Venting Addictions?

[jujujr]

My addiction to porn is something that's been ongoing in my life for a very long time, something that has affected my life terribly. It makes me want to take myself out in an instant and vomit non stop. If you have any, what addictions are you all suffering from that really make you want to CTB? Hope you all are well. take care and stay safe.

 

[sserafim]

I'm addicted to caffeine, the internet, and social media, but my addictions don't make me want to ctb. I might also be addicted to self sabotage but I'm not sure if I actually am yet though. I used to be addicted to video games but my mom took my console away

 

[AllMyDreams]

I'm addicted to the Internet, and, well, staying in my room. And overthinking stuff that doesn't need overthinking.

 

[gingermacie]

I have an addictive personality. From when I was a toddler I was obsessed with TV and it grew into an internet addiction. Alcohol, weed, caffeine, nic, sugar, sugar substitutes. Daydreaming is probably my biggest one.

 

[Little_Suzy]

What is a healthy addiction to have? I want one because it may alleviate my anhedonia.

 

[jujujr]

I'm addicted to caffeine, the internet, and social media, but my addictions don't make me want to ctb. I might also be addicted to self sabotage but I'm not sure if I actually am yet though

As someone who most definitely self sabotages an unhealthy amount due to extreme trust issues, I can say at least for me it is so depressing. I always self sabotage when someone's just nice to me just a little bit because to me ill never know if they really mean it or they're just going to use me, it gives you this false sense of control in your life but just messses with you mentally and can potentially harm others as it did for me.

What is a healthy addiction to have? I want one because it may alleviate my anhedonia.

May I ask what is anhedonia?

 

[escape_from_hell]

kratom
coffee
SaSu
was addicted to cannabis but made my anxiety next level and depersonalization/derealization probably psychosis so had to stop

I'm at a point I envy people with addictions that bring pleasure like video games, porn, movies, social media.
Pretty rough anhedonia so I dunno what to even do. Maybe I should start taking meth or something.
To the pro-life scum lurkers, tell me, better to off myself or have another drug addict dragging down society cuz that's what's left in store for me.
Cuz really kratom coffee & sasu just helps me waste the day in moderately less agony it's not even pleasurable.

 

[sserafim]

I'm addicted to the Internet, and, well, staying in my room. And overthinking stuff that doesn't need overthinking.

Same lol

 

[melancholymallory03]

My addiction to porn is something that's been ongoing in my life for a very long time, something that has affected my life terribly. It makes me want to take myself out in an instant and vomit non stop. If you have any, what addictions are you all suffering from that really make you want to CTB? Hope you all are well. take care and stay safe.

TWWW /// NSFW // PORN ///

Hey this is a super taboo subject I'm happy that you are feeling comfortable enough to speak about this I'm sure it wasn't easy…

I have a porn addiction , it fluctuates. It's like a tolerance . I just want to tell you a few things , so you feel lesss alone maybe and share my experience …

First time I started masturbating I was 5-6 I didn't know why. I'm assuming someone touched me , and my gut tells me that.
I watched porn the first time with my friends when I was 11, we were on Omegle and I saw people showing themselves. It made me feel stuff and then I sought it out myself , at that point I began watching lesbian porn. At first this was enough to satisfy me , then it escalated and I wanted to watch straight porn just to reach another high ( addiction is weird like this )
So I started watching every category of porn available on porn hub. After this my tolerance was high , I was only a younger teenager and I was watching porn everyday , almost 3-6 times a day , I didn't know why and I was super ashamed. I was super lost and confused and it felt somewhat out of my control.
After I built a tolerance to this I began watching sado masochistic porn , becoming a masochist myself actually I believe now. I don't know if these constant viewings of porn worked my way up to a fantasy for aggression , I would never hurt anyone but I knew I liked pain, and I know that.

So after all these tolerances built up I found myself being able to stay in bed and ,,, watch porn for hours …. Literally …. Extremely … violent ( yet legal don't worry) bdsm porn.

I then began reading some obscure novels after I worked my way through the internet's collection of bdsm because I wanted " more "

It's now flooded over into my personal life , I can't " get off " unless a guy is hitting me , or hurting me in some way, I hate romantic Sex and If someone isn't being " mean" I almost walk out.

This has confused many guys I've been with , and a few women.
I felt awful and like a freak ,
So what I've noticed I'm also able to lower my tolerance by forcing myself to not watch porn , or use my mind as a fantasy . It's harder to fantasize: with your mind when you watch to much porn remember that . It gives us a fantastical idea of what sex is like.
The worst it ever came to was when I literally needed to be struck in the face to " get off " and couldn't watch porn anymore . Now I have to limit myself from watching it …. Just know it builds a tolerance . Be aware of this and be careful what you are viewing online because it can work you're way up to a slow descent into tolerance , and you can also be sickened with yourself like , why am I watching people get hit?

