Afraid of consequences if ctb faliure

[Amira]

Are you guys scared the concequences of failing CTB?
To be honest I thought my only fear was leaving my mother and having to hurt her alot. However , I realised that I'm even more scared of failing and having to suffer the concequences. I am already poor and my mother is barely managing. To fail means to cause more burden for my mother. Which ironically one of the reasons why I want to CTB. I know I burden her alot with my existance. With the addition of Brain damage and knowledge that I wanted to kill myself might even Kill her. That might be pushing her last button. I honestly dont know what to do.

 

[furax53]

oui je suis effrayé par les conséquences de la ctb surtout pour blesser ma mère et mon frère

 

[Sinbad]

VERY SCARED.. Therefore, failing is not an option. So I sort out my options and choose the one with the greatest chance of success.

If I do fail I would become an outcast. My family would stop trusting me.. My nephews wouldn't be allowed to play with me etc..
The pain would be unbearable. It's just not an option. I have to succeed.

 

[NotWorthLiving]

I would just say to do whatever you can to try and make it foolproof. That's what I'm gonna do. Try and combine methods, leave no margin for error, make sure no one can interupt and bring you back.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I failed my first attempt and I'm determined that I won't fail this time. It's simply not an option. I really need not to be here longer than Feb 2019. I've had more than enough in this lifetime and it's time to go. I've been researching my method thoroughly this time so I'm positive I'll succeed.

 

[Goldenwolf]

I can understand what you mean. I fear it also as the consequences of failure may be to high. I have found some people to perhaps CTB with but we're struggling to find a method to use without the uncertainty. Are you still looking for someone to CTB with? And what is your method?

 

[sadsoul]

I'm really scared of becoming a vegetable, that would be extremely horrible. Being trapped inside my own body and having to suffer until I die "naturally"... I hope this will never happen to me, I need to make sure that there's no way I'm gonna fail. I don't want to be a burden to my family, and I don't want to make them sad and stressed all the time. I also dread being sent to the psych ward, I've never been to one but I've read so many horrible things about them. I think it would make me even more suicidal...Funny how the mental health system which is supposed to help you is actually a reason to die. Facing my parents and explaining to them why I tried to kill myself would also be really difficult. They probably wouldn't understand and bombard me with pro life rhetoric. It would all be a huge mess.

 

[15dec]

I understand, I'm absolutely terrified of becoming a vegetable, or ending up failing and being sectioned, getting horrible health problems, etc. I'm not exactly scared of what will happen to my loved ones after I ctb but I feel horribly guilty because I know I'll hurt them and that they'll blame themselves.

 

[therhydler]

I failed my first attempt and I'm determined that I won't fail this time. It's simply not an option. I really need not to be here longer than Feb 2019. I've had more than enough in this lifetime and it's time to go. I've been researching my method thoroughly this time so I'm positive I'll succeed.

what is your method? If I can ask

 

[MsM3talGamer]

what is your method? If I can ask

Morphine OD.

 

[OkTotti]

This is my greatest fear

 

[Xerxes]

I'm worried if I fail, I'll be permanently institutionalized.

 

[TAW122]

I can understand your fears, and I had the same things in mind too. The best thing I can say is to make sure you know your method really, really well, try to overcome enough of your survival instinct that you don't back out at the last moment or half-ass the attempt (which is a lot of reasons for failures), and make sure that the tools you are using are sufficient (don't use a rope or ligature that would break, don't use a structure that won't hold your weight, etc.). As for combining methods, it may be counterproductive as some methods don't always go well with each other, or the risk of haphazardly combining leads to greater chances of failure. I'd stick with one method and execute it thoroughly.

 

[Wannadie]

No, not really. I'm already inpatient and there isn't really a chance I'll get out of psychiatry anyway so that's not a risk or something. Except for the unfortunate fact that it'll probably land me on the closed ward again instead of the open ward. As for physical risks: the effects of SN are said to be fully reversible. So if I would be rescued, I would only have to deal with the costs of the emergency care and there's free health care in my country so physically and economically there are no real risks either.

My only real consequence would be having to deal with the pain my attempt caused others and the fact that my treatment team probably lose their trust in me again which makes being inpatient a lot worse

 

[Lefty]

Failing in my attempt is a reason why I haven't gone yet. I need to make sure my option will kill me for sure. This is why it is important to do research and make sure everything is planned out. However I know I eventually I must pick a method, research it and make sure it will work. I can no longer take dealing with my detoirating mental state.

 

[Amira]

I'm really scared of becoming a vegetable, that would be extremely horrible. Being trapped inside my own body and having to suffer until I die "naturally"... I hope this will never happen to me, I need to make sure that there's no way I'm gonna fail. I don't want to be a burden to my family, and I don't want to make them sad and stressed all the time. I also dread being sent to the psych ward, I've never been to one but I've read so many horrible things about them. I think it would make me even more suicidal...Funny how the mental health system which is supposed to help you is actually a reason to die. Facing my parents and explaining to them why I tried to kill myself would also be really difficult. They probably wouldn't understand and bombard me with pro life rhetoric. It would all be a huge mess.

I feel the same exact way as you. This absolutly terrible. Choosing to live on can causes suffering. But , CTB will either give you a ticket to eternal peace or a ticket to eternal hell. Its a huge gamble. Not with material. But with your life and others. Also the trust we have with our loved ones would be completely broken.As if earth isnt hell already.

 

[Jiva]

Are you guys scared the concequences of failing CTB?
To be honest I thought my only fear was leaving my mother and having to hurt her alot. However , I realised that I'm even more scared of failing and having to suffer the concequences. I am already poor and my mother is barely managing. To fail means to cause more burden for my mother. Which ironically one of the reasons why I want to CTB. I know I burden her alot with my existance. With the addition of Brain damage and knowledge that I wanted to kill myself might even Kill her. That might be pushing her last button. I honestly dont know what to do.

Can you travel to die very far? Ideally into some foreign country. I don´t have other idea.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

That's why I'm still here sadly:(

 

[stargazer]

It's a harrowing thought that keeps popping up in my mind. Sometimes that's replaced when relief when I believe everything's almost aligned...only to get my hopes shattered.
I'm also afraid of failing, or being caught, or being left disabled, and or finally prevented from ever again CTB'ing (like in prison or in a home or a psych ward for a long time, that'd be hell). Yikes. Sigh.