l1ablemistakes
Wasted potential
- Feb 16, 2026
- 269
I work with a lot of addicts (I work in an ER) and I find I'm not like most of them. To be honest, I'm far more functional than I should be. I've found a way to drink nearly 10 standards daily, smoke weed constantly, and still be able to work without even being inebriated. I just get so fucked up so quickly and pass out so I can recover in time for another shift. I've tried to go sober many times and I just can't. I know I'm an addict so I can escape my own thoughts. I have OCD and it takes up 90% of my brain power and it's so exhausting I can barely function beyond staying alive. If I give up the one thing that gives me reprieve I don't know how long I'll last. I'm 22 and I've been dealing with substance abuse for 5 years while being a straight A honours student in a highly academic field and I've only gotten worse as time passes. I've slowly been moving towards hardcore drugs and it's already taking a toll on my body. I see the physical affects of addiction daily, and I also see how callous the healthcare field is to people like me. But I can't give up my addiction, I won't be able to handle my feelings. I know it will end me. I feel like I'm at a dead end.
