A star died millions of years ago and now I have to suffer

[shiny_quill]

I've recently found written traces of 9 years old me wanting to die and I just feel pityful for not being able to. I tried, more times than I could ever count yet not a single time did I get close enough to my goal to feel legitimate calling it a suicide attempt. I tried choking myself to death with a scarf only for the knot to come lose while I was unconscious, and shit like that happens every. single. time.

Since I couldn't die, I decided to try and find reasons to stay alive and I have the shittiest reasons ever (a song I like being the main one, as I'll never hear it again if I die now) and looked into the origin of life outside of religious faith, as I was taught in a catholic school but consider myself agnostic, and what I found was as comforting as it was horrifying.

I think it was Lavoisier who once said "Rien ne se perd, rien ne se crée: tout se transforme" ("Nothing is lost, nothing is created: all is transformed"). Since this applies to atoms, it means that every atoms in your body dates all the way back to the Big Bang billions of years ago. Most of those atoms, of course, didn't wait all this time for you to be born and formed other stuff before you. According to Google, most of the elements of our bodies were formed in stars over the course of billions of years and multiple star lifetimes. However, it's also possible that some of our hydrogen (which makes up roughly 9.5% of our bodies) and lithium, which our body contains in very tiny trace amounts, originated from the Big Bang. So basically, the atoms in your body once made up stars. Everything in you is recycled from astral matter. The iron flowing through your vein once was the inside of a supernova and part of me wants to believe so hard this is beautiful but there is another way of looking at life.

Life is just electrical information. "You", as far as you are aware, are only a brain piloting one of the world's fanciest mecha suit. Nothing more. We're all Frankenstein's creatures in a way, but once you start understanding how far this actually goes it's even more frightning. You've never seen yourself, only an arbitrary amalgations of features which others perceive as "you". You can't be aware of how small you actually are because you won't allow yourself to. A lot of the physical pain you've felt in your life was just... You, playing tricks on yourself, and so on.

So, stars died, millions of years ago for you to not even be aware of how tiny your existence is. As I said earlier, I'm agnostic, and I can understand why some people need religion to not go crazy when life is just... Electricity. This is so limited. I myself tried so long to believe there was more, maybe an afterlife but the thought is even more terrifying: an afterlife means that once all the pain is over, you have to do it again, except this time there won't be an end. This is frightning, and maybe one of the reason I currently stay alive. I'm affraid there might be more. I'm affraid things might last longer if I die now. This is terrifying. Existence is terrifying. There probably isn't an afterlife since life is just electricity, once the circuit stopped working it's just... Gone, no more electricity, no more life, but I'd rather not take the risk, I know how unlucky I am.

 

[Darkover]

law of conservation of matter has been proven wrong https://thedebrief.org/physicists-p...-out-of-nothing-by-simulating-cosmic-physics/

 

[livinginhellnation]

There is no God. No afterlife. No heaven. No hell. No reincarnation. You are correct by saying we are here because random forces of the Universe (something we can't fully comprehend) came together and formed life on a planet. Eventually our species will becoming extinct and the nothingness will return and our planet and our star will die. All of this is pointlless, utterly pointless.

 

[shiny_quill]

law of conservation of matter has been proven wrong https://thedebrief.org/physicists-p...-out-of-nothing-by-simulating-cosmic-physics/

Even then, this states that you need something to create more somethings. The point still stands.

 

[Darkover]

Even then, this states that you need something to create more somethings. The point still stands.

the law of conservation states that energy cannot be created or destroyed it been shown that it can be created out of nothing

 

[shiny_quill]

There is no God. No afterlife. No heaven. No hell. No reincarnation. You are correct by saying we are here because random forces of the Universe (something we can't fully comprehend) came together and formed life on a planet. Eventually our species will becoming extinct and the nothingness will return and our planet and our star will die. All of this is pointlless, utterly pointless.

