Does anyone feel these emotions every second of the day. I do and it's living hell and dominating my life. I can't work. After 26 years working. Losing relationships. Lost my home. Want to die all day. Its no life. I see other people laughing and joking and am jealous and would just love 5 minutes of that feeling.
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Fuck that. I take benzos and there hell. Fuck proper drugs. Fuck you up even more.
If you use them irresponsibly yeah. Drugs themselves are not bad. In theory, they are all good. They can mostly be used as medication or to help you see the world in a different way. They help you take a step away from yourself, and observe your problems differently.
MDMA for example is a beautiful drug which can be used to treat PTSD and depression. It helped me a lot with my cPTSD.
Generally speaking though, there is no such thing as a bad drug, only our relationship with the drug is bad. It isn't that using a drug is automatically a bad thing. However, using and abusing a drug to escape yourself and your life problems is definitely bad.
If that's really your wish, I just provided you with a simple solution.
I'm not jealous, but it does make me sadder when I see families or couples who are together,sharing things and enjoying life, while my lifelong girlfriend is in the ground--You talk about wanting 5 minutes of happiness, I haven't had even one minute of happiness since she died
Accept the suffering. It's what you are given. Let it wash over you. Struggling only makes it worse. At the end of the day, you have the choice to end it all, as hard as it is to make.
