LadyAlastor
Fading In And out losing time with the two I love.
- Jan 13, 2020
- 151
Sitting in an alleyway on break having a cigarette, the janitor sees an old friend.
"It's getting bad again isn't it?"
Her friend and nods her head and then replies
"Why does it get like this and why doesn't it stop, there has to be a stopping point right we're always just stops for good?"
The janitor smiles nodding her head back and forth touching the tip of her hat
"Sorry old friend but it does not, it goes on then it goes off and it goes on then it goes off again sometimes it gets easier and sometimes it gets worse and when it gets bad you just need someone to hold and sometimes that person isn't there"
The friend looked a little annoyed but overwhelmed.
"then what the hell am I supposed to do with this feeling all I want to do is jump off the bridge or go 150 mph in my car slamming into a wall it never ends every day it's a different thought of a method!"
She looked at her friend walked up to her looked directly in her eyes and asked her "have you ever had a plan have you ever legitimately attempted?"
She nods her head
"Yes I have once at the rope and then twice with bleach"
I brushed my thumb against her cheek, "ever thought of a suicide pact?.... I'm open to it no one wants to die alone and that's a fact"
She backed away for a moment taking a deep breath "you deserve to live you're going to be okay"
I get angry instantly "are you kidding me? With everything that I've been through you expect me to keep living and thinking I'll be okay? Let me tell you something... That's not going to help,right now we are too suicidal individuals telling each other that suicide isn't the answer but in reality it's something we both want so why not do it together cut the crap?"
She laughed "is everything an anime to you!? I highly doubt people just commit acts of suicide together!"
I took a deep breath "look here sweetheart, first off my high obsession and infatuation with anime has nothing to do with the subject at hand second off even if I did anime is the second medium closest we have to real life you take away the superpowers and all that s*** they're still human they're just animated and there's plenty of slice of Life this is true that contains suicide and suicide packs however let me tell you that they do happen in real life all the time even as we're speaking right now no I am just giving you an offer so you don't have to be a complete and total ass"
She was lost for words for a moment but found them again.
"Okay how would we do it?"
She's sat down lighting up a cigarette
"Plenty of options, we can hang together no pun intended, we could ride in a blaze of glory, we could sleep to carbon monoxide poisoning, we can get s*** face drunk and slit our wrists open, we can OD on drugs, fall off an extremely high building, the sky's the limit"
Impressed with a list of ways you can be taken out she asks one of the most important questions.
"Okay this is fine and great but what are we going to do on our last day?"
I smiled " a fine question, that would have to be up to us do you want to spend the day alone with yourself and then come back we do it, or we can spend the time together doing whatever we want maybe a quick drive, some video games, getting high,doing both binge watching sailor Moon I don't care, but I will say the best thing to do during this moment from what I've heard was to have the best last day you can whatever you can manage, so if you'd like we can plan it out"
She nodded her head in agreement
"I'd like to do it now. It's early enough it's only 6:00, and if you're really going to do it you're not going to give a crap about work so come on let's go I'm ready"
I scoffed and smiled
"All right let's go you said it, cool plan it out I'll leave right now and we can get things set up, we'll talk about the method when we get to my place"
To be continued.
"It's getting bad again isn't it?"
Her friend and nods her head and then replies
"Why does it get like this and why doesn't it stop, there has to be a stopping point right we're always just stops for good?"
The janitor smiles nodding her head back and forth touching the tip of her hat
"Sorry old friend but it does not, it goes on then it goes off and it goes on then it goes off again sometimes it gets easier and sometimes it gets worse and when it gets bad you just need someone to hold and sometimes that person isn't there"
The friend looked a little annoyed but overwhelmed.
"then what the hell am I supposed to do with this feeling all I want to do is jump off the bridge or go 150 mph in my car slamming into a wall it never ends every day it's a different thought of a method!"
She looked at her friend walked up to her looked directly in her eyes and asked her "have you ever had a plan have you ever legitimately attempted?"
She nods her head
"Yes I have once at the rope and then twice with bleach"
I brushed my thumb against her cheek, "ever thought of a suicide pact?.... I'm open to it no one wants to die alone and that's a fact"
She backed away for a moment taking a deep breath "you deserve to live you're going to be okay"
I get angry instantly "are you kidding me? With everything that I've been through you expect me to keep living and thinking I'll be okay? Let me tell you something... That's not going to help,right now we are too suicidal individuals telling each other that suicide isn't the answer but in reality it's something we both want so why not do it together cut the crap?"
She laughed "is everything an anime to you!? I highly doubt people just commit acts of suicide together!"
I took a deep breath "look here sweetheart, first off my high obsession and infatuation with anime has nothing to do with the subject at hand second off even if I did anime is the second medium closest we have to real life you take away the superpowers and all that s*** they're still human they're just animated and there's plenty of slice of Life this is true that contains suicide and suicide packs however let me tell you that they do happen in real life all the time even as we're speaking right now no I am just giving you an offer so you don't have to be a complete and total ass"
She was lost for words for a moment but found them again.
"Okay how would we do it?"
She's sat down lighting up a cigarette
"Plenty of options, we can hang together no pun intended, we could ride in a blaze of glory, we could sleep to carbon monoxide poisoning, we can get s*** face drunk and slit our wrists open, we can OD on drugs, fall off an extremely high building, the sky's the limit"
Impressed with a list of ways you can be taken out she asks one of the most important questions.
"Okay this is fine and great but what are we going to do on our last day?"
I smiled " a fine question, that would have to be up to us do you want to spend the day alone with yourself and then come back we do it, or we can spend the time together doing whatever we want maybe a quick drive, some video games, getting high,doing both binge watching sailor Moon I don't care, but I will say the best thing to do during this moment from what I've heard was to have the best last day you can whatever you can manage, so if you'd like we can plan it out"
She nodded her head in agreement
"I'd like to do it now. It's early enough it's only 6:00, and if you're really going to do it you're not going to give a crap about work so come on let's go I'm ready"
I scoffed and smiled
"All right let's go you said it, cool plan it out I'll leave right now and we can get things set up, we'll talk about the method when we get to my place"
To be continued.
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