Advice on a big decision needed.

[Last chance]

Im between a rock and a hard place at the moment. Im struggling massively with my anxiety and depression but also going for a job where your medical records have to be clear of any mental health issues for at least six months so I cant seek help.

The depression I can mostly live with and getting the job will probably help lift it but the physical side of the anxiety is the main problem. I've mentioned before that my anxiety makes me gag/wretch,the next stage of the job process is a fitness test where I have to run for a certain amount of time. I have wasted away recently due to my depression so today I decided to start running again. I went with a friend and got half way round the route before the gagging thing happened and I had to walk the rest. I dont know if I will physically be able to do the fitness test.

I really don't know what to do. If I keep trying will I eventually push through the anxiety and be ok?
Or
Do I give up on the process of this job which will more than likely change my life and get some medical help for the depression and anxiety but in turn feel more hopeless and depressed?

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Its difficult to tell as it always affects people differently. Maybe you set too large a goal for yourself the first time.
Try setting smaller goals, do a smaller route that's about a third of the length the first time and push yourself a little more each time.

 

[Last chance]

It was already a pretty small goal,Im just hoping that I get called for the fitness test in like a month so that I have time to work up to it. If I got called tomorrow I dont think I could do it. Luckily covid is slowing things down a bit.

If I don't get the job Im 90% sure Ill CTB so calling it quits now and going to the doctors seems pointless. I just wish there was a way to make the anxiety 100% mental with no physical side to it so that I could just push through it.

 

[yeahwellso]

Very curious what this job is?

 

[Last chance]

Very curious what this job is?

I probably shouldn't say on a public forum.

 

[yeahwellso]

I probably shouldn't say on a public forum.

It's not like you have to be specific, and say where, etc.

Presumably, it's law enforcement, military, state intelligence or the like.

 

[Last chance]

It's possibly one of the above.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Go for it, if it doesn't work you improved your cardiovascular system and willpower.

 

[Last chance]

Go for it, if it doesn't work you improved your cardiovascular system and willpower.

It's a shame you live so far away,I could do with a ALPHA MALE like you as a PT

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

It's a shame you live so far away,I could do with a ALPHA MALE like you as a PT

I'm an omega male. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/hilarious-test.62809/

 

[Makko]

It's a shame you live so far away,I could do with a ALPHA MALE like you as a PT

He's going to force-feed you his patented bodybuilding rations, the MuscleBunny Special:

Can of tuna, kidney beans, low calorie protein yogurt, peanut butter, spinach, tomatoes, chia seeds, sunflower seeds. Mash all of that together. Some milk with that and coffee afterwards.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

He's going to force-feed you his patented bodybuilding rations, the MuscleBunny Special:

Replace the milk with two scoops of whey and a multivitamin.