Discussion After you've decided to go on the path of recovery should you leave SS?

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

So, I've been thinking lately about putting honest effort into recovery and I guess I'm curious what other people think as far as cutting the cord with SS and walking away from the site. I've listed some of my reasons/thoughts below and would like to hear what your thoughts are.

General Reasons to Stay
0. Talking about suicide here makes me more confident about talking about suicide with others such as therapist, friends, etc (removes stigma). I mean, where else can you openly talk about suicide so freely without reprisal or judgement?
1. People here tend to listen well if you want or need to vent. I'm really very impressed with the amount of active listening going on, better than a lot of my IRL friends.
2. Helping others (with recovery) can be cathartic.
3. The community can be highly supportive for recovery even when they personally are headed down the path of CTB.
4. The group chat has a good group of people who are typically "immediately available".
5. This site might be the only outlet for people without access to more traditional therapy (I go to therapy once a week).
6. Hearing other people's stories are can put your own story into perspective. On one hand, I believe that it's nearly impossible to put yourself into someone else's shoes, but the reality is that we all at some point felt like CTB was the only possible option for us. Hearing other people's stories sort of makes my story sound not nearly as bad as many other people's stories.

General Reasons to Leave
1. It's difficult to have acquaintances and/or friends CTB after having gotten to know them.
2. Time spent here might be better spent on improving oneself depending on what the individual needs for recovery.
3. If you have ADHD, this site is an additional potential distraction. Look, there's a shiny stone on the ground over there.
3.5. As I have ADHD I also have a tendency to hyperfocus. I don't necessarily think it's a good idea to hyperfocus on suicide, at least not where I'm at personally right now.
4. On some level, it's can be difficult to not drown in the stories of trauma, abuse, and loneliness, and dark thoughts. I think within my first two weeks of being here I had two people ask me if I wanted to watch them kill themselves after less than 15 minutes of chatting. I historically am an optimist, I know the reality of the world often doesn't meet what I want for everyone. Yet, I don't always have the emotional intelligence to accept the harsh world we live in.
5. After a certain point in time as far as planning goes, you don't really need SS to know how to execute your CTB plans. Therefore that aspect of this site no longer provides value.
6. Sometimes I feel SS with the pro choice mindset is like an alcoholic going to a bar and hanging out with people who are actively drinking (it's their choice to drink).
7. Limited ability to make friends to meet in real life.
8. Having access to SS can be holding you back. As an example, I know I can come here to vent, talk, etc. But on some level, I should be relying on my IRL friends and family too (I cut almost everyone off when I was planning to CTB).

 

[OrcWitch]

Out of your reasons to leave, I identify with two of them. I am a sensitive person and get pretty upset when people tell their childhood stories. I also think I would be hurt if I got close to someone and they CTBed. Even if I'm pro choice and wouldn't stop them I'm still human and form attachments. I don't go around making friends very often though.

But I think it is worth it for me to stick around. I have nowhere else to express this private aspect of myself and keeping it to myself would actually increase my chance of CTBing. I think SS contributes to me staying alive.

 

[timf]

I am not sure the choice is digital (stay or go). It may be that like in life as a person travels his own road a transition can be made with changes in frequency. If a person changes jobs he may still keep friendships with those with whom he used to work. Over time those connections may diminish, but there is no requirement that they be cut all at once.

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

I am not sure the choice is digital (stay or go). It may be that like in life as a person travels his own road a transition can be made with changes in frequency. If a person changes jobs he may still keep friendships with those with whom he used to work. Over time those connections may diminish, but there is no requirement that they be cut all at once.

So yeah...my therapist says I tend to think in terms of everything being black or white. Valid point that this could be a grey issue.

 

[meetapple]

I just told my therapist about SS. She started to ask if I had thoughts about suicide or plans. I lied and said I was only curious about people's thoughts about CTB. She told me that I shouldn't be on SS.

Personally, trying to not think about something makes you think about it more. Also, it might be good to stay on SS if you don't have any social relations elsewhere in your life.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Well if I actually did manage to recover I'd want to at least stay around for a little bit so that anyone who's going through what I am going through can see they have options.

Though knowing me I should probably leave soon in that case before I start flaunting my success. Thankfully that will likely never happen anyway so this is just being hypothetical.

