Afraid i'll never be able to do it

[SaddestRat]

I'm too scared to commit and make plans. I don't want to live. I can't stand the thought of living out the rest of my life but I don't know if I could ever CTB

 

[Ice Poseidon]

I know how you feel. I go through cycles of doubt and anxiety. But I think of it like this, two options: 1) continue to exist as a wage-slave, suffer and eventually die or 2) end it now and no longer suffer.

 

[skitliv]

I too understand this, being in a state of limbo is horrible, but like the poster above says one needs to be more afraid of life than of being dead, I don't know if I'm making sense here

 

[Tiburcio]

Same here. I can make plans and I'm 100% sure I want to refuse life, without doubts. But in the last moment an irrational fear of something doesn't let me commit suicide. Any of my previous "attempts" were even near of doing it right. They were attempts of attempts. Very pathetic.

 

[comfortablydumb]

Same here. I can make plans and I'm 100% sure I want to refuse life, without doubts. But in the last moment an irrational fear of something doesn't let me commit suicide. Any of my previous "attempts" were even near of doing it right. They were attempts of attempts. Very pathetic.

It's not pathetic. You, like every vertebrate, are literally hardwired to try to keep yourself alive. It's not easy to overcome the forces of evolution by sheer will.

 

[anna]

I think that if we all had access to a safe and peaceful method, it would be much easier to overcome fear

 

[Tiburcio]

It's not pathetic. You, like every vertebrate, are literally hardwired to try to keep yourself alive. It's not easy to overcome the forces of evolution by sheer will.

I just see how other people were able to do attempts when they were young, how they are able to hang theirselves or something, even if they aren't succesful. And me still couldn't try anything.

Being realistic, I'm a lot weaker than the rest of people when I have to face suicide. And makes me feel awful.

 

[comfortablydumb]

I think that if we all had access to a safe and peaceful method, it would be much easier to overcome fear

To be fair, every non-destitute adult in the developed world does have access to a safe and peaceful method. That method is inert gas asphyxiation. The materials and instructions on how to do it are available to, again, literally every non-destitute adult in the developed world. And, barring premature discovery of the suicider by other people, it is 100% effective.

 

[anna]

To be fair, every non-destitute adult in the developed world does have access to a safe and peaceful method. That method is inert gas asphyxiation. The materials and instructions on how to do it are available to, again, literally every non-destitute adult in the developed world. And, barring premature discovery of the suicider by other people, it is 100% effective.

no, it's not easy here to get 99% pure nitrogen
they do not sell it to you
Also, I must be very stupid because the preparation seems complicated to do and any failure in the assembly will not go well

(besides, it is not necessary to be destitute so as not to have enough money)

 

[comfortablydumb]

no, it's not easy here to get 99% pure nitrogen
they do not sell it to you
Also, I must be very stupid because the preparation seems complicated to do and any failure in the assembly will not go well

Which country do you live in?

As for assembly and procedure, it is very simple. It might seem complicated, but it is simple.

 

[anna]

Which country do you live in?

As for assembly and procedure, it is very simple. It might seem complicated, but it is simple.

Spain

 

[comfortablydumb]

Spain

Well, I just went on Spanish Amazon, and they have vendors who sell pure nitrogen gas, so it seems to be simply untrue that it is not for sale in Spain.

 

[anna]

Well, I just went on Spanish Amazon, and they have vendors who sell pure nitrogen gas, so it seems to be simply untrue that it is not for sale in Spain.

I mean buy it in a store
can you pass me the link? I'm looking at Amazon and I do not see it

 

[Definitelyworried]

I've heard of failed attempts with nitrogen. People can make mistakes when attempting, and the concequences could leave you in a worse situation.
I too am having trouble recently to go through with suicide, very sincere thread.

 

[comfortablydumb]

https://www.amazon.es/Nitrógeno-Bot...qid=1531562030&sr=8-14&keywords=gas+nitrogeno

 

[anna]

https://www.amazon.es/Nitrógeno-Botella-plástico-nitrógeno-Dopp/dp/B00REZADIS/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1531562030&sr=8-14&keywords=gas+nitrogeno

Thank you.
How do you know it is pure?

 

[comfortablydumb]

How do you know it is pure?

...just ask the vendor.

Most likely, these types of questions are a type of stalling, avoidance, etc. Just like people asking what kind of rope they should use, or even how to obtain a rope. Questions that are pointless or extremely easy to figure out.

I'm not criticizing that - it just seems likely that it indicates that the person asking the question is not at all comfortable with the idea of making a suicide attempt, since they seem to seize any opportunity, no matter how trivial, to create an imaginary obstacle.

 

[Definitelyworried]

When it comes to any substance for suicide you do want to make sure it's Authentic and pure, otherwise the consequences could be exceptionaly bad.
I would be worried about the purity of nitrogen also, and any other aspect of that method, in my opinion.

 

[anna]

...just ask the vendor.

Most likely, these types of questions are a type of stalling, avoidance, etc. Just like people asking what kind of rope they should use, or even how to obtain a rope. Questions that are pointless or extremely easy to figure out.

