Help A question if I should commit to my suicidal ideation or give up and go back to the mediocrity of modern life

[ezboy45]

I personally grown more nihilistic, misanthropic and angry with my past self, now and others due to the fact of how our world is going and the fact we enlist the worst individuals in power that will destroy our lives thus we do very little about it on a broader level. and on a personal sense I've had troubles about my future since I wish to get into creative fields, but I eventually have to go to trade school and give into the mediocrity of life which I do not wish for especially having to talk to people I despise every day in out or worse end up homeless. What would be best?: finding a way to commit suicide or just get therapy like any other normal human being?

 

[Drogon]

What trade are ya thinking ?

Therapy is always a good option especially if you haven't been before .

 

[braziliansuicidegirl]

I can't tell you what to do. But I've caught myself thinking the same thing many times over the years. For now, I've chosen to go to therapy and keep trying, and I don't regret that so far. I've had some good moments, even though most of the time hasn't been that great. I like to think of suicide as a plan B, when I can't take it anymore, when I'm tired of trying, that would be it. It comforts me to know that when I don't want to live anymore, I can just give up.

 

[ezboy45]

What trade are ya thinking ?

Therapy is always a good option especially if you haven't been before .

None since I've been wanting to be an actor, story writer or musician but I'm certain it will blow up in my face

Much like religion, I have a huge distrust to therapy since most people including myself used it as a way of escapism but that's just me

 

[Hollowillow]

Why not all of it? Trade school, art on the side, trade art, think of death like an artist, get a burn out trying to do it all, trying to find balance, with some luck you die of a heart attack at 50 from too much coffee... I wish... I can't drink it. Everything is mediocre. Finding value is a choice... One i'm too in pain to make. Good luck

 

[LastLightFade...]

If you're not sure, you shouldn't proceed to suicide. I think it's best if you try to seek therapy first and give it a try. There's not really much to lose; we all hate things we've done in the past. I suggest giving more thought to suicide rather than coming to an immediate conclusion.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I can't tell you what to do. But I've caught myself thinking the same thing many times over the years. For now, I've chosen to go to therapy and keep trying, and I don't regret that so far. I've had some good moments, even though most of the time hasn't been that great. I like to think of suicide as a plan B, when I can't take it anymore, when I'm tired of trying, that would be it. It comforts me to know that when I don't want to live anymore, I can just give up.

I love that you're trying to get help and have had some good moments! I was thinking about this the other day, that if someone has it in them to be happy and have good moments then it's worth living.

@ezboy45 Like others have said there's no need to rush into anything. I've had suicidal ideation for years-you really don't wanna be like me-someone who thought I was gonna CTB every year so just wasted life away and then 10 years later I've neither done that or done anything else with my life. It's really hard to go through with so even from that point of view it's better to give life a go if you can cos it ain't easy to CTB unless you're truly desperate. Always best to think of it as a very last resort imo. You sound young enough to turn things around so therapy might not be a bad idea. Wish you the best and hope you find a way to do what you want in life!

 

[Sphinxi]

I find myself feeling very misanthropic and jaded sometimes, but usually my mind changes when I am around quality people. Maybe try going to a community event or something?

 

[Green Destiny]

Definitely get where you're coming from. The world has gotten worse over the years ran by people who want nothing more than to crush us all after using us for what little worth we have. Can't help but to feel nothing but apathy about everything.

 

[badatparties]

Only you can decide how much value you get out of life. Everyone is different, some will CTB later, others sooner, and some will have suicidal ideation their entire lives but never CTB.

Most people here will not try to impose their worldview on others, or encourage others to CTB based on how they feel about life.

 

[alstroemeria55]

Nobody can really tell you which is preferable, only maybe that suicide is final and therapy is at least something you should try before making your final decision. If you find yourself nihilistic and disillusioned, why not just do whatever you want because screw it? Nobody else can write out your life for you aside from yourself. You're miserable anyway, I guess try being miserable in another way and see if it makes you a little less miserable.

 

[InevitableDeath]

None since I've been wanting to be an actor, story writer or musician but I'm certain it will blow up in my face

Anger is a huge advantage in these fields..... actor, writer or musician. Any creative fields really. Insipid creation may be popular, but its not usually very good.

Angry creation is the way to go. Its an energy.

If you're still young, even better!

Use it as your own therapy, it'll probably be more useful than therapists.

I find myself feeling very misanthropic and jaded sometimes, but usually my mind changes when I am around quality people. Maybe try going to a community event or something?

Sphinxi - have you met people?! Quality people? Where are they? Dream on.

 

[cursedlife]

If you want you can try getting help like going to therapy, you don't know how it may help you ,if you're not ready for ctb yet ,you can also try meds if you have depression I started taking antidepressants on top of antipsychotic and it helped a bit