Venting All methods accessible to me causes permanent damage in case of survival, i guess i'll have to stay for longer than i anticipated

[Dusk till dawn]

So frustrating, i did my research and realised every accessible method to me causes permanent damage in case of survival

I considered cutting my arterial blood vessels, going into a bathtub while i'm freezing, but there's permanent damage in case of survival

I considered throwing myself from a high building or doing the train method, in case of survival i'll be crippled, possibly experiencing chronic pain for the rest of my life

I considered full hanging, I have trauma from my previous failed attempt, i can't do it

I considered overdosing on things available to me (OTCs) there's always some drawback in case of survival, even when it's not permanent damage it's damage that lasts for years


I have strong faith in the first method i mentioned above, but knowing my body, and everything i survived so far, there's a good chance i'll be surviving, my birthday is soon and i wanted to suicide at my birthday, but i can't, i'll keep looking for a method that doesn't cause permanent damage in case or survival

After months of searching for SN i started slowly giving up and getting tired, i'll resume my research for SN, i'm scared of being crippled or having malfunctionial body parts like my hands, all doors are closed, if i fail at finding SN i'll resort to risky methods

fuck society, fuck regulated substance laws, fuck suicide prevention


I wish things was as easy as visiting a clinic or a pharmacy store and getting a N injection then going to my home and sleeping and never waking up, it's not like i'll even be productive to my country, i'm just a burden anyways

I was even so delusional to visit pharmacies and just boldly ask "do you sell pentobarbital"

All pharmacies only had phenobarbital (not N) and couldn't recognise i asked for N instead of phenobarbital, can't even imagine what i was thinking when i asked for those, i'm extremely lucky for not being detained in a hospital by suicide prevention

 

[flyintothemoonagain]

If you don't mind me asking, what caused your full hanging to fail? Don't answer if it hurts to think about, I'm just wondering

 

[Dusk till dawn]

If you don't mind me asking, what caused your full hanging to fail? Don't answer if it hurts to think about, I'm just wondering

I was too afraid to jump although i heard jumping might cause you to instantly faint, i walked down slowly without even knowing i'll be directly into a wall, a weird swirl/spiral "knot" formed on my left hand when i was walking down, i was suspended at air while my hand is being crushed by my weight and gravity, survival instincts took over me and i removed the hangman nose from my head then shortly i fell into a water pool

I would've probably been dead if that swirl knot didn't form on my left hand since everything was perfect and in accordance to plan besides these 2 unexpected problems (being faced directly with to a wall, meaning i can push myself higher in air using my legs, that was ineffective but it would've made my death feel worse, and the spiral/swirl knot that formed in my left hand due to the way i walked down

 

[AWeepingWidower]

We cannot make suggestions. But I've been interested in the "night-night" method.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly is so hellish and extremely unacceptable how one cannot just access methods like Nembutal that lead to painless, guaranteed death, to be able to just die peacefully in such a way would be so incredibly relieving for me. I understand feeling trapped in this existence, it's horrific and terrifying how trying to die could potentially go wrong and lead to way worse suffering. It's just tragic how people have to struggle so much to die, I also wish for a death which is like never waking again. But anyway I hope that you eventually find what you search for, best wishes.

 

[Forveleth]

You are trying to do enough damage to your body so that it cannot continue to live. Literally any method can give you permanent damage if it fails, whether that be physical trauma from your attempt, side effects from drugs, or tissue death from prolonged lack of oxygen. The key is to thoroughly research your method to make sure it has a high success rate and you perform it correctly.