She used to say her life was resolving about love, that's the dimension that was defining her. So I want to dedicate this song, because she managed the unattended, to spread the love around. Through her contact, I felt like I was brought to life again, with a higher appreciation of minor things, and major ones. Everything turned into more, magnified. Kinda, I was taken by the hand, invited to look around and helped to see, sort of, the skied opened above and became an art exposition a tad more. Indeed, she had hallucogenic properties, and even out of touch, she could get you addicted...
I only interacted with her a couple of times, but I was very much looking forward to getting to know her better.
Every post of hers was like an explosion of color, like fireworks on a rainy day.
A soul so big it could not be contained, it jumped out of the computer monitor and filled your room with psychedelic animation, like a pop-art kaleidescope. If Pollock, Lichtenstein, and Kahlo had a raucous baby it would be K-O.
I feel kinda cheated she split before I got to know her better.
But I'm mildly consoled knowing that somewhere in the universe the biggest, most colorful, most beautiful supernova was just born.
Sad it's light won't reach the Earth for another million years. But we saw it.
SHINE ON, YOU CRAZY DIAMOND!
Exquisitely written ! Exactly. She was like the incarnation of the universe expanding, until getting lost, fading as one.
She offered attraction, friction along the way. She was agitating all the celestian material with a fleeting trajectory. It was a mystery from where the light was originating out of the surrounding darkness (which she also embraced and was carrying a trail of, but transcending it) and you surely didn't know where was the final destination heading in advance, with the infinite too small for its ambition. According to her wandering with freedom, she left a glow everywhere she passed, heating up the celestial particles in her path. She was the broth that warms the coldness of the environment and permits all things glorious, like a contagion of energy, infusing motion. I knew her from before, from ancient DNA times, because she summed up my expectations. From way way before I had written about her, a scribble of a song. Unannounced, I just didn't know it would take again formation, into a person. Also I have no idea where she will take shape again. It has been a third type encounter, she flew to us, wrapped us with a multi-level halo, only to depart again. I really felt like she manifested herself as a comet. It was as unexpected as brutally honest, a show dropping into the sea. For me, what it meant was a mind fuck.
What else. She would represent an investment that doesn't count. Never a calculation, just flow. I can attest it was comfortable to be around her. Whether she was down and you were high, or just whichever intermediary setting of positions, it felt just right, never uneasy. She was very accepting of the person she was facing. Therefore, I was trying to broadcast the same back, always in full acceptance of her current state. Meanwhile, she didn't need to do much, neither to say much, in order to reach out. I could sense your potential even when you were more quiet, just as clearly. She was also a person of contrast, as discreet or as eloquent, depending on the moment, a private person or a forrest fire. I knew about all the ressources you were hiding, because it was sweating outside the shell anyway, against your will.
Oh, she was the colors of Africa, Sri-Lanka/India, plus Soho/Camdem, places of abounding complexity, uncut editions of the world, sheer inspiration, places she loved.
Stoked Abi, so stoked, not stalked. I love you. Tide your dictionary away lol You said no regrets, but I can't help it, I'm full of regrets, but the good ones, the ones I don't want to turn away but cherish dearly. You know what I mean, about this ambivalence. No need to explain the cohabitation. But yeah, there was so much more to share. I was ready and about to give you so much more. I thought I had time, I slowed things down, boy was I wrong. I did my best for you but now I'm punching myself to not have done even more. I might have missed the opportunity of a lifetime, which is not what appears to be, which is the one I will wonder about, respectfully, dammed for eternity. I admit being broken open, helpless. It feels incomplete, unfinished work. So hurtful, the pieces of our collision are now a battlefield. A peaced out war zone.
In the end, I think that she burned, consumed the very nature of her essence, like there was no other possibility but to close the loop, by staying authentic to her unlocked principles. Her conception of life (& love) was too grand to tolerate trade-offs. I grant her that she was right about the judgement. She kept the stance, and cultivated it till the very end. We met stoked, you left stoked, waiting for the right atmosphere to align. Just, fuck you. I understand it now, and value it, even if I'm welcomed Pain.
Damn inspiration. Will never forget. It was worth it all before, just to have known you. SOB, my deadest. Bonne nuit
(Thanks to you, I'm less afraid to die anymore, btw, when the
sweet time will come)