 

[oliviahurts]

SS actually has a very solid community imo. Which is surprising for a forum that's pro suicide (okay okay, "pro choice"). People who respond are on the whole thoughtful and sympathetic which is the opposite of what I expected. I actually came here a month ago to talk about self harming and I wasn't actively suicidal (though I have attempted in the past), I expected to post my thing and move on with other things. But I really like it here.

 

[Tegan_sky]

Even though I may not be suicidal now, as I was when I joined SS, I still come to this site, (just about always the "recovery" forum), to see what people are posting. I feel that even if I'm not outright suicidal, I've been able to openly talk about my severe depression, and loneliness here without fear of stigma and judgment. Every time I have posted how I truly feel, I have gotten either completely understanding responses, and/or people saying they feel the same, which tells me I am not alone in my depression, loneliness, anxiety, suicidal bouts, whatever it is. Just knowing others feel the same and are going through the same things, makes me feel less alone. To think you're the only one feeling the way you do, is horrible. In SS I see that others are going through the same situations and feelings that I do. So I keep checking in to read, sometimes respond to a post, and once in while, to create my own post.

 

[ChobaniFlipSmores]

Even though I may not be suicidal now, as I was when I joined SS, I still come to this site, (just about always the "recovery" forum), to see what people are posting. I feel that even if I'm not outright suicidal, I've been able to openly talk about my severe depression, and loneliness here without fear of stigma and judgment. Every time I have posted how I truly feel, I have gotten either completely understanding responses, and/or people saying they feel the same, which tells me I am not alone in my depression, loneliness, anxiety, suicidal bouts, whatever it is. Just knowing others feel the same and are going through the same things, makes me feel less alone. To think you're the only one feeling the way you do, is horrible. In SS I see that others are going through the same situations and feelings that I do. So I keep checking in to read, sometimes respond to a post, and once in while, to create my own post.

Yeah...my problem is that I can't stay way from the group chat or suicide form.

 

[ven]

I don't know that I'm on the path to recovery, though I'm typing this and not ingesting my SN; so, I guess at least a tiny shard of hope remains beyond the insurance that every passing day is one step closer to the inevitable anyhow.

I enjoy the value the site brings to openly discuss suicide and reading the reasons leading people to contemplate suicide as a solution for their problems. Most other forms of social media, suicide is at minimum a taboo topic choice, and in many cases it's a bannable topic choice, and users will spam you with suicide hotline information for low hanging fruit fake internet points. In real life, no one wants to hear about it unless you're paying them to listen.

I'd even go as far to imply that I re-energize from reading posts on this site. It appears like people are more genuine here and we share a unifying problem, so it's easier to sympathize with each others personal issues and suffering.

 

[Hurt]

Personally I leave this site when I want to improve but this feeling doesnt last long and when I feel suicidal I come back here. I feel suicidal most of the time. I cant stanď life.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

I don't know that I'm on the path to recovery, though I'm typing this and not ingesting my SN; so, I guess at least a tiny shard of hope remains beyond the insurance that every passing day is one step closer to the inevitable anyhow.

I enjoy the value the site brings to openly discuss suicide and reading the reasons leading people to contemplate suicide as a solution for their problems. Most other forms of social media, suicide is at minimum a taboo topic choice, and in many cases it's a bannable topic choice, and users will spam you with suicide hotline information for low hanging fruit fake internet points. In real life, no one wants to hear about it unless you're paying them to listen.

I'd even go as far to imply that I re-energize from reading posts on this site. It appears like people are more genuine here and we share a unifying problem, so it's easier to sympathize with each others personal issues and suffering.

Seconding this, I've been in recovery even before I found out about SS and ashers. I believe in the right to die and this is like the only place where you can discuss it without stepping on eggshells or getting banned.

I tend to log on when I feel suicidal but I also come here during good days too. Everyone has the right to go and I really hate how other sites spam with suicide hotlines and other nonsense when you mention anything related to ctb, as if theres no such thing as a logical, sane, AND suicidal person.

 

[Phill]

I think SS can be very helpful and even therapeutic. I see it as a group where people going through the same shit can help each other. Works fine for me.

 

[Manaaja]

Keep an emotion diary. Every time you come here, mark down whether it made you feel better or worse, it can be as simple as drawing a smiley :), :D, :(, :\, :[ etc. You could even mark it on a calendar or something. There's also a phone app for it.

Then you can objectively see whether coming here is better or worse for you.

