Discussion Accepting losing purpose

[Toriinbed]

I'm an architecture major in a community college who was hoping to make a portfolio and apply to architecture schools, As of recent though my passions for everything just stopped. Whether it was burn out or my professors killing my passion. I've come to realize that I don't want to do anything with my life that will impact other people. I don't want to leave a legacy or be a successful architect. I just want a simple life where I'm barley making by. I wish to be mediocre.
my family is super business oriented and there was expectation of me to become the one that would be different compared to my successful older siblings, they expected me to be the "famous artist" ""famous designer" "famous architect". I know they want the best for me, even though it sounds ungrateful, I don't want the best for myself. I want to be average, boring, plain. for me that seems to have a lot more freedom.
of course, it always circles back to money. in order to live a simple and comfortable life you need money. which pisses me off whenever my brother reminds me because he's not fully wrong. I heard that back in the day you could be a manager at a grocery store and make enough to take care of a family and have a house. But nowadays you have to have a high standing position to just take care of yourself.
But I cant bring it in me to waste my time doing something difficult I don't have a drive for. I don't have a purpose anymore.

 

[Deo volente]

There is a reason asceticism has been valued throughout history by many philosophers. Not that you need any noble purpose in having a simple life. Personally, I think it is wise to value freedom over notability.

 

[Pluto]

Even if success is achieved, life will never feel quite right if we are living for the demands and expectations of others. Even if they have good intentions at some level, they are driven by a selfish desire that your success will rub off on them.

A more enlightened society would encourage you to find yourself and be authentic, right from a young age. For some people this comes more naturally than others. If not, the best case scenario is doing all the things society says you are supposed to do to be fulfilled (careers, relationships), yet knowing something is not right. Perhaps our idiotic society would then start prescribing antidepressant medication.

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. - Abraham Maslow

It's important to be mindful when using pejoratives like mediocrity. Nothing is more mediocre than inauthenticity, even if a person is a millionaire celebrity. It sounds like you need to engage in a process of introspection and self-discovery.

 

[never mind me]

I think it is very courageous to realize that a successful career is not the most important thing for you in life, despite the expectations of your family. It's normal to feel lost, when you lose a longterm goal like becoming a famous architect or designer and you don't know yet, what to do with your life now. Being mediocre (relating to careers) doens't need to be a bad thing as it may leave you with more time for other important things like your hobbies, friends and development as a person, if you don't put your career first. From what you write it sounds like you live in the US. If you do (or even if you live in another relatively wealthy Western country) there are plenty of options to get buy even without having a great career. You could start living in a car or van and take seasonal jobs, so you have more time off than in a normal job. Or share an apartment with roommates, so you pay less rent and go dumpster diving. Probably you also need to find new meaning in your life, so you should take the time to try different things and see what holds meaning for you. This can be pretty much anything, like a certain hobby or sport, spiritual acitivites like practicing a religion or meditation, organising parties for your circle of friends, learning a skill.....
Try not to be pressured to follow in the footsteps of your family, even if it may be the right thing for them to have amazing careers, it doensn't necessarily mean it's the right thing for you.

 

[Twistedliesinside]

The best and worst of life is infinitely more valuable if it's your own.