I'm not criticizing that - it just seems likely that it indicates that the person asking the question is not at all comfortable with the idea of making a suicide attempt, since they seem to seize any opportunity, no matter how trivial, to create an imaginary obstacle.

You should not judge so lightly ... It is completely normal and understandable to want to be sure that the method will work and that it is right for each one of us.
Obviously I know I can ask the seller ... Maybe you trust everything they sell on the internet. Not me.
It does not even have an indication on the bottle or in the description.

 

[Rex]

You should not judge so lightly ... It is completely normal and understandable to want to be sure that the method will work and that it is right for each one of us.
Obviously I know I can ask the seller ... Maybe you trust everything they sell on the internet. Not me.
It does not even have an indication on the bottle or in the description.

Completely agree. Everyone is going through it differently, will approach it differently so any questions are fine; like you said it's very normal for people to want to make sure about purity and other factors.

People will make their minds up when they're ready, but no one should be discouraged or judged for asking questions like this.

@comfortablydumb please don't assume of people.

 

[anna]

Completely agree. Everyone is going through it differently, will approach it differently so any questions are fine; like you said it's very normal for people to want to make sure about purity and other factors.

People will make their minds up when they're ready, but no one should be discouraged or judged for asking questions like this.

@comfortablydumb please don't assume of people.

Thanks for understand

 

[deflagrat]

It is the first method I had in mind but I couldn't see myself not doing something wrong and end up with a brain starved of oxygen and more disability, no thanks. Besides, I don't have any money.

 

[Midnight]

Same limbo here ... I've never even come close to an attempt. Sometimes i do stupid things (financially) and stopped thinking about or building on my future years ago. Yet i keep dragging this lump of flesh and bones forward.

One thing is for sure though. If i ever come up with enough courage it won't be a half-assed attempt but do everything i can to make sure i ctb first try.

 

[comfortablydumb]

You should not judge so lightly ... It is completely normal and understandable to want to be sure that the method will work and that it is right for each one of us.

Yes, and it's completely normal and understandable to recognize that excessive concern with questions that have been answered a thousand times over is indicative of discomfort with the idea of actually going through with it. With regards to methods, there is no new ground to be broken. Inert gas asphyxiation is known and proven to be entirely reliable and effective so long as the very clearly explained procedure is followed. Hanging is known and proven to be entirely reliable and effective so long as one has access to anything rope-like and a sturdy anchor point.

"You seem like you might not currently be comfortable with the idea of realistically planning and/or going through with suicide." should not ever be considered a non-constructive criticism. In "the real world", it might be considered dismissive - as not taking someone's suicidal ideation seriously. But that's not our context - we're on Sanctioned Suicide. I'm saying it without moral/value judgment.

Obviously I know I can ask the seller ... Maybe you trust everything they sell on the internet. Not me.
It does not even have an indication on the bottle or in the description.

This comes up shockingly often here - the all-or-nothing type of thinking. Both reputable and non-reputable people and businesses transact online. Just because I pointed to an example of an ostensibly serious seller of nitrogen gas online does not mean that I "trust everything they sell on the internet". That would be as silly as trusting nothing that is sold on the internet.

 

[weedoge]

I'm too scared to commit and make plans. I don't want to live. I can't stand the thought of living out the rest of my life but I don't know if I could ever CTB

At least you'll die eventually so don't worry too much about that, if you ever become comfortable enough you'll truly know you're ready... or you could attempt to force yourself into that place mentally but I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[comfortablydumb]

Completely agree. Everyone is going through it differently, will approach it differently so any questions are fine; like you said it's very normal for people to want to make sure about purity and other factors.

People will make their minds up when they're ready, but no one should be discouraged or judged for asking questions like this.

@comfortablydumb please don't assume of people.

Suicide is the last choice any person will ever make, so they should obviously go about it in whatever way they choose.

However, the bar for what very many people on here consider "discouragement" and/or "judgment" is extremely low. Anyone posting on a public forum must accept the fact that they may get responses that they are uncomfortable with - so long as the responses are not rude or abusive towards them. "You come across as uncomfortable with the idea of suicide." cannot be construed as rude or abusive.

 

[Imaginos]

I'm so tired of wrestling with this shit. Stuck in an inescapable predicament that just leads to more & more needless suffering. No hope for the courage I seek. Just facing the same roadblocks again & again & again. A perfect circle of pain. Some sunny day the end will come, but it'll be too late. The damage will have already long been done. How I wish I could just avoid it all, but I'm too weak. Too afraid.

 

[Madrid27]

• También vi el nitrógeno en amazon España y vendí

 

[Madrid27]

[QUOTE = "Madrid27, publicación: 22868, miembro: 1355"]

• También vi el nitrógeno en amazon España y vendí

[/CITAR]
Who from Spain to buy it half?

 

[Vincent Moraes]

Yesterday I told my psychiatrist about this forum. I didnt mention the name or anything, just a fórum of suicidals. And I told him that although we share information about methods and stuff, I think most people here will never even make an attempt. It's a huge step, and it is totally different from planning, discussing and preparing. When I try, If I try, I want to have every possible detail thought through beforehand. And i dont know how long It Will take me to do It. But even after I have everything prepared and thought, I Will still need tô take the next step and actually do It, and that's the hardest part.