Discussion All I Think About is SU… All I want to talk about is SU… But I’m NOT ALLOWED?!

[4everHeartBroken]

I find myself thinking about SU a LOT… literally every single day, sometimes every hour, no kidding. So I come here. Why? Because if I told ANYONE that I am planning to take my life, I'd get locked up in this country and I've read enough horror stories on here to know I'm better off keeping my plans to myself. But I just think it's SO MESSED UP that I am not allowed to talk about or share my SU plans with anyone in person. So many have to die alone because of these silly laws.

We have to suffer all while planning, preparing and actually during our SUs just so we don't get committed to a mental institution and instead have to suffer a lifetime of 80+ years?! This makes zero sense to me.

We didn't ask to be brought into this world yet we are forced to suffer 80+ years against our will? It would be a nice start if we could just simply talk about our thoughts OPENLY so we didn't have to suffer so much. I think many would actually start to ENJOY life a bit more if they could only have the FREEDOM to talk about SU.

I am so thankful for finding this site. It's the ONLY free space I have where I can talk openly about SU without the fear of being called crazy and getting locked up just for talking about it. If anything, this site has kept me alive longer because it's the ONLY SAFE PLACE where I can openly discuss suicide and read other people's thoughts and views that are very similar to mine and I find comfort in that. This place has helped me feel less alone in my thoughts, but it also opened my eyes and hurts so much to learn that SO MANY others on here are suffering in the same silence that I suffer in. Where are our human rights in this? It almost makes me feel like a criminal just because I don't want to live anymore.

 

[grungy自殺]

I'm sorry to hear..

I feel the same sentiment as you.. in that literally no matter what we say, there would always be either one that would dismiss our emotional struggles or those that
Put us in a ward for anything that related to you wanting to ctb

The mentality that people have (the ones that either chastise or send you to involuntary hospitalization) is just plain stupid that it creates this idea that many have little choices in deciding what to do with their life and just keep the suffering going and going until the day we are a disgusting carcass that just meant nothing but to live for the sake of people (which to me are saddists)

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I find myself thinking about SU a LOT… literally every single day, sometimes every hour, no kidding. So I come here. Why? Because if I told ANYONE that I am planning to take my life, I'd get locked up in this country and I've read enough horror stories on here to know I'm better off keeping my plans to myself. But I just think it's SO MESSED UP that I am not allowed to talk about or share my SU plans with anyone in person. So many have to die alone because of these silly laws.

We have to suffer all while planning, preparing and actually during our SUs just so we don't get committed to a mental institution and instead have to suffer a lifetime of 80+ years?! This makes zero sense to me.

We didn't ask to be brought into this world yet we are forced to suffer 80+ years against our will? It would be a nice start if we could just simply talk about our thoughts OPENLY so we didn't have to suffer so much. I think many would actually start to ENJOY life a bit more if they could only have the FREEDOM to talk about SU.

I am so thankful for finding this site. It's the ONLY free space I have where I can talk openly about SU without the fear of being called crazy and getting locked up just for talking about it. If anything, this site has kept me alive longer because it's the ONLY SAFE PLACE where I can openly discuss suicide and read other people's thoughts and views that are very similar to mine and I find comfort in that. This place has helped me feel less alone in my thoughts, but it also opened my eyes and hurts so much to learn that SO MANY others on here are suffering in the same silence that I suffer in. Where are our human rights in this? It almost makes me feel like a criminal just because I don't want to live anymore.

I completely agree here. My ctb desire gets worse and worse each day I keep it to myself. I did a 7 day stay in hospital once after saying something to a Dr. It was then I realized I could never discuss that with anyone. I could lose my job and everything I have which would be worse than just ctb

 

[4everHeartBroken]

I

I completely agree here. My ctb desire gets worse and worse each day I keep it to myself. I did a 7 day stay in hospital once after saying something to a Dr. It was then I realized I could never discuss that with anyone. I could lose my job and everything I have which would be worse than just ctb

I completely agree here. My ctb desire gets worse and worse each day I keep it to myself. I did a 7 day stay in hospital once after saying something to a Dr. It was then I realized I could never discuss that with anyone. I could lose my job and everything I have which would be worse than just ctb

If you don't mind me asking, what was your 7-day hospital stay like? I keep hearing horror stories about institutions and not many who come out of an institution suddenly wanting to live again. I've heard people say that the institution made them feel even more insane after the stay. That's heartbreaking.

 

[AllyceD]

It sucks that you have to go through that but I'm glad you found a safe space. If anything, we all deserve to feel safe REGARDLESS of our life circumstances or our thoughts on any given matter.

I did 2 months in "intensive" therapy and was hospitalized 7 days prior because of a failed attempt. I get how you feel and yes, coming into this space has definitely made me feel LESS alone in my thoughts and I'm glad that it's actually more effective than "real life" therapy sometimes. I do have a whole array of things I do just to keep moving forward but I'd add this site, hands down, as the one that makes me feel less constricted, less suffocated, and less guilty.

I've got to say, it helped. The 2 months? It helped me lie better. I've learned to lead a more "acceptable" life (I have a myriad of diagnoses and I'm pumped full of meds 24/7), eat better, exercise, and go to therapy. It's not about what you do or how you do it. Some of us simply hurt too much no matter what we do/take/say.

So, from the bottom of my heart... I'm GLAD you found this space and that it's helping you even just a tiny bit to feel less crazy, less lonely, and more time here :)

 

[akwa]

Same. I'm going to die soon and I have no one to talk to about it. It's such a a devastatingly lonely place to be. No one to help process through those feelings when you've reached the end. When your life is completely hopeless. When things literally cannot get better.

 

[4everHeartBroken]

It sucks that you have to go through that but I'm glad you found a safe space. If anything, we all deserve to feel safe REGARDLESS of our life circumstances or our thoughts on any given matter.

I did 2 months in "intensive" therapy and was hospitalized 7 days prior because of a failed attempt. I get how you feel and yes, coming into this space has definitely made me feel LESS alone in my thoughts and I'm glad that it's actually more effective than "real life" therapy sometimes. I do have a whole array of things I do just to keep moving forward but I'd add this site, hands down, as the one that makes me feel less constricted, less suffocated, and less guilty.

I've got to say, it helped. The 2 months? It helped me lie better. I've learned to lead a more "acceptable" life (I have a myriad of diagnoses and I'm pumped full of meds 24/7), eat better, exercise, and go to therapy. It's not about what you do or how you do it. Some of us simply hurt too much no matter what we do/take/say.

So, from the bottom of my heart... I'm GLAD you found this space and that it's helping you even just a tiny bit to feel less crazy, less lonely, and more time here :)

Thank you for this.

 

[vetreadytodie1972]

Thank you so much for writing this ❤. When I'm honest, I'm punished. When I lie, I'm rewarded. All I want to do is ctb, and I have failed every time I've tried. I wish you every amount of peace while you are here that you can get. Hugs...