accepted for ect (another thread from me)

[strawberryshark]

i've been going through a near 20 year depression cycle. i've been down the rabbit hole since 2007. i'm sure i don't need to tell anyone here that it's unbearable. every single day is filled with not caring about shit, not wanting to do shit, feeling i'm wasting my life, wanting to do something about it because i want to be an acitve member of society one minute then not giving a shit the next, and consumed with non-stop thoughts of suicide.

since 2011, i've been on 19 different meds. all they've done is make me gain weight. paxil, which had helped me in the past, made me gain one pound every other day when all i was eating was a medium-sized apple with peanut butter and a diet coke per day. there were so many drugs after that. wellbutrin, after being on it for several years, started causing me to have seizures.

i've been declared med resistant by my psychiatrist. the only things i take are xanax for my crippling anxiety and prazosin. (that one is to keep bad dreams away. i have VERY violent and bloody dreams without it. it also makes me afraid to sleep. i was awake for 6 days several times.) he's been pushing ketamine therapy (which scares the ever-loving shit out of me), tms (transcranial magnetic stimulation), and ect (electro convulsive therapy). all of these scare me, but ketamine the most of all.

i joined the website for the new england journal of medicine. i found an article comparing ketamine and ect therapy. it made me feel better about ect. plus, that's practically the bible for the medical community, so i felt good using it as a source. i've also talked to people who have done ect and people who know people who have done it and they were all positive stories.

i contacted my insurance, got referrals from them and my psychiatrist, and had a consultation appointment with the ect department at the hospital. they think i'm a good candidate. i had my exam with my pcp and i'm scheduled for an ekg and bloodwork on monday. then i'll be scheduled for the therapy.

the way it was explained to me is they give you a sedative, put you under anesthesia, and then do the shockwaves and monitor you for seizures. it's no longer the violent torture-like procedure from cuckoo's nest or girl, interrupted.

during my consultation, we talked a lot about my suicidal thoughts. i'm being realistic. i don't think this will be like a magic pill and i don't think the thoughts will go away. the other stressors in my life won't disappear, either. but for the first time in decades, i feel like i might be taking a step in the right direction.

of course, i may contnue to have my dramatic thoughts of drowning myself in the pool of the house i grew up in or look for other ways out, but who knows?

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Hi! fellow life long major depression sufferer here. 25+meds. Also ECT(17 treatments) and IV ketamine (6 treatments). Unfortunately nothing is working for me. Meds used to work for me but I've been in 3 years of hell now. I really hope the ECT works for you. I know it has saved a lot of lives. Also there is a great private ECT Facebook group you could join.

 

[Fadenself00_]

Have you tried glutamatergic meds? (Mainly available in trials)

There is a drug-type currently being trialed for MDD I think, called AMPA PAMs.
They work by increasing activation of AMPA receptors.
Iirc, they have been researched after discovering that AMPA negative modulators have gotten rid of Ketamine's antidepressant effects in animal models, so my understanding is that AMPA PAMs (positive modulators), are trying to isolate that pharmacologic effect.

Maybe that is something to look into before having someone cause seizures in your brain

[I am not a medical professional and don't have experience myself with them, but with Sodium Benzoate, which is a weak DAAO-inhibitor (increases D-Serine concentration by inhibiting the enzyme that breaks it down)]

 

[SighCry]

I have heard that people usually try TMS before ECT, but ECT is supposed to be very effective. wishing you all the best.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I have heard that people usually try TMS before ECT, but ECT is supposed to be very effective. wishing you all the best.

This is true but in my case I was in the hospital and all they could offer me inpatient was ECT. TMS was outpatient and I was too sick to be let out..