So I guess a bit of context is required, I identify as transgender, basically my only goal for the past 10 years has been getting on HRT. And now that I've done that I've realized everything else I've achieved in life has just been a means to an end to get to that point and I have no plan beyond that. In my rush to be able to start a transition, I went to college and started a career in a career path. I have no interest in. That's slowly killing me with toxic chemicals, ruined relationships with all my friends and family and now I'm stuck living in a house. I hate paying way too much fucking rent, barely scraping by to live a fucking terrible life. At work, we have nitrogen bottles for filling pneumatic systems and it just feels like the universe is teasing me with what I thought would always be the best method for me. I just thought my life would finally make sense once I got to this point and it's just as bad as before if not worse. I have nothing to hope for I have no goals. Anyways, yeah that's just what's going on. Sorry if I posted this in the wrong place I'm bad at the Internet.
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