Suine Kurisu
professional idiot
- Feb 25, 2023
- 19
i might take up the hobby again but i don't really know what i would do with my writings. i wrote this when i was still living in my abusive home when i was 19. looking back at this i'm surprised how little has changed since then, even if my life is completely different from what it was. in a way it feels like i never left. suicidal ideation remains a constant theme in my writings today as well.
here it is i guess:
fleeting thoughts, can't comprehend them in time
begging for mercy, my consciousness benign
contorting, shifting, can't trust the signs
and when i look in the mirror, who should i recognise?
this lonely cell, this prison is my mind
my only cellmates are, me, myself and i
one lives in panic and trembles in fear
another one tells me it's all a lie
the third one's so loud, my thoughts i can't hear
and the last one just endlessly cries
they said "drug them up to quiet them down",
then lied and said "you're safe and sound"
living dead inside, i can't get out
am i insane?
echoing screams permeate my mind
the light so blinding it hurts my eyes
claustrophobic, yet the walls divide
and so then my sanity dies
endless streams of tears, my happiness well runs dry
if this is living, why won't you let me die?
my cries go unheard, they're loud but stay inside
"we're trying to help you", but my salvation you deny
no hand to reach me, in this prison, my mind
it's useless to hide, its just a matter of time
writhe and seethe, endless noise flows inside
so long as i breathe, i'll never escape alive
it probably isnt anything special but i felt like sharing. nobody in my life would be able to relate to this probably
here it is i guess:
fleeting thoughts, can't comprehend them in time
begging for mercy, my consciousness benign
contorting, shifting, can't trust the signs
and when i look in the mirror, who should i recognise?
this lonely cell, this prison is my mind
my only cellmates are, me, myself and i
one lives in panic and trembles in fear
another one tells me it's all a lie
the third one's so loud, my thoughts i can't hear
and the last one just endlessly cries
they said "drug them up to quiet them down",
then lied and said "you're safe and sound"
living dead inside, i can't get out
am i insane?
echoing screams permeate my mind
the light so blinding it hurts my eyes
claustrophobic, yet the walls divide
and so then my sanity dies
endless streams of tears, my happiness well runs dry
if this is living, why won't you let me die?
my cries go unheard, they're loud but stay inside
"we're trying to help you", but my salvation you deny
no hand to reach me, in this prison, my mind
it's useless to hide, its just a matter of time
writhe and seethe, endless noise flows inside
so long as i breathe, i'll never escape alive
it probably isnt anything special but i felt like sharing. nobody in my life would be able to relate to this probably
