sylvey

sylvey

I want to die slowly and painfully
Oct 11, 2023
173
I have no personality, in my honest opinion. Not in the super emo sense, but in the sense of I literally am just a copy paste of small bits of the personalities of people that actually matter and could actually have a purpose in society. I just want to make the people around me like me, but they're not liking ME, they're just liking the way I act and the way I make them feel. I can see out of myself but they can't see in to see just how fake and useless I am. I really am so pitiful. I can't even be unique if I tried. They just see the things I tailored to what they like and they smile, thinking nothing of it and nothing of me. That's for the best.
 
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T

thirdtimesthecharmg

Failed twice
Jun 16, 2024
39
I have no personality, in my honest opinion. Not in the super emo sense, but in the sense of I literally am just a copy paste of small bits of the personalities of people that actually matter and could actually have a purpose in society. I just want to make the people around me like me, but they're not liking ME, they're just liking the way I act and the way I make them feel. I can see out of myself but they can't see in to see just how fake and useless I am. I really am so pitiful. I can't even be unique if I tried. They just see the things I tailored to what they like and they smile, thinking nothing of it and nothing of me. That's for the best.

Such is life. None of us are truly unique in any part yet all of us are unique in our exact combination.

I think many people feel like you describe. It resonated with me, especially right now.

And when you do those things tailored to the particular person and they smile, you're right that they aren't seeing all of you. But they like what they see and they appreciate your effort and you're helping that lost, scared, lonely stranger feel just a bit better. Because we've all got despair to wrestle with and I promise you, your efforts to be kind and matter to people do make a difference.
 
sylvey

sylvey

I want to die slowly and painfully
Oct 11, 2023
173
Such is life. None of us are truly unique in any part yet all of us are unique in our exact combination.

I think many people feel like you describe. It resonated with me, especially right now.

And when you do those things tailored to the particular person and they smile, you're right that they aren't seeing all of you. But they like what they see and they appreciate your effort and you're helping that lost, scared, lonely stranger feel just a bit better. Because we've all got despair to wrestle with and I promise you, your efforts to be kind and matter to people do make a difference.
I'm not even going to lie, I'm not trying to be nice. I'm just trying to matter. I guess props to me if I seem nice but I'm not exactly trying to be. I don't have much faith in humanity anymore.
 
T

thirdtimesthecharmg

Failed twice
Jun 16, 2024
39
I'm not even going to lie, I'm not trying to be nice. I'm just trying to matter. I guess props to me if I seem nice but I'm not exactly trying to be. I don't have much faith in humanity anymore.

I guess to me there's no difference: I presume someone being nice has an "ulterior" motive of trying to please God, or others, or have a better self image etc.

But if you want to matter and you do that by finding ways to relate to people and make them smile, that's good and positive and healthy.

Life is empty unless we can find a meaning. Trying to matter by making a positive impact on other people is a great choice in my view. Just keep going and trying to get more comfortable with it. There is a ton of potential down that route! šŸ¤—
 
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