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edu0z

edu0z

carried away by a moonlight shadow
Aug 25, 2021
552
Since February 14, 2018, every "day of love and friendship" has been complete hell for me. I have nothing against happy couples and friends who go out to enjoy the day, on the contrary, I am happy for those people and sincerely wish a happy February 14 to all... It's just that I don't deserve something like that in my life. No one has ever loved me and no one will ever love me because I'm disgusting.

I can't live another 14/2, I thought at this time I wouldn't be here anymore, but I'm still alive. I can't stand another year of hell, I can't deal with it. At least a year ago I had people to share moments with that made the day less painful, but now those people are making their life away from me, and I get it... nothing happens, okay. I think I should take advantage of it and do it today once and for all.

A few kilometers from my house there is a forest quite far from everything. I could dive into the forest and hang myself in a good tree. No one would meet me in a while, and no one would miss me. The world would just run its course and that's fine. 2/14 would still be a day of happiness for many people. I have nothing left for any goal to live for, and no one to take care of.

I have met many good people and I have very good memories of all of them. They've all followed their own course, and that's okay, I'm happy for everyone. Many have helped me and taught me important things to be who I am today, and for that I will always be grateful. It's been a good life, with fun moments and moments of solitude... and that's fine.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I've put effort to get it right. I've tried the best I could and that's fine. Sometimes I lost course but always towards what I thought was the right thing to do following my heart and my intuition and that's fine. I have not tried to take advantage of anyone, nor have I abused anyone. Many times I have suffered for trying to help people I trusted and who have let me down, but I do not regret anything, I am proud. Everything is forgiven, and I forgive myself also for all the damage I have caused myself. I am in peace, this is the right thing to do. You have done well Eduardo, I never thought that it would last so many years. I want this, I'm happy

I have pursued my dreams ardently with everything I had. I left college to study on my own even though everyone told me it was crazy. But I proved that I could do it, I proved that everyone was wrong. When I think about how hard I've tried, I'm filled with tears. In the end I have failed, this is the farthest I have been able to go, and that is fine. I'm fine with that.

We must all die one day. And right now I have no purpose to stay alive. It's not any drama, the world must run its course and that's fine. I knew this day would eventually come since I was a child, and I'm happy.

Thank you all for being part of this community. I haven't spoken personally to many people because lately I'm an uncontrollable emotional mess and I don't like to bother, I don't deserve anyone to talk to me. But I know there are a lot of good people here and very smart people. I wish you all the best and a happy February 14th. I hope to die today and that's fine.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,646
I'm sorry for all of the suffering that has brought you to this point. I can imagine it must be a relief to feel at peace with everything. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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porhtna

porhtna

bad rng.
Dec 1, 2021
43
I don't think stopping to go forward is a failure. Wish you all the luck in whatever you decide to do <3.
 
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