Venting A little prediction of my future

[thelement115]

The only reason why I haven't tried to end things is

1. I know my mom would be destroyed if I die, i think my dad and sister would be able to move but not my mom

2. I enjoy some friends company, they are like family and really makes me wanna be around.

But i know this will not be forever, my mom was cooked by covid, she survived after months in coma but her health has been deteriorating since.

My friends have then potential to build a family, one has already plans in two years and I can easily see the other one doing it soon. Once that happen they will not have time to play games at night.

Then i will do it, i can jump in front of the metro is a kinda popular method in my city.

So i just wanting to leave a record, i think 3 years from now will be the moment

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I can understand your wanting to leave a record and have a plan. I'm at the alone point and it's really tough. I don't have it in me to jump in front of a train, though. Even most of the peaceful methods seem painful or scary to me. I really wish my heart would just stop on its own while I sleep.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best.

 

[thelement115]

I can understand your wanting to leave a record and have a plan. I'm at the alone point and it's really tough. I don't have it in me to jump in front of a train, though. Even most of the peaceful methods seem painful or scary to me. I really wish my heart would just stop on its own while I sleep.

I've think other methods like jumping off a building or burn myself but the idea of surviving and be in an horrible state is terrifying

 

[Peter Skellern]

I've think other methods like jumping off a building or burn myself but the idea of surviving and be in an horrible state is terrifying

Please don't burn yourself.