And, again, this is both comforting and terrifying. We cannot imagine what "Nothingness" is because it just isn't and we human brains cannot think of what isn't, that's not the way we're wired but so long as whatever comes next isn't this, I think we can all be fine.

 

[livinginhellnation]

And, again, this is both comforting and terrifying. We cannot imagine what "Nothingness" is because it just isn't and we human brains cannot think of what isn't, that's not the way we're wired but so long as whatever comes next isn't this, I think we can all be fine.

Non existence is utopia. Non existence is eternal. The normalized state of everything in the Universe is non-existence. Why be terrified? You were in a state of non existence for eons before you came to be being.

 

[shiny_quill]

the law of conservation states that energy cannot be created or destroyed it been shown that it can be created out of nothing

The link you said states otherwise (either that or I'm a dumbass). There was "creation" of an analog of electron-positron pairs not where "nothing" previously was but out of electricity which isn't nothing in my understanding of things. ("In effect, this laboratory-level electric field was powerful enough to create an actual something out of pure nothing.")

 

[Darkover]

Why be terrified? You were in a state of non existence for eons before you came to be being.

or so you think but there is no way of ever knowing for certain if death is the end for all time for all you know you've been alive before there no way to prove it one way or another

 

[shiny_quill]

or so you think but there is no way of ever knowing for certain if death is the end for all time for all you know you've been alive before there no way to prove it one way or another

Technically there isn't a way of proving anything right, only to prove things wrong, and so far this is one theory we haven't been able to prove wrong.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

There is no God. No afterlife. No heaven. No hell. No reincarnation. You are correct by saying we are here because random forces of the Universe (something we can't fully comprehend) came together and formed life on a planet. Eventually our species will becoming extinct and the nothingness will return and our planet and our star will die. All of this is pointlless, utterly pointless.

All those you mentioned do exist, it's just you have no experience with anything paranormal to believe in it. I can bet if you went through some type of spiritual like near death experience you would believe in the spiritual.

 

[livinginhellnation]

or so you think but there is no way of ever knowing for certain if death is the end for all time for all you know you've been alive before there no way to prove it one way or another

Death is just a reversion back to our normalized state of non-existence. We simply don't exist. We haven't had previous lives. There is no such thing as reincarnation.

 

[shiny_quill]

All those you mentioned do exist, it's just you have no experience with anything paranormal to believe in it. I can bet if you went through some type of spiritual like near death experience you would believe in the spiritual.

I think this is a matter of faith, mostly, but the thought of an afterlife is beyond scary to me. If it's comforting to others, that's good but never ending life with either only suffering or only abondance? Scares me.

 

[livinginhellnation]

All those you mentioned do exist, it's just you have no experience with anything paranormal to believe in it. I can bet if you went through some type of spiritual like near death experience you would believe in the spiritual.

I disagree. There's no such thing as spirituality. No such thing as paranormal. It's something we make up.

 

[Darkover]

Death is just a reversion back to our normalized state of non-existence. We simply don't exist. We haven't had previous lives. There is no such thing as reincarnation.

indeed and if you say so but you can't prove that with 100 percent certain either way the fact that i exist now is proof enough for me that something fishy is going on in this universe

The link you said states otherwise (either that or I'm a dumbass). There was "creation" of an analog of electron-positron pairs not where "nothing" previously was but out of electricity which isn't nothing in my understanding of things. ("In effect, this laboratory-level electric field was powerful enough to create an actual something out of pure nothing.")

yes you get out more then you put in hence creating something from nothing

 

[shiny_quill]

indeed and if you say so but you can't prove that with 100 percent certain either way the fact that i exist now is proof enough for me that something fishy is going on in this universe

yes you get out more then you put in hence creating something from nothing

No matter how you look at it, something fishy is going on.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

I disagree. There's no such thing as spirituality. No such thing as paranormal. It's something we make up.

Why don't you read of all the people who died and came back, how come most of them start becoming spiritual after it? The spiritual clearly exists. I have seen people go through awakenings and go from hardcore atheists to fully spiritual.

