Method After 6 failed attempts, I need a definite way to CTV

[fuyufuyu]

Honestly i'm just done. My life is riddled with constant pressure to be perfect and i'm just done. I've been trying to CTB for years. The first 2 times were 5 years ago when i tried suffocating in a closet. It didn't work because there are multiple gaps for air and I was far too young to understand that. 3rd attempt was trying to strangle myself but once again i gave up to cry to my mother. She didn't help. Nor did my father. They knew what I tried. Yet they didn't care. My 4.-6. attempts were trying to OD but i only ever vomited it out or got severe diarrhea. I want to try some heart meds but i don't think i have enough because i'm 75 kg and it larger amounts of other meds didn't work. I can't buy anything because my parents monitor my spending and i can't go and like stab myself because my parents are always close by. I need a sure method to just leave this awful place already.

 

[Bobert_Beniro]

you can find a part-time job, rent a place to live, and try the carbon monoxide method again. I don't think they have the right to completely control your life if you're an adult.

 

[fuyufuyu]

you can find a part-time job, rent a place to live, and try the carbon monoxide method again. I don't think they have the right to completely control your life if you're an adult.

i can't really. Highschool in my country lasts between the ages of 14-18. Super common to still live with parents even after college and stuff. Honestly they try scaring me into not CTB-ing. They are also scaring me into studying because i have to pull 2-3 grades up from a B to an A and it's super stressful. I had a kids bank thingy when i was a bit younger and i still haven't asked to get a normal account. I have a ton of anxiety when talking to or trying to talk to adults. Because of my methods and their failures, pills are disgusting to me. I want to try aspirin but i don't have much. I stole it from my mom's medicine bin. I also have this one heart medication called krill oil cardio+ or something. Very weird name to be honest but it's currently the only method I can actually try. I wasted all of my other meds trying to CTB and i'm scared of suffocating by rope. I saw the night night method which looks easy but i heard it isn't really "painless". I'll try looking through other methods but i'm kind of trapped.. I could try digging through the medicine box/bin again while my parents are away.

 

[lookingforsanctuary]

How old are you now? How long until you can be independent?

 

[fuyufuyu]

How old are you now? How long until you can be independent?

Probably when I finish college.. I'm still in my last of hs so i gotta finish that too. I want to become an architect because I always likes designing houses and such. Definitely a 6+ years tho until I get my freedom.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Probably when I finish college.. I'm still in my last of hs so i gotta finish that too. I want to become an architect because I always likes designing houses and such. Definitely a 6+ years tho until I get my freedom.

If that is your goal you really want to reach you should not waste your life now. Life is ahead of you not behind you!! All the best and good luck for your future! You can do it as an architect if you really want that.

 

[fuyufuyu]

If that is your goal you really want to reach you should not waste your life now. Life is ahead of you not behind you!! Alle the best and good luck for your future! You can do it as an architect if you really want that.

I mean by "wanting to become an architect" as in: If I don't end it successfully after like 10 attempts, I'll try this whole living thing. Honestly dying is my true goal. Architecture is secondary to eternal happiness. I don't want to live but if life really wants me to stay, I'll have to try because I don't want to end up homeless.

 

[FuneralCry]

Taking medication isn't well known to be a reliable method and unfortunately there is just no straightforward way to ctb, it's just the reality of existing in this anti-suicide society where we are denied the options of ways to leave this world in peace, to me all the methods are either risky, inaccessible or just so horrible/incredibly difficult to go through with, and it sounds especially difficult trying to ctb in a situation where one is being constantly monitored. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom that you are searching for, suicide really should be easier, it's so inhumane how humans are denied a right to die in peace.

 

[nozomu]

How old are you, OP? I'm sorry you're suffering

 

[Aliceinborderline]

Try to join a mmo that has resell value to other players and hide funds in a paypal