 

[western_heart]

Today I saw this on "similar threads" and clicked on it. I know this thread is from 2021, and normally wouldn't bump something so old, but it looks like I actually voted "Leave" in this poll before.

Right now, a month after my failed attempt, I am trying to recover but still coming on SaSu every day. I agree with many of the reasons to stay in the OP. I don't go in the suicide section very often and don't spend a lot of time in chat anymore.

I don't see voices like mine (trying to recover after a failed attempt upended my life) all that often on this site so I hope I can help others in recovery.

 

[Source Energy]

No. I'd stay. But focus mostly on the Recovery section, and when you do visit the Suicide forum, stay away from subjects that trigger you and bring back your depression. Goodbye posts are ok for me. It is important to keep faith in your method and know that you have a back up just in case. It is good to recognize that the meaning of wellbeing differs from person to person, from day to day. For you might be recovery, for that person over there is ctb today. And both are ok! We are all looking to feel better, one way or another.
I am very appreciative of this forum and the open minded people on it. One day, sooner or later, I WILL ctb, and I am glad that SN can last many years unopened. If I want to keep trying, I can, if I want to take it tomorrow, I can, too. And there is comfort in that. It works for me.

 

[MidnightDream]

Yeah, I can't decide. I decided a while back to leave so I could focus on recovery, but then I just couldn't hit that deactivate button. I like being here, I like being able to help others with the knowledge I've acquired here and the research I've done as a result. I like being a part of a community where suicide isn't a taboo, and where people understand eachother in a way that you just wouldn't get elsewhere. If you're focusing on recovery, should you leave? Possibly. It's never good to hold on to the past and the things that may trigger a relapse. But could I do it? I don't think so

 

[Stormy Raine]

So, I've been thinking lately about putting honest effort into recovery and I guess I'm curious what other people think as far as cutting the cord with SS and walking away from the site. I've listed some of my reasons/thoughts below and would like to hear what your thoughts are.

General Reasons to Stay
0. Talking about suicide here makes me more confident about talking about suicide with others such as therapist, friends, etc (removes stigma). I mean, where else can you openly talk about suicide so freely without reprisal or judgement?
1. People here tend to listen well if you want or need to vent. I'm really very impressed with the amount of active listening going on, better than a lot of my IRL friends.
2. Helping others (with recovery) can be cathartic.
3. The community can be highly supportive for recovery even when they personally are headed down the path of CTB.
4. The group chat has a good group of people who are typically "immediately available".
5. This site might be the only outlet for people without access to more traditional therapy (I go to therapy once a week).
6. Hearing other people's stories are can put your own story into perspective. On one hand, I believe that it's nearly impossible to put yourself into someone else's shoes, but the reality is that we all at some point felt like CTB was the only possible option for us. Hearing other people's stories sort of makes my story sound not nearly as bad as many other people's stories.

General Reasons to Leave
1. It's difficult to have acquaintances and/or friends CTB after having gotten to know them.
2. Time spent here might be better spent on improving oneself depending on what the individual needs for recovery.
3. If you have ADHD, this site is an additional potential distraction. Look, there's a shiny stone on the ground over there.
3.5. As I have ADHD I also have a tendency to hyperfocus. I don't necessarily think it's a good idea to hyperfocus on suicide, at least not where I'm at personally right now.
4. On some level, it's can be difficult to not drown in the stories of trauma, abuse, and loneliness, and dark thoughts. I think within my first two weeks of being here I had two people ask me if I wanted to watch them kill themselves after less than 15 minutes of chatting. I historically am an optimist, I know the reality of the world often doesn't meet what I want for everyone. Yet, I don't always have the emotional intelligence to accept the harsh world we live in.
5. After a certain point in time as far as planning goes, you don't really need SS to know how to execute your CTB plans. Therefore that aspect of this site no longer provides value.
6. Sometimes I feel SS with the pro choice mindset is like an alcoholic going to a bar and hanging out with people who are actively drinking (it's their choice to drink).
7. Limited ability to make friends to meet in real life.
8. Having access to SS can be holding you back. As an example, I know I can come here to vent, talk, etc. But on some level, I should be relying on my IRL friends and family too (I cut almost everyone off when I was planning to CTB).

This site have actually talked me out of suicide so many times! Instead of obsessing over ways to ctb I tend to read others situations and end up talking myself out of it or falling asleep. Do what you feel is best for you