Venting Acting Too Young For an Adult?

[Unsure and Useless]

And I don't mean that in a good "forever young" way. I mean that in a Peter Pan sort of way, where you're an adult but you act like a child/teen

At least for me, I feel like a literal kid that just looks like an adult. I don't have a single mature bone in my body

Unless it's something I (obsessively) like, I can't focus on anything. I'm incapable of fulfilling responsibilities without, at most, giving up midway through. Even thinking about regular tasks that everyone else does (working, driving, etc) causes me to freak out. I can barely complete basic responsibilities for myself such as eating, keeping myself hydrated, maintaining proper hygiene, and other such tasks! I always need someone else to tell me what to do and then walk me through it or else a task will never get done. In other words, I'm a manchild that's as competent as a toddler

I've already gotten in troublesome situations because of this. Even right now, my plans for the future are ruined because of my inability to anything by myself

CTB is genuinely my last chance to be "mature", yet I can't even do that, which just makes me want to CTB more

This entire post is likely an act done out of immaturity

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Were you abused as a kid ? I'm asking because I was in many ways and I'm the same as you

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Did you ever think that maybe you might be neurotypical? A lot of your struggles sound similar to neurotypical ones.

 

[AnimeSlayersFan]

Okay, but do you SEE a future for yourself where good things happen to you? A life that's worth fighting for? Then, do you see yourself with the ability that, if you made an effort, you would get there?
Or do you just see despair and failure, or "it will be too hard and painful to be worth it"?

 

[s00ngone]

I hear you. I've been (in my own words) an immature fuck pretty much my entire life, starting with procrastination as a kid when I had a scholarship I lost and only going downhill from there. Same thing with eating, hydration, hygiene, other stuff. I'm 22 and got my license at 19(?) because I was so anxious before that I couldn't. Funnily, the anxiety was less about the terror of being behind the wheel than it was about having to make constant, momentary decisions at stop signs and such. I couldn't even cross streets at stop signs because I was too anxious. I'd jaywalk instead, which somehow made me more comfortable.

Anyway, I understand the feeling of being a "manchild as competent as a toddler." I feel like a tantruming little kid when I come on here and complain ad nauseam about my very comfortable living situation because, no matter how okay things look, inside I feel like a barren field.

I don't have advice or reassurance, just company. You're not alone in feeling this way.

Okay, but do you SEE a future for yourself where good things happen to you? A life that's worth fighting for? Then, do you see yourself with the ability that, if you made an effort, you would get there?
Or do you just see despair and failure, or "it will be too hard and painful to be worth it"?

Had to answer this for myself. It's despair and nihilism. I can't even think of anything I would want enough. I haven't ever invested myself in anything or formed an identity around things. I don't care about success. I don't want beauty or pleasure or peace or joy or love. I don't want to live on my own or have a pet or write a book (or read a book) or have conversations or share a meal or walk the street or protest or ruminate about the upcoming singularity. I don't want to draw or play piano or learn to code or crotchet or day trade or sleep or shower.

I'm out of step with the swing of things. I wish whatever cosmic set of dominoes that set my life into motion had fallen differently so I might actually be the brother my sister deserves or the son my parents believe I am, but I'm just not that person, and I don't have it in me to even see a timeline where I become something approaching human normalcy. I'm at the cliffside of humanity and ready to jump, no parachute.

Much to chew on.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

Were you abused as a kid ? I'm asking because I was in many ways and I'm the same as you

I think I was emotionally neglected and abused as a kid, but I don't for sure since my parents, who are already very emotionally complex people, are the only blueprint I've had for parenting

Did you ever think that maybe you might be neurotypical? A lot of your struggles sound similar to neurotypical ones.

I'm pretty sure I am neurotypical since that's usually the "default" state, right?

Okay, but do you SEE a future for yourself where good things happen to you? A life that's worth fighting for? Then, do you see yourself with the ability that, if you made an effort, you would get there?
Or do you just see despair and failure, or "it will be too hard and painful to be worth it"?