 

[livinginhellnation]

indeed and if you say so but you can't prove that with 100 percent certain either way the fact that i exist now is proof enough for me that something fishy is going on in this universe

There's nothing fishy. We exist because of pure randomness. That's it. But because who we are, we like to think there is some omnipotent being that made us, an afterlife, Santa Claus, Fairy Godmother etc. We can't accept the fact we are all here just by chance. That's it. Pure chance.
We feel there must be some meaning, purpose etc. Occam's Razor.

But the biggest revelation is that its pointless. There is no point to our existence. This is the hardest thing to wrap your head around.

 

[King Ashoka]

the law of conservation states that energy cannot be created or destroyed it been shown that it can be created out of nothing.

Electric field and magnetic field is not nothing. Space itself is not nothing. Lot of energy is spend to create even smalllest of space.

 

[Darkover]

There's nothing fishy. We exist because of pure randomness. That's it. But because who we are, we like to think there is some omnipotent being that made us, an afterlife, Santa Claus, Fairy Godmother etc. We can't accept the fact we are all here just by chance. That's it. Pure chance.
We feel there must be some meaning, purpose etc. Occam's Razor.

exactly out of nothing we come and to nothing we return but given the fact this has all come to be whats to say it can't happen again in few trillion years, death is just like going to sleep only you don't have any conscious thoughts if rebirth is real it would be just like you've gone to sleep and woke up with a clean start

 

[livinginhellnation]

Why don't you read of all the people who died and came back, how come most of them start becoming spiritual after it? The spiritual clearly exists. I have seen people go through awakenings and go from hardcore atheists to fully spiritual.

Hogwash. No one has REALLY died and come back. They supposedly "died" for a short duration. I do not believe it. All propaganda. So why hasn't someone who died 100 years ago come back and tell us what death is really all about?

exactly out of nothing we come and to nothing we return but given the fact this has all come to be whats to say it can't happen again in few trillion years, death is just like going to sleep only you don't have any conscious thoughts if rebirth is real it would be just like you've gone to sleep and woke up with a clean start

It can but will these new lifeforms have 2 feet, 2 hands, a head, etc? ...you get the gist.

 

[Darkover]

Electric field and magnetic field is not nothing. Space itself is not nothing. Lot of energy is spend to create even smalllest of space.

yes but you put in less energy then you get out hence nothing from nothing

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I disagree. There's no such thing as spirituality. No such thing as paranormal. It's something we make up.

That is true . there has been not even a single experimental piece of scientific evidence for any soul, spirit, god, afterlife , reincarnaion nothing . Why is god or a soul , ghosts so shy, hiding so well ? There is no god, afterlife , soul spirit ,reincarnation, etc. Only the ape brain in an human creates consciousnes ,thinking , the mind etc. and there's been 100 years of brain experiments to prove this.

I think humans invented all the following : religion , afterlife, god, soul etc , cultural morals , societal morals, god, soul, reincarnation , hell , afterlife, made up out of thin air. .Humans made all of that up in order to control other humans .and also Today this is perpetrated to keep humans from killing themselves and in control now.

Harari touches on this in his book sapiens. he says that religion , culture is fiction . i agree and I think it goes far deeper than that especially today. how deep does the rabbit hole go? and I prove it by saying that there is no objective morality only subjective . i claim all the following are their subjective ideas constantly broadcast as truth but to me they are fiction and not true at all : but they will tell you their fictional ideas their subjective morality are the facts of life things such as "life is good" , life is sacred, non-existence is bad, suicide is irrational . a human is important ( antropocentric bias), consiousness is awesome : oh is it and that's the thing that causes extreme pain and suffering so why is all this glorified constantly ? we can guess right. All these things life / existence / consciousness / brains are the only things in the universe that create extreme pain and extreme suffering . But these are constantly glorified as the best things so worthy of the universe creating them for what to suffer?

 

[sserafim]

We are all made of stars.