there is surgery but i would have rather had a biological average or bigger penis.

The surgery is just skin cut from the thigh and molded around a cylinder.

I just want to be born a normal fucking man and not worry about this, it affects my life in so many ways.

because i can not have a normal bio penis id rather be dead .

 

[WorthlessTrash]

yep my main reason is i just want to have a normal penis and feel like a normal man.

i have a micropenis, and i fantasize how nice it must be just to not worry about it, have a bulge in my pants, be naked with confidence, flirt with women and have sex, people have no idea how a penis size can destroy the experience of being a man, let alone a non functional micropenis.

I know there is surgery but i would have rather had a biological average or bigger penis.

The surgery is just skin cut from the thigh and molded around a cylinder.

I just want to be born a normal fucking man and not worry about this, it affects my life in so many ways.

because i can not have a normal bio penis id rather be dead .

Not going to lie. I see another benefit of being female over male is not having to do with the risk of being born with a micropenis or have ED. I envy people who don't have to deal with this.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Not going to lie. I see another benefit of being female over male is not having to do with the risk of being born with a micropenis or have ED. I envy people who don't have to deal with this.

yeah ive had suggestions to transition to female before, i can understand the logic but im no female. I rather just be the way i am but with a normal penis.

 

[Doom]

yeah ive had suggestions to transition to female before, i can understand the logic but im no female. I rather just be the way i am but with a normal penis.

having a small bulgh is one of the worst things that can happen to a guy. As a man, you might even have a decent body and a nice face, but if your bottom is not decent, then you're going to be a limited guy. Speaking of my own experience: Some women may say that size doesn't matter, but eventually they will get tired of my physical limitations and will miss something else, opening up more opportunities for cheating or discontent. There are several positions that a small penis cannot perform, such as standing or carrying. It will be limited to just missionary, dog style or cowgirl, and even in these positions I am unable to have the desired performance, because I can't go fast without my penis slipping out and this happens frequently even when she goes slowly, which ends up making sex an experience more annoying and embarrassing than pleasurable.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

As a man, you might even have a decent body and a nice face, but if your bottom is not decent, then you're going to be a limited guy.

This is exactly my case, i have a handsome face and nice built but whats the use if my dick ruins everything you know?

id rather be dead than have this life ruining issue.