As it stands, I've pretty much ruined any chance of a good and comfortable life, so I suppose the latter scenario is the most applicable

 

[EternalShore]

Unless it's something I (obsessively) like, I can't focus on anything. I'm incapable of fulfilling responsibilities without, at most, giving up midway through. Even thinking about regular tasks that everyone else does (working, driving, etc) causes me to freak out. I can barely complete basic responsibilities for myself such as eating, keeping myself hydrated, maintaining proper hygiene, and other such tasks! I always need someone else to tell me what to do and then walk me through it or else a task will never get done. In other words, I'm a manchild that's as competent as a toddler

I'm really sorry to hear that you're having such trouble with basic tasks as that~ >_< I really want to flee from responsibility too! :( It's no fun with a LOT of drawbacks and jail time if you mess up (even if it's someone else's fault~ :/ like driving~ D:)~ >_< but welp, that's society~ >:(
and man, I can completely agree~ >_< I absolutely hate eating too! :( and showering and facial care and stuff can be so annoying too! >_< They take literally forever and aren't fun at all! :/ at least, showering and facial care make you look prettier tho~ ^_^
regardless, welp, one can't exist here without being able to do stuff like that unfortunately~ :( we don't have robots or clones that we can share responsibilities with yet after all~ >_< altho, it'd be really nice! :< there's nothing one can really do besides empathize with the pain all of us experience~ :( I'm sure not many people like doing all that stuff as much as the end result of them~ with that in mind, it may perhaps be easier~ :) like how I think of looking prettier when I do hygiene stuff~ :)

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

I think I was emotionally neglected and abused as a kid, but I don't for sure since my parents, who are already very emotionally complex people, are the only blueprint I've had for parenting


I'm pretty sure I am neurotypical since that's usually the "default" state, right?


As it stands, I've pretty much ruined any chance of a good and comfortable life, so I suppose the latter scenario is the most applicable

Sorry I meant neurodiverse lol

 

[Unsure and Useless]

Sorry I meant neurodiverse lol

I wouldn't know for sure since I'm not a neurodivergent stereotype. Plus, I can't get officially diagnosed because my parents, who're the only people who have the money to fund a visit to a specialist, think neurodivergence, as well as any mental illness outside of war, is a rich man's illness; they think mentally ill/neurodivergent people are those with too much time on their hands to make things up

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I wouldn't know for sure since I'm not a neurodivergent stereotype. Plus, I can't get officially diagnosed because my parents, who're the only people who have the money to fund a visit to a specialist, think neurodivergence, as well as any mental illness outside of war, is a rich man's illness; they think mentally ill/neurodivergent people are those with too much time on their hands to make things up

I'm sorry to hear that; when your last line of defense are your parents and they fail you, it can be devastating.

 

[TheEmptyVoid]

I hear you. I've been (in my own words) an immature fuck pretty much my entire life, starting with procrastination as a kid when I had a scholarship I lost and only going downhill from there. Same thing with eating, hydration, hygiene, other stuff. I'm 22 and got my license at 19(?) because I was so anxious before that I couldn't. Funnily, the anxiety was less about the terror of being behind the wheel than it was about having to make constant, momentary decisions at stop signs and such. I couldn't even cross streets at stop signs because I was too anxious. I'd jaywalk instead, which somehow made me more comfortable.

Anyway, I understand the feeling of being a "manchild as competent as a toddler." I feel like a tantruming little kid when I come on here and complain ad nauseam about my very comfortable living situation because, no matter how okay things look, inside I feel like a barren field.

I don't have advice or reassurance, just company. You're not alone in feeling this way.

Had to answer this for myself. It's despair and nihilism. I can't even think of anything I would want enough. I haven't ever invested myself in anything or formed an identity around things. I don't care about success. I don't want beauty or pleasure or peace or joy or love. I don't want to live on my own or have a pet or write a book (or read a book) or have conversations or share a meal or walk the street or protest or ruminate about the upcoming singularity. I don't want to draw or play piano or learn to code or crotchet or day trade or sleep or shower.

I'm out of step with the swing of things. I wish whatever cosmic set of dominoes that set my life into motion had fallen differently so I might actually be the brother my sister deserves or the son my parents believe I am, but I'm just not that person, and I don't have it in me to even see a timeline where I become something approaching human normalcy. I'm at the cliffside of humanity and ready to jump, no parachute.

Much to chew on.

