Hey
I cried when I read that I sounded like your dad - the similarities are most definitely there - never switching off, equating rest with laziness, the constant need to be useful - but I was also surprised by the perceptiveness of a stranger. So I guess thank you?! I dunno.
It is real world circumstances that have led to my decision too. The things that cannot be done or undone or fixed or changed. The bits where we have to live in the world as it is, not the way we want it to be. The powerless bits.
But I'm a newbie to this site & I really did think joining would expedite things & that I'd be done & dusted quite quickly, but in reality I've just spent 3 whole hours on this site & again, feel like I know less than before. Frustrating.
I'm so torn about how I've always sworn it would be one successful properly researched fail proof attempt versus my newfound impatience to do this sooner rather than later, again related to real world circumstances with ticking clocks.
I really don't wanna miss the bus, get brain damage, get sectioned, get arrested. All of that.
And all this tech stuff is so new to me & sucking up time too.
Because you're also in AU & have already ordered, I am insanely keen to hear of your experience. Dumb questions - do you order it in your real name? To your home address? And the same for testing kits? And did they indicate how long it would take to get to you? And how long it took to get the kit? And did you look at other options like N or oxy or fenty or whatever?
And can you access the sites on an iPhone with VPN or does it have to be desktop? I have no idea which source you used but am happy to research that too. How do you pay????
There are still some unknown variables in my life - ideally I wanna go in May but might be able to buy some time into June but might not have anywhere to live by then which is a crappy situation but also I'm more upset about the complications it would cause to CTB.
Apologies for sending more messages.
I didn't come here to make friends or repeatedly hassle people but the Aus laws are making things tough & being time poor combined with ADHD is making the research feel impossible & I really need a win. The ADHD is a very real barrier with this - either I can't focus or I get timeblind or I get distracted & go down the wrong rabbit holes or I write notes that turn out to be gibberish or I get overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information & the blinding, blinding, blinding fear of failure.
I can't fail at this. I don't have a plan B.
So whatever you're comfortable passing on, please, please do.
And if you're out, you're out & I appreciate what you've shared thus far.
