Actively trying to not be suicidal

[hotelbooks113]

Does anyone else feel like they actively have to work to not slip back into being suicidal? Like I actively have to set goals and keep busy and try to get out of my hopeless situations or just occupy my time with as much action as possible. My natural state I succumb to is realizing how hopeless everything is

 

[strawberrydino]

yeah…and once those goals are done, feels like shit again

 

[Life_and_Death]

yes but i dont. ive accepted it as part of me and leave it an "always there" option.

 

[moshimoshi]

Does anyone else feel like they actively have to work to not slip back into being suicidal? Like I actively have to set goals and keep busy and try to get out of my hopeless situations or just occupy my time with as much action as possible. My natural state I succumb to is realizing how hopeless everything is

Yessssssss it's a struggle everyday, I have to constantly fight back against planning ctb and falling into a really bad depressive episode again, it's like a full time job

 

[slightoverlooked]

yes! but i dont think its a bad thing it just gets hard. i think we are just so used to being suicidal that trying to get out of this habit is challenging and hard work but honestly I'm proud of myself on days when i dont feel like suicide is my only option. on some days, i slip back, but ig when they say recovery isn't linear its true.

 

[dearlulu]

It's one thing to keep yourself occupied but another to tackle the ideations.

yes but i dont. ive accepted it as part of me and leave it an "always there" option.

I agree with this - I have a friend who told me accepting the ideations as a part of them has helped immensely while working on other stuff, like therapy or medication. It's absolutely exhausting trying to push a thought away as they usually come back stronger.

I'm happy to chat if you would like :)

 

[Unicr0n]

I've found it's no different from trying to stop being such a negative bitch when I was younger. I wasn't actively suicidal when I was being cunty to other people. I would always spin things into a negative thing.
Someone: I think today is going to be a good day today!
Me: Why? Nothing in this world is going right.

Forcing myself to not have those negative thoughts was arduous. I had to learn that it wasn't other people's fault that things in my life were going wrong; it was my fault [p much all my anger stemmed from me being unreasonable and selfish]. This backfired because now I've become more suicidal as a result, turning all of the blame on me, causing me to feel like crap even if it wasn't my fault or if it was something small. I overcorrected too much lol. Now I've gotta work on teaching myself to think "it's not always your fault... sometimes bad things just happen. It doesn't mean you deserve to die because you accidentally hurt your dog or someone's feelings. You apologize and try to learn from it."
It's harder than learning to stop think so pessimistically because it's easier to blame myself now for things going wrong. But I'm workin on it.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Does anyone else feel like they actively have to work to not slip back into being suicidal? Like I actively have to set goals and keep busy and try to get out of my hopeless situations or just occupy my time with as much action as possible. My natural state I succumb to is realizing how hopeless everything is

Do you want to reframe your thoughts? I can ask some questions to help you if you're interested.