knivesandcuddles
Member
- May 7, 2025
- 29
So I made an attempt with CO not long ago, even doing it together with someone else. We rented a place, strung up fairy lights in a room, and took our hot coals into there to cuddle.
It was...bad. I woke up probably 30-90 minutes into the attempt with massive nausea that kicked in survival instinct that made me abort for the both of us. It sucked. I had just about every bad symptom I could.
I mostly just want to vent about how stuck I feel now, more than a month later. Nothing has gotten better. It's only gotten worse, in fact. It sucks wanting for things to get better and just...having none of the support network to get there. Rather, I had to cut a bunch of people out of my life, and still more to cut off.
I expect that friend I attempted with will likely die soon, attempting again. It's been a long month though, so there's some hard feelings about it. Another funeral to go to, to plan this time, even.
Wondering if I'll ever get to move on, and start life over again
It was...bad. I woke up probably 30-90 minutes into the attempt with massive nausea that kicked in survival instinct that made me abort for the both of us. It sucked. I had just about every bad symptom I could.
I mostly just want to vent about how stuck I feel now, more than a month later. Nothing has gotten better. It's only gotten worse, in fact. It sucks wanting for things to get better and just...having none of the support network to get there. Rather, I had to cut a bunch of people out of my life, and still more to cut off.
I expect that friend I attempted with will likely die soon, attempting again. It's been a long month though, so there's some hard feelings about it. Another funeral to go to, to plan this time, even.
Wondering if I'll ever get to move on, and start life over again