I'm also immature as fuck and it makes me feel like I act like a kid 24/7, I have delusions of people hating me for zero reason it literally makes me feel like I'm just useless especially when I'm ugly, also when someone (mostly in real life) is making a single molecule of being rude, it really hurts my feelings and now I just can't go outside that much I just want to die so bad but I can't

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

I've come to think of "maturity" as "broken down by life". I've done my best to "grow up", but keep a bit of the youthful zeal about me. Sometimes it's good to laugh at stupid things, and play silly games. Maturity should be knowing when and where to do things.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I'm also immature as fuck and it makes me feel like I act like a kid 24/7, I have delusions of people hating me for zero reason it literally makes me feel like I'm just useless especially when I'm ugly, also when someone (mostly in real life) is making a single molecule of being rude, it really hurts my feelings and now I just can't go outside that much I just want to die so bad but I can't

I get that. I have so many flaws and I've made so many cringe-worthy and/or terrible mistakes throughout my life that, anytime I'm around people, I feel like they all hate me because they either notice my flaws or know of my mistakes through some obscure Internet post. Like you, I can't tell if this is just a delusion or if it's real

 

[luma]

I deeply relate to this. I often wish I had someone who would help me with everything. It feels incredibly dehumanizing, and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I assume you have trouble with motivation and energy? I've had many missteps due to the lack of both. I wish I could give you a solution to this, but I'm honestly just as lost as you are. I can only offer you virtual hugs and support.

Like SomewhereAlongThe mentioned, I think it's entirely possible that you may be neurodivergent. Neurotypical people usually don't deal with these kind of issues—at least not to the extent that neurodivergent people do. You absolutely do not need to fit into the stereotype to be neurodivergent! Neurodivergence manifests itself differently from person to person. :) I am neurodivergent myself, and although I do not know you, your post suggests that you have neurodivergent-like behaviors/symptoms. I think it's definitely worth looking into it, even if you're unable to get an official diagnosis. This might be an unpopular opinion, but I think self-diagnosis (with thorough research of course) is a valid alternative, especially considering how costly and time-consuming official diagnoses can be. Plus, so much information that once was previously unavailable is now readily accessible on the internet. Just make sure to keep an open mind and consider all options, and be careful of misinformation! \(^o^)/

 

[Dejected 55]

I think you might be confusing two different things. How you feel as a person VS the maturity that comes through living.

People mature at different rates. Some people never fully mature. Maturity is also relative. Adults aren't supposed to "play" like children, and yet there is lots of adult play. I don't mean sexual play... I mean like sports, that's considered exercise and play for adults. Video games are becoming more acceptable for adults in general when not so long ago they would have been frowned upon. What about card and board games? Adults play those all the time. Chess is play. I could go on and on. But even traditional maturity is hard to define and even things like having a job (kids work too) and responsibilities and such, sometimes can be navigated without actual maturity.

Meanwhile...

I think most people feel the same as they always have to themselves. What I mean is... I'm 55, and I know I've had life experiences and learned things over the years that shape me now and inform decisions in a way that I might not have when I was younger... but when I'm sitting with my thoughts, I feel like I am the same person I always was. I look at myself and I'm obviously older, and certainly bigger than when I was as a child, but I feel like I'm the same person.

I have vivid memories of things that happened in childhood and in those moments when I am thinking of them, the memory is SO strong that it is like it happened 5 minutes ago and not 45 years ago. I remember some moments exactly as I did when they actually happened. Sometimes if I detach from reality a bit and think of things from my past, I can almost... almost imagine opening my eyes and the last 40 years of my life were just a dream.

Once, as a kid, I woke up and showered and went to school. I had a normal day in all my classes until the end of the day when it was almost time for the final bell... and my alarm woke me up for school. I had the most vivid dream that night of a normal day of school and it felt so real that the whole day of school that day felt really weird, like I was doing it twice even though the actual day was not the same as the dream day. And right now I remember that weird feeling as if it was yesterday... even though it very much was not.

I remember my father once telling me as an adult he felt like he was still the same boy he always was. He knew he wasn't of course... older and with back problems... but in his mind, he felt exactly the same as he always had.

I think most of us feel that way if we stop and consider it.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Namelesa]

Yea I can deeply relate to this as an autistic person with only really being able to do things when I am really obsessive/hyper-fixated with them. I can't really do basic things like hygiene on my own either and often rely on my parents to care for me. A lot of people in real life do call me childish and call me somewhere in the age range of 5-13 year old.