Make sure you're drinking water and meeting your basic needs. I remember in the thick of this I was glued to my bed , not even using the washroom until it was excoriating , and just watching and consuming bdsm porn all . Day . Long. Now I can hardly have sex with people in real life , I get turned off so easily because I have a fantasy in my head
It's a tolerance , this is my story a bit , sorry it's not very well written I am feeling out of it right now. But I just wanted to share my story with you a little … and make you feel less alone
As long as you're not hurting anyone , and you are watching legal stuff it's " fine " but be aware of the tolerance you are building inside yourself my friend .
Wishing you peace and freedom from this

 

[Throwawayacc3]

My addiction to porn is something that's been ongoing in my life for a very long time, something that has affected my life terribly. It makes me want to take myself out in an instant and vomit non stop. If you have any, what addictions are you all suffering from that really make you want to CTB? Hope you all are well. take care and stay safe.

Addictions / cope because they both blend pretty easy : drawing/art (can spend up to 7/8 hours without any breaks or eating or drinking, playing games to 100% completion (platinum trophies), constantly looking for information about anything that crosses my mind on my phone, spending hours bird watching and placing different food types to attract diffeeent species (worms, nuts, fruit, fat balls, etc) - which is working as now have robins, jays, crows, pidgins, woodpeckers, parrots.

The biggest problem with all of them or individually is that I can't turn my brain off. It's firing 1,000,000 miles a second and can't shut off.

I'm addicted to caffeine, the internet, and social media, but my addictions don't make me want to ctb. I might also be addicted to self sabotage but I'm not sure if I actually am yet though. I used to be addicted to video games but my mom took my console away

Another point added to the list about your mum lol. What console did you have and what games did you play?

 

[Z-A]

Gaming, porn, drugs, caffeine, sugar and internet in general. Most of them don't affect my life but sometimes might have an impact on my mental health.

 

[sserafim]

Another point added to the list about your mum lol. What console did you have and what games did you play?

I had a DS Lite and I played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time, Darkness and Sky. Sky is my fav though

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I had a DS Lite and I played Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorers

She took away a portable console. God she's a monster. Can you not find it and just "hide-play" it. Get some headphones.

 

[sserafim]

She took away a portable console. God she's a monster. Can you not find it and just "hide-play" it. Get some headphones.

She put it in her safe and I don't know the password because all of the numbers sound the same. Now I play Pokémon Go

 

[inotterpain]

I was pretty much addicted to my meds (as in... I would take a lot more than what I actually was supposed to take).

It was my way of self-harming.

It's getting hard now, because I ended up telling my mom I had tried to overdose on them and she has confiscated them all.

I know she means well, but I wish I hadn't told her anything. :(

 

[divinemistress36]

What is a healthy addiction to have? I want one because it may alleviate my anhedonia.

Exercise ?
I'm addicted to negative thinking, reliving my trauma and food

 

[Throwawayacc3]

She put it in her safe and I don't know the password because all of the numbers sound the same. Now I play Pokémon Go

What a twat. Anyway - if you have android you can emulate DS Lite games. iPhone you'd have to jailbreak it and then you can do the same as well. I'm surprised she hasn't taken your phone as well.

 

[sserafim]

What a twat. Anyway - if you have android you can emulate DS Lite games. iPhone you'd have to jailbreak it and then you can do the same as well. I'm surprised she hasn't taken your phone as well.

I have an iPhone and I don't want to jailbreak it because I heard it makes it vulnerable to hackers. She took away my old iPhones which I used to browse SS at night, after she forced me to hand in my main phone. She lets me use my main phone freely now though

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I have iPhone and I don't want to jailbreak it cuz I heard it makes it vulnerable to hackers. She took away my old phones which I used to browse SS at night, after she forced me to hand in my main phone. She lets me use my main phone freely now though

How generous of her LOL.

just get a "dummy" iPhone - cheapest model and lowest GB (64 will do). If you just use it as a DS, mega drive, gameboy, gameboy advance, etc hacking won't happen. Just don't browse the internet, put it ANY info of yourself and it's fine. I did when I had an iPod touch. You can get refurbished ones for about £60 (about $80 roughly)

 

[whocaresreally]

I'm addicted to the Internet, and, well, staying in my room. And overthinking stuff that doesn't need overthinking.

Same and a few other things unfortunately

 

[LunarLight]

I was a heavy drug user in the past. It made my life worth living. I was happy. I could make music. The thing is, tolerance increased so fast it rapidly stopped working. So my life was as shitty as usual, but I was addicted on top of that. That's why I stopped using. It was quite easy, I've never had substance withdrawal syndrome, even with H (it affects 15% of opiates users from what a psychiatrist I saw said). Now I just take a shitton of pregabalin every other day (so that tolerance decreases a bit), it makes me a little less sad. Still suicidal tho.

 

[Metalhead]

Alcohol & painkillers

 

[Forveleth]

Aspiring alcoholic.